Rec | GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF

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Rec'd on 🔮 how did you know you found it?

I think continually asking why you want something can help with this. When you do, you may realize the ”it” you want is rooted in other people: how they’ll perceive you, if you’ll be accepted by them, etc. The older I’ve gotten I’ve been better at untangling some of my desires from the ego and I think it has lead to better self-satisfaction of where I am at and where I am going. it’s also allowed me to ”let go” of some dreams. That’s sounds negative or sad but I don’t mean it so: sometimes you white-knuckle-grip an idea of yourself so hard that it destroys you! I think ”letting go” doesn’t mean things won’t happen, it means they don’t have to and that pressure alleviation can make all the difference. That’s not to say to never let the drive of the ego take over…I’m not sure we would create art/great things without it. I guess what I’m saying is that knowing the root of our desires is a key to balance and self-assuredness.

@gretafetacheese

Feb 18, 2025

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@sleeperhit

this is COMPLETELY what i needed to hear i think. it’s the thing where i probably know what to do on some level but i don’t like the answer lol. you’re so right though, there is no destination and growing out of something you were sure of once doesn’t mean you were wrong. it’s all part of it! unfortunately it’s the journey baby!

Feb 18, 2025

@gretafetacheese

Oh and MOST IMPORTANTLY it is always changing! And you have to change with it! I don’t think life is working up to some arrival point. It sounds exhausting to know there is no final resting spot where you can stop having existential thoughts. But you’ll have moments of the feeling along the way if you let yourself. and it makes the moments of instability easier because you know you’ll return to level ground eventually. This is all easier said than done and I’m only 29. I may eat my words by 30 but I may also land back here (or somewhere else entirely!) by 60—but that’s part of the change! and I think if we want any chance at being happy we have to embrace it because the only constant is change. TLDR; its the journey, not the destination 🤓

Feb 18, 2025

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what are your “dreams”, really?

This might not necessarily apply to your situation, but I figured I’d share my thoughts anyway. Often I think we buy into narratives we impose on ourselves about what will make us truly happy or content. People spend a lot of their lives chasing some lofty goal, often at great personal cost, both mental and physical. And once they get there, the result might not even be that great. There might be some complications that were never considered. Or, the day-to-day reality of the dream made manifest isn’t as glamourous or fulfilling as we thought it would be. I’m not saying you need to disregard your aspirations. But I think it’s good to have an open mind about potential futures, even beyond what you see as being immediately fulfilling, or the “truest” version of yourself. I know it’s hard in our world to conceive of our self-worth outside of what we spend a great deal of our time doing. At the same time, I think it’s possible to strike a balance between what we think we want and what ends up making us happy. Hope that makes sense.

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Learning to trust yourself

I contemplate these questions often, I feel like one conclusion I have come to is learning to trust myself first. Obviously sometimes that means you could be wrong, but when you listen to yourself - in your heart & in your gut - it has the answers more often than not. Sometimes that takes going through new experiences and learning new things about yourself. Allowing it to look like whatever it needs to look like. Some say utilizing stillness will help, but for others it may be chaos that helps to gather the insight and wisdom you seek.

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IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF CHANGE IT

this just came back to me after a while. it used to be on repeat in my head like a mantra, even to an unhealthy degree, but i forgot how powerful it can be in moderation. it’s so simple, so obvious, of course, but there’s a difference between knowing and understanding it. feeling it click is so freeing and like a revelation. but it feels good to know that you are entirely within your own control (exceptions exist but for the most part) and you can make yourself whatever you want to be. nothing can get inside your head or take your body away from you. there‘s definitely a negative side too, but it feels good to know that.

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