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this is something i feel really strongly about to improve all of our lives and grieving processes. especially for Americans, it’s an enduring taboo that talking about death is too dark, too bummer, too disturbed. i think this renders all of us without a roadmap or community when, inevitably, someone dear to us dies.
practicing talking about it, building a distress tolerance to it, learning about other people’s experiences with death, are all some of the things that have helped me the most since my brother’s death. it truly is the most universal great mystery and i think we’d all be better for it to walk through it together.
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Feb 14, 2025
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I watched my brother die of cancer at 22 when I was twelve, as well as my uncle of brain cancer and a few other members of my family. I then had a similar type of rare sarcoma cancer that my brother did when i was 20, and I was just talking to friends about this last night!
I think the most powerful thing we can do as humans is understand our mortality. Once we understand that we're just meat sacks with no universal truth beside death, we can exist in a manner that aligns with meaningful connection.
I advise you tell people things you need to tell them, whether you love them or you think something they're doing is not serving them.
Be justified and trusting in all your decisions for yourself because you have to now.
I'm so sorry this is coming as a shock to you so suddenly. this is hard shit to reckon with at first. But just like my brother said while being interviewed on CNN during our MLB ballpark tour raising awareness in '06:
"I live every day like I'm dying"
Jul 25, 2024
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I don’t mean this in a dark or morbid way – it’s just truly a great reality check. Time is precious. (And if you’re dealing with death or loss, I like to recommend The Dark Interval: Letters on Loss, Grief, and Transformation by Rainer Maria Rilke – a lovely collection of Rilke’s correspondences with bereaved friends and acquaintances during times of mourning).
Mar 23, 2023
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man i thought this would be obvious but recently my best friend lost her mother. i was trying to think of other instances before hand when I had to be there for someone & couldn’t pin point something that felt …. I don’t know, something other than “im sorry” , something that felt really sufficient.
while I understand that physically just being there for someone is helpful, when I was reading about this I didnt realize there are things that aren’t helpful & things that are more helpful to say to someone, with some not being super obvious
For example, Asking “what do you need from me” didnt make the cut as being helpful. I couldn’t pin point if I used this phrase before previously, but this one might not have been as obvious.
Reading about it was super helpful honestly. Could apply to any situation, not just limited to death. If someone you know is grieving, think about your response! I’m excited to take what I learned into future similar situations & happy to learn how to support my loved ones through difficult times
Sep 19, 2024
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Mar 9, 2025
i’m so enchanted every time i see one on the road. they’re a little naked
Feb 20, 2025
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the first few days that have been over freezing and this is one of the best feelings
Feb 24, 2025