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maybe it’s just that i’m young enough that the novelty hasn’t worn off yet but i love becoming more of an adult every year.
as a teenager i was so terrified of not being one anymore but i love being in my twenties so far. so much of it is uncomfortable and there’s so much uncertainty and still! i wouldn’t go back ever ever ever.
being alive is weird and hard and probably always will be but being alive when you have no brain development or any concept of how to do ANYTHING is especially weird and hard. i enjoy being myself so much more now than i did when i was younger; i have more perspective to weather the uncertainty better, i’m so much less insecure and preoccupied with how i come off to other people, and if i want to change my behavior or my life i have so much more freedom to do it! and i’ll only get more conscious and more interesting as i get older! how fucking cool.
also as someone who really had to grow into my features it’s a nice bonus that i’ll probably only get hotter and have better skin over the next couple of decades. nice!
Feb 13, 2025
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sub-rec is finding role models that are older than you!! when i was younger i thought my life would be over when i turned 18 and then 20 and it‘s been so valuable to know people who show what life can look like at 22 and 25 and 30 and 42 and 60 and 80. personally or parasocially or whatever but v much recommend getting to know people at different ages to look up to
Feb 13, 2025
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16 years old was a weird time for me. it was the second time in my life I came out and being trans, and I have a huge memory gap right before the tail end of being 16. it's weird that I don't remember much of it anymore.
I think my biggest take away is that it hurts to let your perspectives change as you age, but you just have to let it happen if you want to grow. a lot of people you'll find in adulthood are stuck in mindsets and worldviews that form around their 20s, informed by things they vaguely remember as teens. not that there's anything wrong with it, just that I personally feel that the teenage years might be the most self aware time of your life, while simultaneously being carefree for some. life at 23 for me feels like constantly having to work backwards - why do I believe this? why do I have this bad habit? why am I struggling with this same thing over and over? I feel like you still struggle with that when you're 16, but in your 20s the layers on top of the problems begin to form. and you can't avoid them, nessecarily. it's just easier to figure out why you have certain habits and beliefs before time obscures them, even without the memory loss I have.
as you control your own life fully you find it harder to get out of more intricate ruts.
the reality is, that we don't know everything. 16 is a time in your life when people almost demand you start planning for your future. and there's nothing wrong with that, nessecarily. but nothing is future proof. we have to live with a grain of salt and not get too involved in things that hurt. that gets harder to do as you get older, get stuck repeating old patterns. but practicing introspection and curiousity in your late teens is a great way to keep that muscle up as you get older. because things will change - facts, ways of life, even your opportunities you have. it just pays to be humble but optimistic.
also everyone's lying being an adult is pretty cool. I might be biased but I love having autonomy and a life and being taken seriously and getting older. never thought I would have any of those things. taxes suck but it's once a year and we have TurboTax now who cares. working sucks the most but it's just like going to school. you plan life around that chunk of time. only as an adult it's super flexible what you want to do.
also things hurt more now than they used to already. I've started grandma-maxxing with cardigans and canes.
Apr 13, 2025
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This could change when I hit 40 (lmao), but the older I get, the more confident I know who I am. I feel more and more sure of myself, and less and less concerned with how others view me.
My life is my own, and comparing it to other's is a disservice to myself and the path I'm now on.
Do I still experience guilt, regrets, doubt? Of course I do.
Do I know what I'm doing with my life? I might have less of a clue than I did in my twenties.
Do I still feel like a weird little freak, like I did in my teens? Hell yeah, some stuff just never changes.
I still enjoy things I loved as a child, like video games, Pokemon, stuffed animals, and giggling.
I still enjoy things I loved as a teen, like pop punk music, being annoying, and singing whenever the mood strikes.
I still enjoy things I loved in college, like dancing enthusiastically, writing amateurish poetry, and crushing on women who will never, ever be into me.
But now I'm just...30. More health issues. More scars. More silvery hairs that sparkle in the sun like some vampiric trope made real.
But also...more memories that sweeten with time. More time spent in awe and revelry. More reveling in the beauty of nature. More of my own innate nature revealed to me as I sit with myself more, alone.
I feel thirty, flirty, and thriving. I also feel as a child, as a teen, as a drunken young adult, bumbling around without knowing if what I'm doing is right.
I'm just doing my best. That's all you really can do; embrace how you are now, and how you are tomorrow, and again, and again, and again.
May 13, 2024
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i am going on 11 years removed from 16 and i haven’t stopped to reflect and look back on it much until just now tbh. for one, im so much more articulate and patient. i also recently realized is its so much easier for me to not care about what people think. like i actually couldn’t care less how i look to others atp. my curiousity for the world has grown and i feel like im a part of something big even if i feel alone sometimes. a lot less insecure. but i also now am old enough to realize there really is no age range or time frame for these metrics at all. i’m sure in another 10 years i’ll have come to all new conclusions.
Apr 11, 2025
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it’s beyond worth the effort. it feels so good to love people well :)
Mar 3, 2025
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if the text requires more than 3 sentences it’s a voice memo! the efficiency of just getting to speak! the intimacy of sending your voice and the process of gathering your thoughts in real time! the presence of tone and vocal inflection! i actually aspire to only ever communicate via phone calls and voice memos. texting is such a menace in my life.
Mar 21, 2025
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i think it’s so sweet. whatever sway i do or don’t have over the fates i’m offering it to you!
Mar 5, 2025