Rec
😃
they say that your twenties are your best years or whatever. it fucking sucks.
i feel sooo lost, and is super weird cuz i know the feeling and i’ve been like this, i just thought it was all over. it feels like you go through puberty in a deeper level like for REAL.
i don’t like shit no more, and i can’t seems to find what i like or what i want to do with my life.
I JUST DECIDED TO CHANGE CARRER AFTER 2 or 3 YEARS INVESTED IN ADVERTISING?????? HELLO??
i can’, i feel like am running out of time. and i really don’t wan trot it to be up like hamilton’s. I feel a huuuuge weight on me right now and i can’t figure out how to get rid of it.
honestly when you are twenty-ish, it just sucks. nothing more just that; well so far that i know it does sucks.
this was supposed to be a super poetic paragraph of how your twenties are hard and incomprehensible, how you run and run trying to find your true calling and you keep on hearing a voice in your head “what makes you so special?” and you just can’t help but wonder “dang, now am not unique? who the fuck am i as an individual?” and explainig all the spiraling, but i can’t yet explain it. when is all over i will try to update you guys with a more in depth, detailed paragrap…..
i feel sooo lost, and is super weird cuz i know the feeling and i’ve been like this, i just thought it was all over. it feels like you go through puberty in a deeper level like for REAL.
i don’t like shit no more, and i can’t seems to find what i like or what i want to do with my life.
I JUST DECIDED TO CHANGE CARRER AFTER 2 or 3 YEARS INVESTED IN ADVERTISING?????? HELLO??
i can’, i feel like am running out of time. and i really don’t wan trot it to be up like hamilton’s. I feel a huuuuge weight on me right now and i can’t figure out how to get rid of it.
honestly when you are twenty-ish, it just sucks. nothing more just that; well so far that i know it does sucks.
this was supposed to be a super poetic paragraph of how your twenties are hard and incomprehensible, how you run and run trying to find your true calling and you keep on hearing a voice in your head “what makes you so special?” and you just can’t help but wonder “dang, now am not unique? who the fuck am i as an individual?” and explainig all the spiraling, but i can’t yet explain it. when is all over i will try to update you guys with a more in depth, detailed paragrap…..
Mar 14, 2025
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i need to like scream this into the universe so everyone knows:
THE TWENTIES DECADE BLOWS!!!!!! (i’m 31)
listen -- i had a shit childhood, so i went through my twenties with very little support. it wasn’t really time for me to ”explore” and “have fun”. it was just a brutal decade filled with my brain developing, drinking too much to fit in, and doing what i “think”’i should be doing. which actually makes you MISERABLE — see: compulsive heterosexuality, the divorce rate, quiet quitting, etc.
here’s my age theory
0-10 years old — infant
10-20 yrs old — toddler
20-30 yrs old — teenager
30-60 yrs old — adult
60+ yrs old — wizard
YOU my friend are merely just a teenager. Your job is to make it to wizard!!!! You have the rest of your life to “figure it out”. My advice to you is find routines that keep you healthy & cared for (eating, sleeping, walking, laughing). after getting a good footing with this — it will make you feel a little more normal and a little less crazy — then tackle the big stuff like “what am i supposed to do with my career”
in my twenties i was:
- sleeping in cars at points, working in restaurants
- i went from consultant (omg rip my eyes out) to middle school science teacher
- moved out of the city into the burbs (i have friends here so it helps) but i’ve never been happier!
- dated someone for 10 years, we got engaged!
- i broke off the engagement because i knew i was miserable but it was so safe and stable it made it so hard to leave but the bottom line is that i was miserable.
- change is ASS but sooooo much good stuff comes from change :)
things will get better!!!!!!!!!! we all must become wizards!!!!!!!
Mar 14, 2025
@CHRONICWEBUSER i must achieve wizard status , thank you for your eye opening range. it does makes sense because i feel how i was supposed to be feeling when i was a teenager
Related Recs
Rec
😃A HUGE text that probably no one will read but I'm bored.
