i had a similar mindset to you coming into college where i wanted to achieve a lot. it's important to have that ambition earlier on, as it can propel you to improve yourself.
at the same time, don't get disheartened if things don't work out the first time around. i had a lot of issues in my first two years chasing after this idea of "lifelong college friends", and it's only after i stopped chasing and focused on myself that i was able to build some stronger friendships. engage with your hobbies and the things you like to do - people with similar interests can be found there.
be flexible and open - have a list of priorities for the day, and engage in "productive procrastinating" where you procrastinate on something by doing an unrelated productive thing (like taking a break from an essay and cleaning up my room). i split my time between career prep, clubs, and other engagements using this tactic.
it's a time of a lot of change, but you got this. good luck :)
Jan 8, 2025
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College (and especially first year) is one of the rare times in your life where it is so easy to meet all sorts of different types of people. Everyone is young and outgoing and you all have this shared âthingâ that you got accepted to this institution and most importantly youâre all geographically concentrated in this one place (the campus) in multiple settings and environments (class, library, dorms, activities, parties, etc). You also havenât been hardened by life (everyone gets busier, a little more risk averse, a little more guarded as they age - the game is just protecting as much of your youthful self as possible while still maturing and growing in all the best ways as you age but thatâs for another post).
Studying is important (especially if you want to at least **keep the door open** on going to some form of grad school because NO ONE PLANS ON GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL IN FIRST YEAR) but do not forget to make the most of EVERYTHING campus life has to offer - itâs like a buffet try the lobster tail and if you donât like you donât have to finish it get another plate. Life and memories happen in the most mundane moments: the stuff I remember and get misty eyed is such a random collection of experiences you couldnât design it if you tried itâs just the cumulus of doing a whole bunch of random stuff - some of it is sort of crazy stuff and some of it is as simple as getting a coffee with someone or throwing a charity car wash or polar bear dip or staying up late and ordering pizza studying for a midterm with friends.
Lastly be generous and be a honest, good person. The campus is a surprisingly small place, and reputations are quickly made or unmade (if youâre on here youâre probably a very awesome person but itâs always worth saying). Kindness goes a long way and you have no idea which of your acquaintances will go on to become lifelong friends. The people I stayed in touch with 15 years later are NOT who I expected!!
Feb 8, 2024
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I wasted a lot of time overfour years in college because I wasnât there for any particular reason. So step one in preparing for college is to want to go to college.
Another thing is to know âyouâll find your peopleâ isnt quite right. You can find your people but you have to look for them! Try lots of things and meet lots of people.
Balancing your people and your studies comes down to discipline. I donât think thereâsa universal answer to that. If youâre in a nerdy major at a nerdy school, itâll be easier than if youâre taking sociology at Arizona State or whatever a big party school is nowadays.
I think failing is a valuable part of college. Whether thatâs literally getting an F or just not getting the grade you want or the person you want, etc. Just like itâs a great place to meet people, itâs a pretty safe place to make mistakes as you figure things out. Especially because youâre surrounded by other people doing the sane thing! No one knows how theyâll do at college, you just figure it out.
I recommend watching the Psychology ofWell Being before you go. Itâs free on Coursera and is a popular course from Yale that teaches important things about what does and doesnât make us happy, and how our minds trick us into emphasizing the wrong things. Itâs really good!
Jan 11, 2025
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college is where I learned how to ski (was formerly terrified), rock climb, write about music, etc
be open minded when it comes to people, donât think things like âwell this person is in this club/this major so they must be like thisâ
most importantly, donât take your academics too seriously đ they matter but what matters more is your experiences, learning through actually working (internships), and making connections in the field youâre interested in. ofc varies based on what you intend to do after college. if no grad school then have fun and work!! the goal after college is employment so whatever gets you there
Feb 8, 2024
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a lot of hobbies pushed to us are surrounded by consumption. we watch shows, movies. consume albums, buy clothes and items, etc. not that there's anything inherently wrong with consuming, but consumption without creation breeds dullness.
we all have creativity within us. it gets beaten out when there are expections to commoditize your creativity. you feel the need to be the best, to be perfect in the first shot at something.
creation without the expectation of consumption is how we push back. i write poetry, even if it sucks. i drew a pig going to bed in a room full of disproportinately sized furniture because i felt like it. i'm looking to start dancing again.
the world has so much that's yet to be made, and we're blessed with the ability to contribute to that body of art.
Jan 8, 2025
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i love treating myself like i'm an aristocrat in training. my education should be well-rounded - versed in intellectual pursuits of science and economics but also artistic pursuits like literature and creation, physicalities like dancing, practicalities like cooking. everything is simply something to be learned, and when we learn we can adapt to whatever bullshit is happening in the world.
Jan 19, 2025
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i've been facing paralysis when i have to do something that i'm anxious about. i know at the end it'll be something "good for me", but that in itself doesn't stop the anxieties i have. waiting on it and stewing in my thoughts isn't helping me feel better. so, why not do things scared? the fear will be there regardless.
i'm trying to push through the fear and do things anyways. for example, i have a gap year in between my graduation and my job. the thought of applying to jobs in this market fills me with undeniable dread, but i'm doing it anyways one job at a time.
(on a side note, one anti-recommendation i have is the modern job hunt. why the fuck is this so hard)
the things we "have" to do feel like a deep pool sometimes. scream as you take the plunge, and you come out on the other end feeling a little bit lighter.
Jan 9, 2025