The part of my brain that can see a stylish person and integrate that style is a black hole. As soon as I acknowledge said style, it vanishes into thin air until my unconscious decides to gift me with a gem of a very specific item that I just know will work for me and is what I need. Hard to know if this is nature vs. nurture, but at this point it is just my process. I know what I like when I see it, and I know what looks good on my body.
That being said, if I did have the capacity to adhere to a specific style it would be that of an old man living in the Irish countryside.
Apr 1, 2025
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comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
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god i could really write a whole essay on this
for context, i’m studying pattern cutting and have been really into/very specific about my clothes forever but have known fashion since maybe 15-16
because of how i fit into the clothes-scape my tastes cannot be separated from trends whether i like it or not. how i dress is rather on trend lately tbh
over the years my pants have gotten bigger as i grow more accustomed to the comfort of having less fabric on your body + the dynamism of a wide leg in the somewhat constrained silhouettes of menswear. also inextricable from wider pants just becoming more a part of the collective consciousness and thus my consciousness
my tops have gotten smaller & tighter as i've grown more confident and comfortable with my body. still love a baggy vintage tee when it’s warm though
maybe best way is to talk my fav clothes and why they’re my fav clothes:
- plasticana clogs. super california shoe but also like a half clog half loafer. i love heeled shoes i think they’re more elegant and just more smooth so i’ve worn loafers mostly for the last 6 years. these are like if those felt like sneakers to me. so easy so comfy
- fadepants cords. super baggy, so fucking comfortable. really dynamic shape with a lot of personality. they just feel right
- slim gildan tees. they remind me of the artist guy in Blow-Up and the way that guy looks reminds me of the energy we all used to have in the wood/metalshops at parsons, functional dress
- hanes beaters. so new york summer. also i love how they fit me they flatter my build
- oakley sunglasses. indestructible. ridiculous shape in a way i can own. michael jordan wore them in the 90’s and i love basketball & his game
- bandanas. remind me of home. remind me of my gay ass new york friends. a lot of them were from home too but i met them all in new york. funny how life works. they suit my hair well when i don’t feel like wearing a hat or i haven’t got time for a shower, and it’s very windy in stratford a hat might blow off
- 90’s vintage snapbacks. they fit over my hair that’s really the only reason
- our legacy borrowed bd shirt. it reminds me of the shirts my friend katie wears and those shirts are aggressively northern california. so is this one. and it’s just cute
- supreme leather collar work jacket. has all of the pockets, and the roundness/diesel type fit that a new yorker’s jacket would have. and that makes me happy. form + function
i think right now my style is in a pretty solid place of amalgamating the things that make me me, between upbringing, interests, places i’ve lived + the things i’ve taken from them, queerness, and my growing understanding of how all the things i wear are made. feeling really good about it all. want to figure out how to wear 90’s retro basketball sneakers though because they’re something i’ve loved forever and im a huge basketball fan but they’ve just never felt right when i tried them, except foamposites. personal style is a neverending pursuit if you’re doing it right
May 14, 2024
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my current style is an amalgamation of all that i’ve loved throughout the years of my style evolution and remains ever changing. in highschool, i loved casual and comfy streetwear looks. in college i dressed primarily in pastels and cutesy looks with the occasional dark, romantic element thrown in. i wore uniforms or had strict dress codes for work so i went all out at school since i felt comfy wearing things like classic or gothic lolita looks in the fine arts building. i also discovered mori kei (forest style, she became very important to me later) at this time.
fast forward to now and i’m majorly into the naturalistic and comfy approach. mori kei still has my heart, as i'm nothing but a creature of this earth. i love to juxtapose the masculine and feminine, such as a men’s flannel and a lacy dress. i still love a romantic or gothic element from time to time. as i’ve gotten older, ive began to value slower consumption habits, higher quality/durability and natural fibers. i shop nearly exclusively secondhand now so my style isn’t exactly based in trend.
again, it’s hard for me to give all this a name. i’ve been told artsy, eccentric and hippy-like but regardless i’m comfy and cute! oh, i can’t forget lots and lots of band tees! also no reds or yellows as i have severe yellow undertones and i’m not sure if jaundice-core is a thing yet.
May 5, 2024
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For some reason this brings me into my parasympathetic nervous system
Mar 28, 2025
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE 🌊
2d ago
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FINDING SOMEONE ANNOYING AND IMMEDIATELY REALIZING IT’S BECAUSE THEY REMIND YOU OF YOUR YOUNGER SELF
OH BROTHER THIS GUY actually needs a lot of empathy and understanding
Apr 2, 2025