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I cried like a baby the other day, and honestly I'm glad I did.
In my core class I was doing some research on my EE topic, mainly focusing on Marina Abramović since I'm obsessed with her work so obviously my essay is revolved around her.
Anyways,
Amidst my research I took in time to view a fuller extent of The Artist is Present'. I knew it was an all day things, how people lined up to view it and even how celebrities such as Alan Rickman and Bjork sat with Abramović. The main thing about this was to have a conversation without words and instead utilize eyes, expressions, and sighs.
I know there are photos and videos of people crying and such when meeting Abramović, but she wouldn't have any extreme reactions other then smiling or sometimes shedding a single tear. Moreover, she would not move her arms nor extend them to the person sitting across from her.
Ulay was a German performance artist who had a relationship with Abramović with twelve years and after mutually agreeing to separating, they decided to meet each other at the great wall of China. The two started at opposite ends and met at the middle which took three months, they hugged, and this act was called 'Lovers'.
I love artist lore especially when it's about two people who have history together in the same profession.
Anywho so one day while Abramović is seated with eyes shut, a guy takes a seat on front of her and when they lock eyes the two immediately becone teary eyed.
Because it's Ulay and their first time seeing each other in years.
They cry, laugh, smile, and for the first time extends her arms to hold Ulay's hands, to which he takes.
So yeah, seeing it made me bawl and it's overall such a powerful clip. I think everyone should watch it.
I think too that it encapsulates that despite growing far from a previous loved one, the emotions are still kept in tact waiting for a chance to sprout again.
Feb 20, 2025
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i do this with a couple in particular, whenever i feel like having a good crying session: the final scenes in call me by your name and normal people. it's pretty much automatic, especially with normal people. i know exactly what the characters are going to say and when, but i still cry every time. it doesn't matter how many times i've seen it. the scene will always carry the same emotions and be able to access the same ones within me. what a privilege it is to be profoundly moved by something.
Nov 10, 2024
Listen, I've watched Little Women about ten times but FOR SOME REASON, only a couple days ago when watching it with a best friend did we both start crying.
We had both watched the movie many times before, but i guess this specific time in our life where this movie found us hit different. She's in her first year in college and I'm in my gap. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness that can take over when entering a new phase in your life is UNMATCHED, and jo's monologue just hit.
Watching the movie, there are these very evident hard cuts between the warmth of childhood and coldness of the present, BUT when you actually think about it, can you recall the moment in the movie it BECOMES the present, and the color shifts? Probably not, because time is subtle. You don't wake up and suddenly realize you're a grown up who must make your own way in the world. Its more of a retrospective. Jo herself probably didn't realize her childhood was as warm and beautiful as it was.... until it was gone.
Anyways we cried and laughed about why we were crying, but I haven't been able to think about it since. I don't know where I am in the color palette sunset of warm to cold, but I will know once I've long passed it.
Jan 22, 2025
Tear jerking stuff, hadn't had a good cry for a while since before seeing this, heart wrenching watch for when u feel like u need to feel something
Mar 5, 2025
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I have always adored art ever since I was in preschool. I loved creating characters or even doing my own renditions on characters and movies.
I even took time during lockdown to work on my interest, putting in hours of learning anatomy and structure.
However for a while I've been in a slump of sorts, I've lost creativity and the fuel to continue.
It's been hard, especially since drawing and creating is something I've been putting effort to what seems like eons at this point. I even decided to just quit altogether and pursue something else as a dream career.
There had become a point where my boyfriend gave me a pep talk and to prove his point he had read me a book he wad reading for philosophy called 'The Republic';
"All great things are precarious... Beautiful things really are difficult" and in his own words told me -
"It occurs often throughout the text, anything that is easy will never be beautiful, for if it is easy it won't have the scars and marks of something built through struggle, those scars and marks are the cracks through which beautiful shines most brightly", which I think helped me.
For the past month in my art class I've been researching a style called 'Jugendstil' and got a bit of inspiration again. I want to show off what I made because I'm genuinely happy with my product since a hot minute.
Anyways moral of the story, don't beat yourself up if you don't find something about you or what you make up to your standards, because beautiful things take time.
Feb 27, 2025
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I can't describe the feeling whenever I watch one of these kinds of film. Dinner In America, Buffalo 66, Little Miss Sunshine, etc. I don't know exactly how to categorize them, but they give off a certain vibe.
The absurdity that happens is oddly comforting in ways I can't explain, but I enjoy them and the place they hold in my heart.
Feb 17, 2025
I don't really know how to start this post, so I'll let out the word vomit.
As days pass, I sometimes find myself more confident, appreciating my physical appearance and grateful for what I can handle mentally and emotionally. Some days I acknowledge I'm smart, pretty, funny.
Yet other times I can't see any of that.
A lot of times I don't really see myself as pretty, incapable of remembering a simple equation, I feel as if I'm a wet towel thrown on my friend's and loved ones. Maybe I compare myself to others often and that's my issue, that I see myself as lowly yet other times I put my self worth as high.
I'm a very back and forth kind of girl if you didn't know already. I do have my moments however when I give in and embrace what I am, a girl who spends more time doing my makeup than studying, and what I enjoy like playing Hello Kitty games when I finish schoolwork or watch reality television, maybe spiral into a rabbit hole of lore after learning about a new game.
But I can't deny the weirdness I feel when nobody understands what I'm talking about.
They say 'to be cringe is to be free' but God does it make you writhe with displeasure when you're the cringey one.
I'm coming to accept and realize that I can be harsh and cruel to myself, especially when it comes to my abilities to perform hobbies I'm passionate about. I've stopped drawing for a month because of these impending thoughts.
It's like wearing a suit of flesh in hopes of getting some idea of what you are for some sense of clarity.
Maybe it's because I am just a girl, or it's the human experience nobody talks about. If we did, maybe we wouldn't feel as alone or awkward but oh well, what can you do?
Slowly but surely I have come to accept and embrace myself despite the faults I carry.
Feb 19, 2025