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I’m trying to pinpoint what is making me so uncomfortable about the discourse around modest dressing. The common thought is that modesty is an indicator of rising conservatism, but right now, I see the trends as a correlation that does not imply causation. A lot of the current modest silhouettes started in queer, leftist spaces. I remember the rise of “cottage core” around 2020 was largely led by lesbians. Women in flowy milkmaid dresses foraging for herbs and berries in a hazy forest. It felt like a movement reclaiming the femininity of mother nature after enduring so much masculine energy from the political onslaught being fed to us. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the menswear trend can also be attributed to queer women. It’s inherently liberal for a woman to wear men’s clothing.
Maybe it’s a case of intention vs impact. Or of Kristin Stewart vs Chanel.
I also have opinions on how this general rise in conservatism is a response to the constant overstimulation of American society. People are resorting to an “every man for themselves” rhetoric, sacrificing empathy for comfort. This has translated into the trad-wife idolization. What’s more comfortable than being a trophy wife. I understand that fashion reflects the political climate, so I see what’s happening. I only wish there was more nuance to the discussion. Modesty is not inherently red.
Maybe it’s a case of intention vs impact. Or of Kristin Stewart vs Chanel.
I also have opinions on how this general rise in conservatism is a response to the constant overstimulation of American society. People are resorting to an “every man for themselves” rhetoric, sacrificing empathy for comfort. This has translated into the trad-wife idolization. What’s more comfortable than being a trophy wife. I understand that fashion reflects the political climate, so I see what’s happening. I only wish there was more nuance to the discussion. Modesty is not inherently red.
Mar 17, 2025
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this is eloquently written and so correct.... also love the mention of kristen stewart vs chanel
@HAILEYD4WN no I love itttt I have struggled with wrapping my head around this a lot
Mar 17, 2025
@TATERHOLE same, it’s like every thought contradicts the one before it. I wish I had an iq of one million
Mar 17, 2025
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✝️Probably not. It depends on how you define sexual. I can’t really see the right’s engagement with sex as “sexual.” The idea that the right is getting more sexual than “us” plays into right-wing propaganda.
First, I’d caution against lumping a reality TV dating show and a sex worker with Donald Trump and Trad Wives. I do get your point, but the first two are not “highly conservative.” Love Island was more conservative this season, but that conservative ideology reflects dating patterns in the U.S. and the rise of Andrew Tate types. Bonnie Blue is a sex worker who built a brand off sexist fantasies. She’s a weird case.
I think it’s also important to recognize that we’re still in the midst of the #MeToo backlash. That backlash included Hollywood executives, advertisers, and cultural institutions starting to view sex as a liability. It also included prominent commentators, celebrities, and regular people who simply did not care to learn about consent because they viewed #MeToo as a threat to traditional gender roles and sex itself.
What you’re likely noticing on the right is the right getting more pronatalist and using sex to promote that pronatalist agenda. Pronatalism is not just the idea that having children is good for society— it’s a white supremacist and misogynistic ideology. It believes America is getting too ethnic, too multicultural, and un-Christian. American women are eschewing their god-given roles as mothers to work in office, go clubbing, eat hot chip, and blog.
Let’s say you’re a Right-winger. You want to encourage people to have babies and protect the ~ Judeo-Christian ~ foundations of our nation. Sex can help. Sex sells. But you still have to do that within the confines of your ideology.
The best example of this is probably the way Evie magazine, a Peter Thiel-backed magazine for Tradwives, talks about sex. Wear that sexy mommy milker dress you and get FUCKED, but ONLY if you are a good (white) Christian wife trying to BREED more good (white) CHRISTIAN children.
Evie Magazine and its ilk are against anything that doesn’t fit into this white supremacist conception of sex. They’re against porn, against clubbing in a mini skirt, against you lustful women, against the lascivious Gays, the polyamorous FREAKS. They’re also against consent, because your husband should have access to your body at all times.
And weirdly, they claim to be the ones having the most sex. The Best Sex. In fact, the left/liberals don’t know how to have sex, because 1) the point of sex is procreation, not exploring, not pleasure, and DEFINITELY not activating your wife’s WAP, God fucking forbid; and 2) you libs are simply too obsessed with consent to have sex. You’re the puritans now!
But is this true? No. lol. The most sexual people I know are lesbians. They’re people who’ve completely divorced themselves from male desire and heteronormativity. After that, the “most sexual person I know” is probably my bisexual male friend, who again, had to spend a lot of time unpacking heteronormative ideals about sex/gender.
But I do agree, conversations about sex are a little weird now, and conversations about sex in media are very weird right now. I don’t think that’s entirely because of #MeToo or the backlash against it.
When we use Social media, we’re flooded with strangers’ opinions about any given subject. You never know what kind of content that stranger might be consuming— it could be Jessie Ware or Tunes for Tradwives. Social media algorithms also reward half-baked and controversial takes, and it’s very easy to post a half-baked or controversial take about a sexual ad, hookup culture, or just dating in general. And what can I say, sex sells.
I would like to think/write more about this, but I need to go get sexier RIGHT NOW. I have to eschew my god-given role as a mother and go to the club after a long day of working in an office, eating hot chip, and half-baked blogging on PI.FYI.
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article dissecting the cultural messaging and changes in modern popular lingerie (from parade to victorias secret) and contrasting the 2010s corporate girlboss messaging with vibe shift of the 2020s:
"Eroticism is incongruous with sight. It’s all about hidden pleasures, mystery, masquerade, freedom, secrecy. Lingerie is not secret; it is a sexual offering, an altar made from visible blessings. True eroticism comes from what cannot be seen, predicted, sensed, or divined. Eroticism carries an essential risk. Lingerie has no risk. It is as plain as a donut.
It is in that, then, that we see other things bloom in quiet popularity: Brandy Melville pajamas; satin Comme Si boxer shorts; big t-shirts over panties; and, of course, women online lusting after Nicole Kidman’s Egyptian cotton pointelle tank top set from Eyes Wide Shut — a movie that came out 24 years ago, but still feels new in its approach to eroticism."
Feb 22, 2024
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🚺And choice feminism turned it into a matter of individuality rather than systemic issues, while also making it essentially forbidden to critique anything and positioning any criticism as an act of internalized misogyny. As a society we also take for granted the rights women gained (not even that long ago!), and dismiss the ways less privileged women are still exploited. And when feminism became associated with “sexual empowerment“ that ultimately serves the male gaze (ex free the nipple), we reinforced the societal value of beneficial sexism, and feminism had to be sexy. Pop feminism is no longer a materialist ideology. This has all led us to the current Evie Magazine right wing trad-wife backlash…
All of that is to say that I’m here 😜🫶 lol but I actually love Sara Petersen’s Substack and through her you can discover a lot of other really amazing writers
All of that is to say that I’m here 😜🫶 lol but I actually love Sara Petersen’s Substack and through her you can discover a lot of other really amazing writers
Jan 15, 2025
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I specifically made plans this year to be alone on my actual birthday. And it’s been so nice. The best in years, no tears! I got up early to walk around a wildflower garden, tried a new coffee shop. Read a lot. Thrifted. Sushi for dinner and a peach crepe for dessert. The only thing missing was that I never went and celebrated with my favorite paintings at the museum but I’ll have a belated party with them later. Happy birthday to me.
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