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Whenever I pass by a pair of baby shoes at the store I wonder what my life will be like ten years from now. Funny that it sounds bizarre to love something that doesn't exist yet I am enamored with my future children.
I like to think that maybe love is there, just in the unborn.
Loving someone is never a waste, and the thought of loving him for the rest of my life definitely gives me the drive to work hard; if it means that my back will ache as I hunch over my desk to illustrate or animate I will bear through it with a smile. I really want to pursue art, it makes me happy and I have so many ideas.
Maybe one day I'll meet with my highschool best friend, and we will sit and chat for hours at a café. She will tell me the trajectory of her life while I show her my current work in progress and explain that love did prevail. I'll tell her about my engineer who works hard, and the two little darlings, all of which occupy my heart.
There's an idea that you shouldn't expect things to happen because life is a roller-coaster, yet I know I can accomplish my dreams with time. You shouldn't be afraid of dying, you should be afraid of not living. Why live in fear when you only live once?
2d ago
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⭐A few days ago, I had the beautiful opportunity of having a short animated film I made screened at a festival. I felt so happy, like my whole body was smiling. I was deeply moved to reconnect with several artists from around the world.
I want to fulfill dreams. I want to be kind. I want to inspire and express myself. I want to look back and thank myself for believing I could create beautiful things.
I don’t want to lose this feeling of wanting to dream.
I’m afraid my soul might disintegrate in my 9-hour-a-day job in a grey office.
I’m afraid of fear itself, or of being affected by things that don’t belong to me.
I want to keep believing there’s something more.
May 7, 2025
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😎this comment is late asf but hi cool person... its a little silly but ever since i was literally in like . 5th grade i kept going "i wanna work at Nintendo and be a concept artist for zelda"! I said it so straightforward and matter of fact. I guess I left an impression on the tutors and teachers around me who constantly heard me talking about my dreams and goals for after elementary school when I was still in elementary, and even me talking about what college I wanted to go to when I was still in middle school. In sixth grade I sent a fan letter to the supposed "address" of Shigeru Miyamoto that I had just looked up on Google and instead got a letter back from "Nintendo of America Fan Mail" or "Customer Services" or something and I was so upset like "THIS ISN'T FROM JAPAN!" LOL
of course Nintendo today isn't what it used to be; doesn't have the same... charm it had when I was a kid and decided I wanted to work there, if you know what I'm talking about. And my dream has... evolved... or changed a lot. But it's still hardcore in the same vein. I want to be an animator. It's been... wow, almost 6 years ago since I fell in love with animation. Like, I've always loved WATCHING animations, but now it's that chill when you see an animation you KNOW is good; some tasty asf key frames, unique timing, smears, respect for animators who gave a certain scene such care... I be like "mmm those inbetweens are tasty asf respect to the animator who actually did all'at" and people will be like "wtf" lmao 💀 Like sorry I'm congratulatimg non PowerPoint animation!! Wait sorry Im going on a rant. Anyways. I still wanna work WITH Nintendo on a Zelda game someday, FOR SURE. Because it was Zelda that inspired me to work professionally as an artist as early as elementary school and I never lost that drive. I also love animating too and am trying to make all of these aspirations happen in a SCARILY cutthroat industry, especially with the recent rise of AI and streaming service popularity - animators have always been stupidly treated as "disposable" and it's getting worse than ever now. I graduated community college with a 2 year degree in animation this past summer (yay!) but after transferring to a hardcore 4 year animation program across the country, and especially after this semester, I have realized the horrifying truth, and experienced it myself that the "industry" is a world where the weak get CULLED, and early on. Even your personality can and will get you culled.
