Rec
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Lived with the consequences of porn addiction for 10 years, itâs not fun, itâs not attractive, itâs not healthy. It fucks up your brain/dopamine receptors, alters the way you view woman and ultimately makes sex more of this perverted, transactional kind of thing instead of the sacred act that it is.
I feel like no one really speaks on it as much as it should be cause no one wants to be seen as a prude and face backlash, but itâs fuckin weird, itâs detrimental to your health both mentally and physically, and it shouldnât be normalized.
We shouldnât shame anyone thatâs going through it cause itâs such a common symptom, but we really gotta stop promoting that shit in the culture.
I found myself missing out on so much important development and so many vital memories in my adolescence cause I wasted my time on all that bullshit.
Whole generation of kids getting corrupted by that stuff, breaks my heart.
I found myself managing to come off it more and more by intentionally filling my plate and keeping myself more occupied, expressing myself more creatively, talking to new people (find a gf), and spending more time w/ my family.
Itâs not impossible to beat this shit, hope someone who needs to hear it knows the same.
I feel like no one really speaks on it as much as it should be cause no one wants to be seen as a prude and face backlash, but itâs fuckin weird, itâs detrimental to your health both mentally and physically, and it shouldnât be normalized.
We shouldnât shame anyone thatâs going through it cause itâs such a common symptom, but we really gotta stop promoting that shit in the culture.
I found myself missing out on so much important development and so many vital memories in my adolescence cause I wasted my time on all that bullshit.
Whole generation of kids getting corrupted by that stuff, breaks my heart.
I found myself managing to come off it more and more by intentionally filling my plate and keeping myself more occupied, expressing myself more creatively, talking to new people (find a gf), and spending more time w/ my family.
Itâs not impossible to beat this shit, hope someone who needs to hear it knows the same.
Mar 29, 2025
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âHave you ever sat in a railway station and watched people killing time? Do they not sit a little like crestfallen angels?â
- Henry Miller, Black Spring
Like many people here, I came to this site after deleting my social media profiles. One day, I had enough of the notifications, sensationalistic news posts, and all of the other mental intrusions with which we pay for our profiles. Ditto for dating apps, which I came to see as ecosystems fueled by people wearing each other down. The outcome wasnât deeper connections, but increased frustration and jadedness and, in turn, a continued clientĂšle for these apps. Antisocial media is corny to use nowadays, but, for all intents and purposes, thatâs the outcome.
Pretty soon, I felt the fear of missing out. Was I losing out on meeting people? What about what so-and-so was doing? I found myself feeling like I had time on my hands. I have a demanding job and plenty of side projects, but somehow the time I was carving away to doomscroll still felt like a loss to me.
I took the time I gained to get on top of my stuff. Iâve started finding moments of peace in running. My latest and most meaningful one was before my drawing class. I was at the office all day and didnât realize how warm it was. I was 30 minutes early and I sat at a cafe in front of the art school. I spent 30 minutes reading Henry Miller while sipping on an espresso. Maybe boredom is not something we should take for granted. Maybe those moments of boredom are where we are closest to being divine.
May 12, 2024
Rec
going celibate until I release my album (slated for July) â maybe Orgy release show? đ€
ok, so, I am currently on day 107 no boinking â this includes solo boink. this is the longest I have gone since the dawn of my extensive sensual history.
what I intended was to focus my creative horny energy into my music and other venturesâ and it has been all that and more.
the clarity through which I am engaging in my environment is unparalleled. no longer marred by my desire to squirt, I am venturing into the unknown corners of my cobwebbed mind and doing a spring cleaning.
I got a life changing job opportunity. album almost done. music video filmed. single submitted. friendships flourishing. gratitude and abundance abounds. breakthroughs in therapy. only flirted with one ex(the one I just canât, and may never, quit) but now found the restricted feature on insta dms and now if I want to send him a meme I have to check myself first.
truly the only thing that has disturbed my peace in this whole experience is the movie Dracula (1992)â which I will go into at a later date.
I will say that the Femcel experiment is not for everyoneâ but if you have relationship trauma which impedes your dating discernment, I recommend giving it a shot.
I have decided to further extend my celibacy until I can confidently understand what I want in a relationship, both from myself and for myself. but for now, I can confidently and simply say, I am looking for More.
once again, getting what I want requires great determination and fortitude, and I am willing to sacrifice whatever I need to, to give it to myself.
what I intended was to focus my creative horny energy into my music and other venturesâ and it has been all that and more.
the clarity through which I am engaging in my environment is unparalleled. no longer marred by my desire to squirt, I am venturing into the unknown corners of my cobwebbed mind and doing a spring cleaning.
I got a life changing job opportunity. album almost done. music video filmed. single submitted. friendships flourishing. gratitude and abundance abounds. breakthroughs in therapy. only flirted with one ex(the one I just canât, and may never, quit) but now found the restricted feature on insta dms and now if I want to send him a meme I have to check myself first.
truly the only thing that has disturbed my peace in this whole experience is the movie Dracula (1992)â which I will go into at a later date.
I will say that the Femcel experiment is not for everyoneâ but if you have relationship trauma which impedes your dating discernment, I recommend giving it a shot.
I have decided to further extend my celibacy until I can confidently understand what I want in a relationship, both from myself and for myself. but for now, I can confidently and simply say, I am looking for More.
once again, getting what I want requires great determination and fortitude, and I am willing to sacrifice whatever I need to, to give it to myself.
May 1, 2024
Rec
đI think this is the first year I ever decided to stay home for pride in the past 10 years. I usually go to the parade or at least an event. Ever since I moved back to NJ from The City, I haven't felt like going out as much. Maybe its proximity to The City (not as convenient) or maybe I'm just older now but it feels as though all the pomp and circumstance that made Pride weekend so fun and coveted are gone.
