first, outside of time-sensitive requests / emergencies, you don’t owe anybody an instant reply. i fully endorse sillygirltypebeat’s recommendation of focus modes to let people know when you’re away - outside of that, just be clear that you’re not helicoptering your notifications all day, and if you have friends who can’t accept that than you might need to go your separate ways. second, while you don’t owe anybody an *instant* reply, you should probably set a regular time every day to get on top of your messages - personal, professional, etc. i check my email, dms, and messages on various services once when i wake up, once in the afternoon, and once before i “clock out” (i wfh lmao) for the day. blocking out time to do this daily ensures that (1) your total unread messages never gets to the point where it’s debilitatingly stressful, and (2) because you have a set time to check them, you can turn all your messaging notifications off and happily mute any non-essential conversations totally guilt-free, because you know you have a set time to get back to it. my friend group discord is muted, my dms are largely muted, my email is *definitely* muted, and in every focus mode i have muted all notifications except phone calls from my parents / partner / roommates, but despite all that almost everybody in my life can rely on a response from me within at least 48 hours. notification discipline really matters