Everything as we like it: you didn't ask for it, but you'll get it, sign here. I took the three most popular questions in this category and "very briefly" tried to convey the essence of MY thoughts on them. MY THOUGHTS. NOT RULES. NOT FUCKING PHILOSOPHY. I MIGHT BE WRONG. And i might delete it later just like J. Cole.
(small footnote - I don't know anything myself, I'm living for the first time, I could be wrong about everything, I just have nothing else to do on vacation, so I write. But, it might be useful to someone, because I have a certain system in my head, I live by it, I like everything).
1. "What to do in life?" - this is, no joke, the most fucking difficult question in life.
Along the way, it transforms. People aged 18-24 ask it just like this "What to do in life?", and around 30 it forms into "How the fuck to get everything done?", but the essence is the same. You don't know what's worth spending time on and what you can fuck off. And there's no mechanism for making decisions about it. Around 50, it seems to transform into "Why the fuck do anything at all?", but I haven't gotten there yet, can't say anything.
So, if you're 17-24 and you don't know what to do in life - it's totally normal. That's how it should be, everything's fine. Your brain isn't even fully formed yet, and you're already trying to find answers to the most difficult questions. Fuck it off, you'll just waste time, you'll rethink everything 10 times later. The coolest thing you can (and should, imo) do is gain experience. You need to try everything possible. You need to try all kinds of hobbies, different fields of interest, touch different professions, try different people, different countries, different food, different companies, everything different.
The idea is very simple: you have a fucking long time to live. And the sooner you understand what you REALLY like, the better. You're just freely trying different things from creativity to science. Find those that really excite you and dive headfirst into your love. It doesn't necessarily have to be a job, by the way. It can be any activity, people, company, family, hobby, anything. Treat everything as a test drive. But, not just like that, but with the purpose of looking at your feelings. You taste all the markers for taste and color, choose your favorites and calmly dive into them. And over the next 8-10 years, with sincere love for the thing, you can build such a career (family, relationships, competence, blah blah blah) that you'll be surprised yourself.
In short: try, compare, analyze, accumulate favorite activities and people. You're probably going to live a long life with them.
(I fucking love writing huge texts, for example. Here I am sitting by the ocean under a palm tree, next to a pool, bar, all that stuff, but typing on a laptop is far more interesting to me than all that combined)
For 28-35
For you, it's not all that joyful anymore. If the above-described work was done initially at about 20 years old, you have minimal problems. You're doing your favorite thing and you probably already have significant results. You just need to learn to allocate time for rest so as not to completely lose your mind, allocate time for loved ones and everything will be fine. Finding the right balance is indeed a challenge, but it's a purely individual battle. But at least you know where to look for the answer - in the balance.
But for those who didn't do the preparatory work at +/- 20 years, it might be fun. When you, not knowing your real preferences, real interests, real mechanisms of endorphin production in your head, jump into some long activity (a long career where you need to work 8-10 years for a promotion, family with children, mortgages, some other serious commitments), then you really have a 50/50 chance.
Either, you just guessed right and everything is fine, or you're fucked. At 30-40, to discover on some random Tuesday that everything you've been doing all your life is empty and doesn't bring you any joy - that's fucked up. It's very unpleasant. Because in your head you immediately have two extremes: either resign yourself and pull the strap to the end, knowing that nothing bright is foreseen in your life (well, something bright will be, but certainly not as you dreamed as a child), or destroy everything and build anew, and you're not 20 anymore. You've already spent 10 years. And the feeling of a missed life/opportunities will only get heavier with each day.
(if one of your friends starts doing some incomprehensible shit that he never did before, take a closer look, maybe he needs support)
What to do in such a situation? I don't fuckin' know. I've never been in that. But, what I definitely WOULD NOT do: I would definitely not make sudden movements and not destroy everything to the foundation (firings, divorces from wives, moving to another country to start "all over").
There will be no "All over". You're already 30+, and part of your life has passed as it has. It's neither good nor bad, just a fact. And no matter how you turn it, you did something good during that time. Family, competencies, position, some resources, real estate, blah blah blah. And there's a lot of valuable, important, and bright there.