Still, I push on
To quote myself as a kid all those years ago: "If I have to work every day of my life as an adult (which I am now) then the only way I could stand it is if my job is doing what I love!" So, even if people tell me to give up, I won't, for better or worse. It makes me look stupid, and I often wonder: "Why keep going?" But the thing that gets me is imagining what life would look like IF I gave up. What I'd be doing, where I'd be instead. And it's a horrific, unsavory, dreadful scene. So I'll keep going, and it's those dreams that have kept me motivated for so, so long. I know this comment was also. Incredibly long. But actually, thanks for giving me a place to talk about it, since I've been going through a hard time right now... It was great to get it all out. Um... Blessings be with you, slay! :D
Dec 14, 2024
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I completely and utterly ruined my sleep schedule rather than fixing it this summer, which unfortunately goes against my goals. However I'm learning that not everything is a dire situation, life and death, and in that I can breathe.
To just be. That I can just exist; I don't have to be a prodigy at a certain something rather learn to sit and take a step back to assess. I had a stressful junior year especially in April, I've dug myself in a pit I've recently gotten out of.
I constantly have to remind myself that I will always have room for growth and an unmet goal doesn't equate to failure. The lenience I give myself after such a long time is thanks to my boyfriend, and I'm happy with everything he's taught me. Its been philosophy, love that is patient and gentle, Marty Robbins, being open about my passion or disdain, support. Some are things I've either hated or disliked yet I find myself smiling and paying attention because I love him dearly, and with that I show support and interests he adores.
I'm seeing him again tomorrow, and I'm super excited. We're going to buy things for an upcoming trip later this month, and its going to be our first time traveling out of the city together and having a roadtrip. He's going to make me partake in playing at a water pit, but I'll oblige because if there's anything I've learned it's that life is too short to not do anything.
He also told me that he's going to get me a sketchbook specifically for outings and dates, which is an idea he brought up at our last outing a couple of days ago. I've never been super proud of my artwork, but with him I want you try, at least see why he loves what I create. He's always super happy when I draw or sketch something for him, so that's something I'll do more often when I can.
That's another thing, I don't feel guilty anymore when he insists on buying and gifting things, taking me places; he spoils and indulges my whims and wants. It's sweet, truly, and I always find myself wondering how I got so lucky.
Jul 2, 2025
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1d ago
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I think that their story is overshadowed by other greek love (if you can even call some that) stories like Orpheus and Eurydice, Hades and Persephone, and Aphrodite and Adonis. I analyzed this piece for my art class in the first semester of junior year and am still working on it for a study; it's cool actually how something that takes seconds to admire can take hours to gain insight. Greek myths I think prove that there's a bit of human in everyone; forgiveness and redemption, power and betrayal, love and hate.
Jul 7, 2025
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I cried like a baby the other day, and honestly I'm glad I did.
In my core class I was doing some research on my EE topic, mainly focusing on Marina Abramović since I'm obsessed with her work so obviously my essay is revolved around her.
Anyways,
Amidst my research I took in time to view a fuller extent of The Artist is Present'. I knew it was an all day things, how people lined up to view it and even how celebrities such as Alan Rickman and Bjork sat with Abramović. The main thing about this was to have a conversation without words and instead utilize eyes, expressions, and sighs.
I know there are photos and videos of people crying and such when meeting Abramović, but she wouldn't have any extreme reactions other then smiling or sometimes shedding a single tear. Moreover, she would not move her arms nor extend them to the person sitting across from her.
Ulay was a German performance artist who had a relationship with Abramović with twelve years and after mutually agreeing to separating, they decided to meet each other at the great wall of China. The two started at opposite ends and met at the middle which took three months, they hugged, and this act was called 'Lovers'.
I love artist lore especially when it's about two people who have history together in the same profession.
Anywho so one day while Abramović is seated with eyes shut, a guy takes a seat on front of her and when they lock eyes the two immediately becone teary eyed.
Because it's Ulay and their first time seeing each other in years.
They cry, laugh, smile, and for the first time extends her arms to hold Ulay's hands, to which he takes.
So yeah, seeing it made me bawl and it's overall such a powerful clip. I think everyone should watch it.
I think too that it encapsulates that despite growing far from a previous loved one, the emotions are still kept in tact waiting for a chance to sprout again.
Feb 20, 2025