So, this year, I decided to stay home.
Initially, I felt bad for not wanting to go out. But, as the day went on, I wasn't upset about it. In staying home, I got a chance to reflect on how far we've come as a community and my own personal journey in making peace with my own sexuality.
I watched "All of Us Strangers" this afternoon. The story is really timely for me personally as it talks about similar themes to those I was reflecting on throughout the day. If you haven't seen the film, I recommend that too.
In it the lead character goes through these emotionally harrowing situations that explore the primary theme of queer loneliness. The film definitely brought up some feelings around the language that we used and the ignorance of others, but it also showed me a glimpse of both a dream and a nightmare.
I promise, I'm not going to spoil the film for you. I honestly don't think that I could even if I wanted to. That said, it did remind me of the times where I thought my sexuality was a contributor to my loneliness. And, to a certain extent, it was. But I don't think it to be the sole contributing factor. This has more to do with the broader implications of personage.
Beyond my queerness, there is blackness, there is masculinity, there is femininity, there is language and culture. All things that inform a relationship and relationships. There are habits and values that contribute to our overall individuality. I think that's a larger contributor to loneliness. We all have a list of non-negotiables. Those non-negotiables are symbols of our values and are the building blocks to finding alignment within a match. That said, it can become dangerous of some, if not most, when those non-negotiables are tied to unchanging aspects of a person's identity. Unfortunately, in our society, these are the exact non-negotiables the pervade our society. These ideals then become internalized for the individual which leads to loneliness. It is through the unlearning of these "preferences" and norms that then break down those walls of loneliness and allow us to let people in, be present, and open to something new. Loneliness is a feeling I think everyone can identify with but I think there is something very specific about queer loneliness. This stems from the dual phenomenon of being both an outsider and an active member of community. It's like being in a club for years and having no friends to show for it. I don't know if there's a remedy to the queer loneliness epidemic. What I do know is that is giving a name to things helps us to identify these personal issues and find a way forward. In the end, I've come to the conclusion that this way forward comes from radical self-acceptance. It's a practice that is easier said than done, admittedly, but it can be done.
I know for sure I'm not there yet but I keep trying. My first step? Staying home for Pride this year.
So, this year, I decided to stay home.
Initially, I felt bad for not wanting to go out. But, as the day went on, I wasn't upset about it. In staying home, I got a chance to reflect on how far we've come as a community and my own personal journey in making peace with my own sexuality.
I watched "All of Us Strangers" this afternoon. The story is really timely for me personally as it talks about similar themes to those I was reflecting on throughout the day. If you haven't seen the film, I recommend that too.
In it the lead character goes through these emotionally harrowing situations that explore the primary theme of queer loneliness. The film definitely brought up some feelings around the language that we used and the ignorance of others, but it also showed me a glimpse of both a dream and a nightmare.
I promise, I'm not going to spoil the film for you. I honestly don't think that I could even if I wanted to. That said, it did remind me of the times where I thought my sexuality was a contributor to my loneliness. And, to a certain extent, it was. But I don't think it to be the sole contributing factor. This has more to do with the broader implications of personage.
Beyond my queerness, there is blackness, there is masculinity, there is femininity, there is language and culture. All things that inform a relationship and relationships. There are habits and values that contribute to our overall individuality. I think that's a larger contributor to loneliness. We all have a list of non-negotiables. Those non-negotiables are symbols of our values and are the building blocks to finding alignment within a match. That said, it can become dangerous of some, if not most, when those non-negotiables are tied to unchanging aspects of a person's identity. Unfortunately, in our society, these are the exact non-negotiables the pervade our society. These ideals then become internalized for the individual which leads to loneliness. It is through the unlearning of these "preferences" and norms that then break down those walls of loneliness and allow us to let people in, be present, and open to something new. Loneliness is a feeling I think everyone can identify with but I think there is something very specific about queer loneliness. This stems from the dual phenomenon of being both an outsider and an active member of community. It's like being in a club for years and having no friends to show for it. I don't know if there's a remedy to the queer loneliness epidemic. What I do know is that is giving a name to things helps us to identify these personal issues and find a way forward. In the end, I've come to the conclusion that this way forward comes from radical self-acceptance. It's a practice that is easier said than done, admittedly, but it can be done.
I know for sure I'm not there yet but I keep trying. My first step? Staying home for Pride this year.
Jul 1, 2024
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I donât understand how yall end up at these random ass places you do, come across the books on ancient polyrhythmic science or whatever you read, listen to those indescribably niche tracks Iâve never heard of before or since, or host art installations from your makeshift garage, but I love hearing about every little bit of it, beyond fascinating to know all your stories and passions and the things that occupy ya mind and keep you alive. Itâs like a big canvas comprised of different jagged pieces that all add up to a whole.
Iâve only been on the app for two weeks or so and itâs already partly helped me heal from a lotta past grief and pain so Iâm grateful to interact with yall.
Iâve only been on the app for two weeks or so and itâs already partly helped me heal from a lotta past grief and pain so Iâm grateful to interact with yall.
Feb 25, 2025
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Itâs cool to learn new things, itâs cool to develop some new skills. Itâs cool to be able to access a whole bunch of data and knowledge at your fingertips.
Donât let some guy on a podcast become your father figure or give you financial advice or try to anoint you with another monolithic identity not too dissimilar from the one you vowed to leave behind.
Life doesnât get any better, but YOU do.
Donât let some guy on a podcast become your father figure or give you financial advice or try to anoint you with another monolithic identity not too dissimilar from the one you vowed to leave behind.
Life doesnât get any better, but YOU do.
Mar 1, 2025
Feb 23, 2025