But, if it became clear that something in life is SERIOUSLY wrong, then this understanding is already good. And you start with something simple - give yourself an hour a week to try what you've always wanted. Everyone has one hour a week. Just to try. Without conclusions, analysis, reasoning, and judgments of yourself. Just try your foot in the water in the pond once. A week later you can dedicate another hour. If you really like it, then you can dedicate an hour every week. Or even two. And gradually, little by little, add things to your life, but NOT GIVING UP everything you already have. You've been building all this for many years (including your personality), you can destroy it in a week, but it may take another 10 years to rebuild it all. And it's not a fact that it will be possible to restore everything in its original form.
The scheme is the same: give yourself something to try, if it goes on distance and you really want it, then CAREFULLY, quietly, start reallocating resources in that direction (attention, money, time, here and there). Don't break anything, but gently change the course of your ship. Because sometimes it happens that somehow hormones in your body just fucked up at one moment, your head is sideways, you believed that your life is complete darkness, destroyed everything, and then on the ashes it let you go and you realize that you destroyed everything just like that. And that's even more painful. Therefore, little by little, by teaspoon. Ideally - with a psychologist.
(I have a process in my notes that I should try this much new stuff in such-and-such a period, works great)
2. "What to do if you've lost your bearings?".
Very simple: the only bearing for you - is yourself. You - are the only person with whom you will fully live this life, all its joys and difficulties. Teachers will leave, idols will crumble under close examination, loved ones love you (I hope) just because, they wish you well, but they will not invent the meaning of your life for you. Only you can decide. And if you set a bearing on someone or some picture, what to do the moment that person or picture disappears? Be sad. But you shouldn't.
Therefore, we look at point #1, open a pack of markers, and start trying each one. And we make decisions based ONLY on our own taste and color.
3. "How to find the strength to get up in the morning and start doing something?".
Not at all. Want to do something - do it. Don't want to - fuck it.
The essence is very simple - you have one life. Just one. There won't be another. Absolutely none. And there are no chances of a "Continue" button appearing after a dark screen. They won't even show the final scores. There will be no feelings, no wind in your hair, no close people, no achievements, no travels, neither pain nor joy, fucking nothing. After some time, we all will have nothing and we ourselves will also be gone.
Personally, this realization really motivates me to get my ass up every day and do something. Achieve new career heights, earn money, travel, meet people, take care of my mind and body, because I won't have anything else. I have my torso, I have my life, I have some mechanism of endorphin production in my head and I have to do something with all this.
We are just guests here. For a bit. We can peek into this world, literally for a moment (60-80 years - it's just dust, in the context of history). And personally, I want to use this moment to the fullest. I want to smear myself with my favorite markers from head to toe and roll in them as long as possible.
And if you don't want to, you don't need anything and generally you're fine (considering that no one will give you a second chance) - well, that's great! Not joking, I'm really happy for you if doing nothing is
a conscious decision that gives you joy. You can confidently sit on the couch, grab a pack of chips, and wait until your heart stops.
And I'll still, probably, twitch and do something. Of course, I understand that globally all my activities have no meaning. In the context of history, my particular life means fucking nothing, so it doesn't matter what I manage to do during my time. Any result of mine will be erased a few years after death. Well, maybe in ten. The main motivation - I just have a lot of fun, it's interesting and exciting. That's all. There's no global meaning, I just enjoy it. Because I found my markers by random trials and errors. And I'll find a few more in the future. And I really don't want it to ever end, but it fucking will.
So, the only thing left is to have fun, enjoy and live life. You won't have another opportunity to do this.
Everything as we like it: you didn't ask for it, but you'll get it, sign here. I took the three most popular questions in this category and "very briefly" tried to convey the essence of MY thoughts on them. MY THOUGHTS. NOT RULES. NOT FUCKING PHILOSOPHY. I MIGHT BE WRONG. And i might delete it later just like J. Cole.
