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embracing the change

being in my 20s and already having grey hairs was something that, funnily enough, i accepted with far better grace than everyone else around me. loads of people who catch a glimpse of them ask me if i want them to pluck them out and tell me that i should dye my hair, but whether it's genetic or just stress (probably the latter)— i’m quite fond of my grey hairs! so they shall stay on my head no matter what <3 

@vampire

Jan 6, 2025

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Going grey

I started going grey young. I first noticed when I was 21, under the harsh lights of my then-boyfriend’s bathroom mirror. Cue the crisis. (me, practically shrieking: “did you notice this? Why didn’t you tell me?!”; him: “i thought it was cute!” A sweet man.) My hair is very dark brown and my skin is very pale and most of my life I’ve relied on this for aesthetic purposes without really thinking twice. now I had to confront the reality that this would be leaving me, possibly soon. I had a couple years where I could manage the few hairs on their own, and contemplate the future. Did I want to start dyeing my hair? I thought of my own mother, who had to dye her own dark hair bi weekly or the roots would show, and who ultimately had to go from brown to red to blonde when she wanted to stop dyeing her hair altogether. I thought of my grandfather, who had a full head of gorgeous silver hair by the time he was 35. I bleached my hair blonde. It was vanity to dwell on this, absolutely, but I’ve always been a bit vain. And im also under the influence of a society that values youth to an extraordinary degree, except when it doesn’t. I was working as a paralegal at the time, where I used my legal first name instead of the potentially diminutive or cutesy name I go by with my friends and family. Still, I had clients and opposing counsel question my knowledge. How much of this was because I was a young-looking young woman? Outside of work, Desirability, too, played a part. i wish I could divest from it, but I’m also attached to it. I want attraction and desire to be reciprocated, and I also have intuited that they are a way to be Visible. how many times have I heard older women describe the bizarre feeling of turning invisible as they age? Whether they found it freeing or isolating, or a mix of both, it is an immense paradigm shift. I don’t want to fear it but I do. Time passed. The hair bleach messed with my scalp. Covid hit and I grew my roots out, then dyed the whole thing brown. The last time I’ve dyed my hair. It continues to come in silver, and it’s now noticeable at first or second glance— not salt and pepper yet, but certainly on its way. I get comments on it, usually compliments, usually from people who aren’t men. A friend asked me if I had gotten highlights. my grandmother said neutrally, “you’re letting your grey hair come in.” I worry about my skin, that vestige of youth that I haven’t had to confront just yet. Around me, many women I respect dye their hair, get botox, get lip filler, many don’t. I see other people out and about with grey or greying hair, and I am heartened by them, especially other women and femmes. letting our bodies do what our bodies are meant to do.

@lynnnnie

Nov 7, 2024

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Finding a hair that is your normal color and turning grey on the same strand

bc i’m thankful for aging but i’ll be damned if it sneaks up on me 👀 gonna face my mortality in REAL TIME tyvm

@thickrimmedgirl

Mar 16, 2024

Top Recs from @florinegrassenhopper

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Analog sunday

No screen Sundays. If I want to listen to music its CDs or radio. If I want to watch a movie, no I don’t. If I want to see a friend, I will make plans with them on Friday or Saturday to meet up. As a result, I read more, write more, and sit with questions like “did Citizen Kane‘s 50 year winning streak in the Sight and Sound critics choice survey end in 2012 or 2022? When did Stephen Merritt come out? Whats the etymology of Whitsun?“ This is something that I have practiced off and on for many years but I’ve been doing it every week since December and I love the way that it just allows me one day of true freedom and rest.

@florinegrassenhopper

Jan 22, 2025

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One star reviews of parks

@florinegrassenhopper

Mar 3, 2025

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Writing down the things that bring you joy

My calendar this year has 52 of these week at a glance pages but I don’t think that way. So, I've been inspired by Ross Gay’s Book of Delighs to start recording the little moments and sensations that bring me joy throughout the day. An analog pi.fyi, if you will. heres some of what I have so far: - Waking up to the sound of my upstairs neighbor‘s footstep. It sounded nostalgic. Felt like company. - Strawberry jam - feeling tender for strangers: their lips, nail colors, their small wrists. Thinking of all the lives we hold gently. - A young girl bought an LP at the bookstore just before I left. She stroked its cover with love - Green tiles —the mint shade always makes me think of Jancie - Charlie’s little bop and punch dancing to some German language punk - lunch with Katherine, curry Brussels sprouts - small talk at the photo studio. The photographer's brother was named after their dad, stole his identity, bought jet skis.

@florinegrassenhopper

Jan 13, 2025