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Thought i was getting somewhere, but had so little of what i know now

I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick. But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things. I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future. The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world. I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace. And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself. u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is. x

@chai

Jun 12, 2024

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I envy everyone

Life is fucking confusing, and every want comes with a doubt. As far as I can tell, your 20s (I’m 27) are about cobbling together a life while wondering if you should blow it all up. And then someday, hopefully, you fall in love with yourself (or something) and that love becomes a foundation for everything else. I know people who have built things up and torn them down, people who have made irrevocable choices, people who are coasting. I want all of their lives, sometimes, because I’m sick of the choices I made. I think that’s just fear of commitment, and not taking good care of myself—but who knows, maybe I’m about to make some choices for the plot. The people who seem to have it all figured out may be crumbling beneath the surface (me irl). The ones I trust the most know how to look around and say “there but for the grace of god go I.” You‘re never too old to let whatever you’ve been collecting slip through your fingers and choose again.

@bluz

Jul 11, 2024

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Reach out to yourself before anyone else.

It’s a good thing you have your own people, but your self discovery journey just started ! 21 yo Only means you are a “new born” in the adult life, be with yourself, know yourself, explore yourself, enjoy your own company. Nothing has to be meaningful but everything can be a “lesson”, live the present moment, don’t look back because it will be a waste of energy and TIME, don’t overthink the future because nothing is promised and you would only be stressed over NOTHING. To be “lost” is so normal, don’t be fooled by social media, some figure life out at the age of 50/60 even 70 !

@la9atate

Jan 25, 2025

Top Recs from @beadaboobie

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i do not trust women who are not at least a little angry

Rage is such an inherently feminine trait and living with the subtle jabs and taunts at your mere existence should be enough of a reason to feel that anger. A woman who isn't angry is either submissive of her mistreatment or apathetic, both of which are not qualities I would want in friendships. So this is a rule I abide by. I may not necessarily only befriend people who explicitly call themselves feminists but i trust angry women more. A girl who cannot stand up for herself wouldn't do a great job at defending her friends, I believe.

@beadaboobie

Mar 24, 2025

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hatred and true colours

Hearing a person talk about someone they hate is always an experience for me. If you validate their disdain for a person, they spew the most hateful things. I've seen the sweetest of people, fatshame, slutshame or talk about someone's parents with such spite. I mean there are people I hate with all my existence too, but where do you draw the line with your morals? Does such intense emotion really make people so blind, that they think its excusable since the other person is also terrible or do they just show their true colours?

@beadaboobie

Mar 26, 2025

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we should've aged backwards.

This might just be the mid life crisis speaking, but if we aged backwards would we enjoy our childhood, and our teenage more carelessly? After unlearning shame throughout our life, by the time we reach our mid 30s, we might present ourselves more authentically and also look our hottest.

@beadaboobie

Apr 2, 2025