(small footnote - I don't know anything myself, I'm living for the first time, I could be wrong about everything, I just have nothing else to do on vacation, so I write. But, it might be useful to someone, because I have a certain system in my head, I live by it, I like everything).
1. "What to do in life?" - this is, no joke, the most fucking difficult question in life.
Along the way, it transforms. People aged 18-24 ask it just like this "What to do in life?", and around 30 it forms into "How the fuck to get everything done?", but the essence is the same. You don't know what's worth spending time on and what you can fuck off. And there's no mechanism for making decisions about it. Around 50, it seems to transform into "Why the fuck do anything at all?", but I haven't gotten there yet, can't say anything.
So, if you're 17-24 and you don't know what to do in life - it's totally normal. That's how it should be, everything's fine. Your brain isn't even fully formed yet, and you're already trying to find answers to the most difficult questions. Fuck it off, you'll just waste time, you'll rethink everything 10 times later. The coolest thing you can (and should, imo) do is gain experience. You need to try everything possible. You need to try all kinds of hobbies, different fields of interest, touch different professions, try different people, different countries, different food, different companies, everything different.
The idea is very simple: you have a fucking long time to live. And the sooner you understand what you REALLY like, the better. You're just freely trying different things from creativity to science. Find those that really excite you and dive headfirst into your love. It doesn't necessarily have to be a job, by the way. It can be any activity, people, company, family, hobby, anything. Treat everything as a test drive. But, not just like that, but with the purpose of looking at your feelings. You taste all the markers for taste and color, choose your favorites and calmly dive into them. And over the next 8-10 years, with sincere love for the thing, you can build such a career (family, relationships, competence, blah blah blah) that you'll be surprised yourself.
In short: try, compare, analyze, accumulate favorite activities and people. You're probably going to live a long life with them.
(I fucking love writing huge texts, for example. Here I am sitting by the ocean under a palm tree, next to a pool, bar, all that stuff, but typing on a laptop is far more interesting to me than all that combined)
For 28-35
For you, it's not all that joyful anymore. If the above-described work was done initially at about 20 years old, you have minimal problems. You're doing your favorite thing and you probably already have significant results. You just need to learn to allocate time for rest so as not to completely lose your mind, allocate time for loved ones and everything will be fine. Finding the right balance is indeed a challenge, but it's a purely individual battle. But at least you know where to look for the answer - in the balance.
But for those who didn't do the preparatory work at +/- 20 years, it might be fun. When you, not knowing your real preferences, real interests, real mechanisms of endorphin production in your head, jump into some long activity (a long career where you need to work 8-10 years for a promotion, family with children, mortgages, some other serious commitments), then you really have a 50/50 chance.
Either, you just guessed right and everything is fine, or you're fucked. At 30-40, to discover on some random Tuesday that everything you've been doing all your life is empty and doesn't bring you any joy - that's fucked up. It's very unpleasant. Because in your head you immediately have two extremes: either resign yourself and pull the strap to the end, knowing that nothing bright is foreseen in your life (well, something bright will be, but certainly not as you dreamed as a child), or destroy everything and build anew, and you're not 20 anymore. You've already spent 10 years. And the feeling of a missed life/opportunities will only get heavier with each day.
(if one of your friends starts doing some incomprehensible shit that he never did before, take a closer look, maybe he needs support)
What to do in such a situation? I don't fuckin' know. I've never been in that. But, what I definitely WOULD NOT do: I would definitely not make sudden movements and not destroy everything to the foundation (firings, divorces from wives, moving to another country to start "all over").
There will be no "All over". You're already 30+, and part of your life has passed as it has. It's neither good nor bad, just a fact. And no matter how you turn it, you did something good during that time. Family, competencies, position, some resources, real estate, blah blah blah. And there's a lot of valuable, important, and bright there.
