i don't know what happened, but i'm sorry. i think you cope by grieving and mourning. that's what i did. i journaled and cried and howled and screamed and rolled on the floor. i did this for an entire year. and it still wasn't enough. so i reached out to them like 4 days ago lol and it gave me the closure i so desperately needed. please please please remember to be kind to yourself and take care of yourself and show up for yourself even when it's the hardest thing to do. spend time with loved ones. do the things that you love. rediscover your passions. focus on you. treat yourself like the absolute g you are. remember who you are outside of this. it's so easy to lose yourself in this process of grieving. i believe in you. you can get through this <3