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"Maybe you can be multiple things, and they can all be true". I just finished reading a letter that a friend of mine wrote. Unfortunately, as it stands right now, we aren't talking that often but we did send each other letters. I am so sentimental that sometimes I will miss dearly the feelings someone gave me, the emotions that coursed through my body as I talked to them. Not necessarily the person. It sucks sometimes because it's not something that you can easily find consolation for. These people I share sentimentality with were often not good for me, but there were times where they made me feel happy. My little two cents on this is: let yourself revel in the feeling, but also remind yourself of the people currently in your life who deeply love and care for you. Feelings hurt, but feelings are good.
Apr 11, 2025
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I’ve always had this fascination to emotion as a concept. Of course because everyone feels it every day of their life, but more of how encapsulating it can be. I watch films and hear stories and listen to songs and I come to find myself jealous?
Jealous of how pure and raw others experiences are. Why can’t I feel the agony of losing someone, why can’t I feel the devastation of a death, why can’t I lose a friend. It sounds so starkly idiotic because why would anyone want to feel such devastating things, and I’ve asked myself this a lot, part of me thinks it’ll draw more stories to tell in my life, but I think the truth of the matter is that to live is to feel. And I really want to live my life for all that it can bring me.
I write all this not to distract myself from the reality that I have in fact felt such great pain in my life. However, I always lust for more. This also feels like such a blatant explanation for my love of movies, I always feel so drawn into my love for film for it’s ability to snatch my mind away from my life and place it into another’s. My favourite films are those that have made me cry, because as painful as it is I just can’t help but love it. My favourite film is common knowledge but Call Me by Your Name draws me into such a chokehold each time I watch it because of the devastation I feel upon every watch. I never rewatch films but with it I can’t help it, because it always and forever will make me catatonic.
Anyways, I am leaving my point, my point is I am currently in a swarm of emotions from my own life and it is everything I have prayed and asked for while also not being it at all. I feel such an irresistible compulsion to break down and cry, and then I do, but I find myself listening to music and reading texts that only encourage and swell the emotional climax of these tears. In moments where I find myself urged to move on for the betterment of my day, all I can help but think about is someone I care so deeply for moving away. However, is it immature to want to move on? Why must I shun myself from these emotions. After all despite how painful it is, I find myself searching for this pain again and again.
Because to yearn is to be in pain, and to be in pain is to feel, and to feel is to live.
Mar 3, 2025
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Lately sadness has been visiting. We’ve talked about why they‘re around, and I understand. They can stay as long as they need.
I don’t need them to change, or leave. They’re with me while I’m making waffles with my son. They’re with us on our trip to the record store to buy a gift for my sister. I make space for them when it’s needed, otherwise they’re just another part of the gang. It’s not a problem to be solved. Their existence just requires an expansion of loving to wrap them in. Sadness deserves kindness and gentleness, too.
Jun 15, 2024
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Feelings are visitors- they come, we meet with them, they go.
Maybe a feeling is a guest for a while. Maybe we leave it in our inner home while we work, or play, knowing it’s there waiting. Then we meet with it again when we’re able.
It’s a delicate balance- on one end, stifling our feelings. The other, gripping onto them tightly to the point where we’re suffering. Ideally, we feel it to the point where there’s a natural emptying feeling.
I used to cling so tightly to my sadness, anger, grief. I wouldn’t let myself feel moments of joy, because I felt that would somehow take away from it. But when we are feeling those feelings so intensely, it’s actually imperative that we make space for Joy. Peace. Gratitude.
Sometimes we can’t do that- I don’t want to not acknowledge the very real experience of depression. I’m rather speaking to the many of us that are probably feeling a lot of hard feelings since the election. Make space for the things that feed your soul. Come back to what is right in front of you- the breeze on your skin, the falling of leaves, the creatures you love. Not all is lost. There is so much to fight for.
Nov 13, 2024
Top Recs from @isa-006
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Yea yea I know that's the most corny, most BORING answer but it's the truth. Today, my friends and I drove 30-45 mins just to go to wingstop. Why? Because we had never tried it before. It was a long endeavor, but now I will always have those memories with me. Don't be afraid to try things, especially the stupid little things; I find that those are the ones worth living for.
Apr 9, 2025
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I'm personally a very sentimental person, so, every so often I take a good look at my jewelry. You see, I am composed of everything that people have gifted me. From necklaces I have gifted myself, to rings my parents have bought me, to bracelets my ex has made me. Nonetheless, I like to remember each and every memory attached to these pieces of jewelry, they remind me of who I once was, how much I have grown. Here's to new beginnings, old endings-- and everything in between.
Apr 4, 2025
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I just left my 9:35 lecture feeling down and tired, to my utter surprise I see the MOST beautiful, mysterious lady standing outside the building. Smoking a cheeky cig. I LOVE IT. #icondonehotwomensmokingcigs
Mar 14, 2025