But, if it became clear that something in life is SERIOUSLY wrong, then this understanding is already good. And you start with something simple - give yourself an hour a week to try what you've always wanted. Everyone has one hour a week. Just to try. Without conclusions, analysis, reasoning, and judgments of yourself. Just try your foot in the water in the pond once. A week later you can dedicate another hour. If you really like it, then you can dedicate an hour every week. Or even two. And gradually, little by little, add things to your life, but NOT GIVING UP everything you already have. You've been building all this for many years (including your personality), you can destroy it in a week, but it may take another 10 years to rebuild it all. And it's not a fact that it will be possible to restore everything in its original form.
The scheme is the same: give yourself something to try, if it goes on distance and you really want it, then CAREFULLY, quietly, start reallocating resources in that direction (attention, money, time, here and there). Don't break anything, but gently change the course of your ship. Because sometimes it happens that somehow hormones in your body just fucked up at one moment, your head is sideways, you believed that your life is complete darkness, destroyed everything, and then on the ashes it let you go and you realize that you destroyed everything just like that. And that's even more painful. Therefore, little by little, by teaspoon. Ideally - with a psychologist.
(I have a process in my notes that I should try this much new stuff in such-and-such a period, works great)
2. "What to do if you've lost your bearings?".
Very simple: the only bearing for you - is yourself. You - are the only person with whom you will fully live this life, all its joys and difficulties. Teachers will leave, idols will crumble under close examination, loved ones love you (I hope) just because, they wish you well, but they will not invent the meaning of your life for you. Only you can decide. And if you set a bearing on someone or some picture, what to do the moment that person or picture disappears? Be sad. But you shouldn't.
Therefore, we look at point #1, open a pack of markers, and start trying each one. And we make decisions based ONLY on our own taste and color.
3. "How to find the strength to get up in the morning and start doing something?".
Not at all. Want to do something - do it. Don't want to - fuck it.
The essence is very simple - you have one life. Just one. There won't be another. Absolutely none. And there are no chances of a "Continue" button appearing after a dark screen. They won't even show the final scores. There will be no feelings, no wind in your hair, no close people, no achievements, no travels, neither pain nor joy, fucking nothing. After some time, we all will have nothing and we ourselves will also be gone.
Personally, this realization really motivates me to get my ass up every day and do something. Achieve new career heights, earn money, travel, meet people, take care of my mind and body, because I won't have anything else. I have my torso, I have my life, I have some mechanism of endorphin production in my head and I have to do something with all this.
We are just guests here. For a bit. We can peek into this world, literally for a moment (60-80 years - it's just dust, in the context of history). And personally, I want to use this moment to the fullest. I want to smear myself with my favorite markers from head to toe and roll in them as long as possible.
And if you don't want to, you don't need anything and generally you're fine (considering that no one will give you a second chance) - well, that's great! Not joking, I'm really happy for you if doing nothing is
a conscious decision that gives you joy. You can confidently sit on the couch, grab a pack of chips, and wait until your heart stops.
And I'll still, probably, twitch and do something. Of course, I understand that globally all my activities have no meaning. In the context of history, my particular life means fucking nothing, so it doesn't matter what I manage to do during my time. Any result of mine will be erased a few years after death. Well, maybe in ten. The main motivation - I just have a lot of fun, it's interesting and exciting. That's all. There's no global meaning, I just enjoy it. Because I found my markers by random trials and errors. And I'll find a few more in the future. And I really don't want it to ever end, but it fucking will.
So, the only thing left is to have fun, enjoy and live life. You won't have another opportunity to do this.
Rec
I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick.
But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things.
I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future.
The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world.
I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace.
And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself.
u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is. x
But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things.
I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future.
The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world.
I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace.
And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself.
u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is. x
Rec
📆or I guess theres no set time of one’s life that should universally be their golden years, rather. I had an awful time starting my 20s, I graduated in 2021 having already lost half my college career to the pandemic, spent a year post college trying unsuccessfully to launch a career, lost another year moving back home to deal with family obligations, then found myself at 23 thinking I had missed the window on some universal period of self actualization that was supposed to happen between ages 19-22.
