i am going on 11 years removed from 16 and i haven’t stopped to reflect and look back on it much until just now tbh. for one, im so much more articulate and patient. i also recently realized is its so much easier for me to not care about what people think. like i actually couldn’t care less how i look to others atp. my curiousity for the world has grown and i feel like im a part of something big even if i feel alone sometimes. a lot less insecure. but i also now am old enough to realize there really is no age range or time frame for these metrics at all. i’m sure in another 10 years i’ll have come to all new conclusions.
Apr 11, 2025
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maybe it’s just that i’m young enough that the novelty hasn’t worn off yet but i love becoming more of an adult every year.
as a teenager i was so terrified of not being one anymore but i love being in my twenties so far. so much of it is uncomfortable and there’s so much uncertainty and still! i wouldn’t go back ever ever ever.
being alive is weird and hard and probably always will be but being alive when you have no brain development or any concept of how to do ANYTHING is especially weird and hard. i enjoy being myself so much more now than i did when i was younger; i have more perspective to weather the uncertainty better, i’m so much less insecure and preoccupied with how i come off to other people, and if i want to change my behavior or my life i have so much more freedom to do it! and i’ll only get more conscious and more interesting as i get older! how fucking cool.
also as someone who really had to grow into my features it’s a nice bonus that i’ll probably only get hotter and have better skin over the next couple of decades. nice!
Feb 13, 2025
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idk even though there are so many more annoying external circumstances like not being on my family health insurance etc., having to fully support myself and deal with shitty landlords, my metabolism slowing down and weird health issues......... i feel so much stronger and cooler and mature and open to life as opposed to when i was in my early 20s. i feel more secure in my decision-making (not perfect) and stable in my skin. i was not granted the grace i deserved from myself or from others in my early 20s. maybe it's a capricorn and aquarius stellium thing too, but as i get older, i feel more discerning and stable.
Jul 3, 2024
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I came across some pictures of myself from a couple of years ago and have realized how much has changed. Like, not only do I look so much different, but SO much has changed in my life too ??? obviously my undergrad experience has been nowhere near perfect but I feel like I have grown so much over the past four years. Like… my 2023 self really did not know that things could be better than I could have imagined !!! Life is so beautiful !!!!!
Feb 20, 2025
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liking ur rec = saying hi when we go to get our morning papers from the end of our driveways (picture me doing so tony soprano style)
Aug 12, 2024
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she can’t see my bank account so it’s ok.
Mar 21, 2025
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started writing this a few hours ago when i first saw this ask, then decided against posting but i've since changed my mind. there really is no justification for it outside of entitlement. even from a selfish lens, there's no long term benefit to its usage. it harms the world and culture in more ways than one.
a.) the water and energy usage that isn't a secret at this point. "no ethical consumption under capitalism" yadda yadda and yeah corporations are extremely culpable in the state of the environment but there really is no need for chatgpt and the planet is already too delicate at the moment.
b.) the exploitation of workers in the global south. this program is not just a computer figuring it all out, there are in fact humans behind it. it reminds me of the acceptance of fast fashion and how people have the tendency to divorce the idea of the garment worker from the garment they wear when all clothing is handmade in some way, shape or form. you need hands to man a sewing machine, you need human eyes to moderate content. also, content moderation can be a thankless job with psychological repercussions.
c.) the erosion of social skills, humanity and media literacy...this one is very personal. like, you have a cushy email job but can't write an email? you need a computer and a worker in kenya to get paid a dollar an hour to figure out a daily routine for you? i've seen the program churn out blatantly incorrect information. fine tuning a prompt or chat or whatever to give you the exact (possibly incorrect) answer you need isn't really that much less work than sharpening your research skills by cracking open a dictionary or using boolean search keys in google. again, the main issue with this kind of stuff is the entitlement to convenience, with no thought towards the repercussions within and outside of us. we are losing major recipes (critical thinking and media literacy) here, people!
i probably did an iffy job are coherently articulating my thoughts here but i am in fact, human. and that’s the beauty of it all.
Oct 1, 2024