I smoked for the first time when I was 15, and was smoking pretty much daily by the time I was 16. While I do give it some credit for helping me get out of my abusive relationship at the time (It made me realize that I actually wanted to have fun and live my life), It was very much a substitute for any actual proccessing, healing, or coping. It gave me a false sense of inner peace. It gave me a false sense of outer peace as well, because I was so avoidant of any kind of conflict.
I quit because I’d experienced trauma and it began to put me into really scary experiences where I wasn’t quite sure if I was losing my mind or not. I quit when I also quit drinking, which was almost 13 years ago now.
Weed is the only substance I ever miss. Sometimes I wish I could just dabble a little bit and throw on some Planet Earth, but it is always so apparent that when I am craving it I am also very stressed out. If engaging with all of my other healthy coping skills works, then I didn’t actually need it in the first place.
I sometimes wonder if when I’m old, I’ll fuck around with it again because at that point, why not?
Apr 16, 2025
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Me and miss mary jane go way back, a solid decade atp, and it’s crazy to think how different my relationship with her is now. I actually just got a memory notification from the time I was pretty physically dependent on her. I for sure used weed as a crutch through some really tough periods of grief and trauma in my late teens and early twenties.
I didn’t plan it this way, but when I quit nicotine last year I also kinda quit weed. I refused to let dependency form again when quitting nicotine as I had previously struggled to fall asleep without weed. So when I cut nic, I cut all inhalants. And haven’t really picked them back up again with the exception of a literal handful of joint hits in the last 10 months.
Another big part of that for me was how well I could breathe again. I don't think I was nearly both as active and at rest as I am now that I don’t really partake as much anymore. I recently took an edible with a friend and just felt anxious. Safe to say I think that chapter of my life is closing, not that it was a bad chapter, just a different one. I’ve replaced my old habits with new ones, I’ve been quad skating a lot more, creating more, reading more. Things I never felt motivated to do when I was high all the time. Things that do take the edge off of life and stress in a new way that feels more gratifying for me than weed ever did.
Apr 17, 2025
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I started smoking weed as a young high schooler who had been craving drugs most of my youth, out of curiosity, wanting to fit in, wanting to quiet voices, and when it did all the things i wanted it to do i leaned on it for years. Clung to it. But, after going cold turkey on my antidepressants due to being sick of them, weed was my friend. She helped me calm, regulate, laugh, she reminded me to eat, and best of all share with people i loved. I don’t need anything to do that anymore (Shout out frontal lobe development) and due to being broke in college, i smoke significantly less, and now only when i want to, not because i need to. which is nice! addiction sucks bawwwllsss and my sprint away from who i used to be with substances has slowed into a nice jog.
Feb 18, 2025
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I used to have a lot of shame around smoking, and have had controlling boyfriends in the past who wouldn’t let me do it lmao, so that definitely tainted my relationship with it for many years. I took about a ten (10!) year break from it from my teens to late 20s, and I started back up again casually a few years ago and now I love it. I do have to be careful I’m not using it as a crutch, and if I ever feel like I am getting carried away, I take a T break. I feel grateful my mind and body have a positive response to it for the most part, as long as I keep to my limits and listen to how I am feeling. I also had a pretty invasive surgery a couple years ago and it really helped with my healing, because I really wanted to stay away from the prescription painkillers. It has helped me process a lot of internalized feelings, and it helps me connect with myself creatively and makes mundane tasks like cleaning feel like a powerful ritual! All that said, I am mostly a loner stoner, and enjoy getting stöned alone or with very close friends that I know I can be myself around.
Apr 16, 2025
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For some reason this brings me into my parasympathetic nervous system
Mar 28, 2025
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE 🌊
1d ago
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FINDING SOMEONE ANNOYING AND IMMEDIATELY REALIZING IT’S BECAUSE THEY REMIND YOU OF YOUR YOUNGER SELF
OH BROTHER THIS GUY actually needs a lot of empathy and understanding
Apr 2, 2025