I think this idea is engrained in us because the progression laid out by our capitalist framework is that we do k-12 school, figure out how to apply our knowledge to a field in college, then know ourselves well enough by then to fit into whatever role we have chosen as the most productive for ourselves, and then do that stably as a career until retirement. or you get married and have kids to and support the domestic life of the partner who progresses professionally. obv what crises like COVID demonstrate is that this progression is flawed, and it’s not a one size fits all mold. to limit one’s entire development as a person into what they do to prepare for a lifetime of working is insanely reductive.
if you find yourself jealous of those younger than you, it’s likely that you envy the stage of life they are in - the stage just before they assume responsibility and obligation and lose the agency to chose how they apply themselves. this is somewhat of an imposed illusion, though. we all have agency at all points of our life to make the choices that can lead us towards our own flourishing, whether they be big steps or small ones.
for me, I decided to change career paths entirely and pursue grad school. i’m about to graduate and now i’m feeling like my passions are leading me elsewhere other than the field I set out to enter when I started my program. I turn 26 in like 3 weeks and i’m still figuring out what drives me and how to pursue it. for some folks that clarity of direction may come sooner, for some it may come later, but the point isn’t for that clarity to steer you to a destination where you then arrive at self actualization and can finally enjoy being - the point is to have the clarity to enjoy where you’re at within process of discovery. to be is to be in process.
ditch the assembly line mindset you were taught, you don’t come out of your early 20s a fully assembled human ready to produce economic value. your whole life is a process of constructing and deconstructing, adding on new pieces, finding joy in troubleshooting the newness of each piece, swapping the old parts for ones that might serve you better, being informed in the creation of the new by what didn’t serve you with the old. you slowly build yourself into a state that works in each moment to produce the greatest flourishing for you in that instance. to inhabit that process actively is self realization. it’s a task, not a place.
you aren’t a fixed piece, and you shouldn’t envy those who are chronologically younger than you because you assume time grants them more freedom to assemble themselves than it does you. they might be more or less realized than you based on how much time or thought they’ve dedicated to the task or how much freedom they’ve had to pursue it. understand, though, that you have control over how much time and thought you dedicate to your own realization and can act on it regardless of stage of life. sometimes obligation gets in the way of the immediacy of that ability, trust me I get that, but even taking brief moments to envision what things or places or people or experiences might serve to build you up in the ways that you need is valuable in and of itself for granting you a sense of direction that you can pursue at any time.
just don’t get so caught up in feeling like you need clarity first to know what to do. don’t sit around getting distracted waiting for it to come to you. interrogate it, seek it out. use your time wisely, but don’t be mislead into thinking there’s a timer on it. there’s no deadline if the assignment isn’t to present a product but instead to enjoy the process of creating and discovering for as long as you so choose.
I think this idea is engrained in us because the progression laid out by our capitalist framework is that we do k-12 school, figure out how to apply our knowledge to a field in college, then know ourselves well enough by then to fit into whatever role we have chosen as the most productive for ourselves, and then do that stably as a career until retirement. or you get married and have kids to and support the domestic life of the partner who progresses professionally. obv what crises like COVID demonstrate is that this progression is flawed, and it’s not a one size fits all mold. to limit one’s entire development as a person into what they do to prepare for a lifetime of working is insanely reductive.
if you find yourself jealous of those younger than you, it’s likely that you envy the stage of life they are in - the stage just before they assume responsibility and obligation and lose the agency to chose how they apply themselves. this is somewhat of an imposed illusion, though. we all have agency at all points of our life to make the choices that can lead us towards our own flourishing, whether they be big steps or small ones.
for me, I decided to change career paths entirely and pursue grad school. i’m about to graduate and now i’m feeling like my passions are leading me elsewhere other than the field I set out to enter when I started my program. I turn 26 in like 3 weeks and i’m still figuring out what drives me and how to pursue it. for some folks that clarity of direction may come sooner, for some it may come later, but the point isn’t for that clarity to steer you to a destination where you then arrive at self actualization and can finally enjoy being - the point is to have the clarity to enjoy where you’re at within process of discovery. to be is to be in process.
ditch the assembly line mindset you were taught, you don’t come out of your early 20s a fully assembled human ready to produce economic value. your whole life is a process of constructing and deconstructing, adding on new pieces, finding joy in troubleshooting the newness of each piece, swapping the old parts for ones that might serve you better, being informed in the creation of the new by what didn’t serve you with the old. you slowly build yourself into a state that works in each moment to produce the greatest flourishing for you in that instance. to inhabit that process actively is self realization. it’s a task, not a place.
you aren’t a fixed piece, and you shouldn’t envy those who are chronologically younger than you because you assume time grants them more freedom to assemble themselves than it does you. they might be more or less realized than you based on how much time or thought they’ve dedicated to the task or how much freedom they’ve had to pursue it. understand, though, that you have control over how much time and thought you dedicate to your own realization and can act on it regardless of stage of life. sometimes obligation gets in the way of the immediacy of that ability, trust me I get that, but even taking brief moments to envision what things or places or people or experiences might serve to build you up in the ways that you need is valuable in and of itself for granting you a sense of direction that you can pursue at any time.
just don’t get so caught up in feeling like you need clarity first to know what to do. don’t sit around getting distracted waiting for it to come to you. interrogate it, seek it out. use your time wisely, but don’t be mislead into thinking there’s a timer on it. there’s no deadline if the assignment isn’t to present a product but instead to enjoy the process of creating and discovering for as long as you so choose.
Jul 11, 2024
Top Recs from @conconetedekoko
Rec
😃I recently was discharged from therapy and the best thing is that i felt it coming. I am feeling such a great peace and so different is like my brain shifted in a good way. I can’t believe it yet but i know i deserved it!!!
May 27, 2025
Rec
⭐I just started the process of creating my own brand in order to get serious with my carreer. I currently am pursuing a Advertising degree, and broooooooooooooooooooootheeer it sucks ass.
I feel sooo desmotivated, but I went to my therapist and DANG SHE DO MAKE GOOD USE OF MY MONEY, she told me that I could target a certain group to provide them with services. honestly I LOVE IT.
it got me excited enough to see what am lacking, and to see what am not. While am a creative type of soul, I do struggle a lot at the moment as I been working to survive and not working to grow my carreer. this si honestly awful, but so true. If you are not born in a golden spoon type of situation, you will have to push harder. Saying that, i want you to know that you can do this, and everything is possible.
Id on't have resources, period. however I'm pushing with what I can and what I have, i don't feel like a fool when am doing creative stuff but I do feel like a fool when am doing customer service dang I hate ppl honestly and a kind specifically but that's too controversial.
Anywas, I wanted to share how am literally starting a business lol, and so do you. Is ALL about the LITTLE things, belive me.
OF COURSE, i will appreciate all the support and clients you guys can provide me with jijiji but that will be for another post.
THANK YOU FOR READING < 3
I feel sooo desmotivated, but I went to my therapist and DANG SHE DO MAKE GOOD USE OF MY MONEY, she told me that I could target a certain group to provide them with services. honestly I LOVE IT.
it got me excited enough to see what am lacking, and to see what am not. While am a creative type of soul, I do struggle a lot at the moment as I been working to survive and not working to grow my carreer. this si honestly awful, but so true. If you are not born in a golden spoon type of situation, you will have to push harder. Saying that, i want you to know that you can do this, and everything is possible.
Id on't have resources, period. however I'm pushing with what I can and what I have, i don't feel like a fool when am doing creative stuff but I do feel like a fool when am doing customer service dang I hate ppl honestly and a kind specifically but that's too controversial.
Anywas, I wanted to share how am literally starting a business lol, and so do you. Is ALL about the LITTLE things, belive me.
OF COURSE, i will appreciate all the support and clients you guys can provide me with jijiji but that will be for another post.
THANK YOU FOR READING < 3
Feb 12, 2025
Rec
my bestie got a puppy! is a lady and her name is sol del mar 😭 it fits her so well.
she was abandoned and thankfully she was rescued and now we get to love her.
she was abandoned and thankfully she was rescued and now we get to love her.
Jan 26, 2025