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have a long weekend and wanted to be my most productive self by continuing reading the karamazov brothers but i wasted half my day doing nothing and have to go for a party tonight so i am feeling guilty. ive just found it tough to stick to strict schedules lately, i know what i have to do in a day and end up doing it all but at my own relaxed pace and it just takes longer. i personally dont mind it, cause i could read tomorrow and the day after too, but i feel societal norms of early risers and grinders make me feel bad about my lifestyle
Apr 19, 2025

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i feel like this past week being back at uni and being like actually busy during the day again has given me sort of less time to be casually alone with my thoughts instead of it all just piling up to when im about to sleep
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not taking on additional work or tasks. not working ahead. not having to be productive. a strange break in my schedule has given me a lot of free-time this week, and i have grown to value being bored sometimes more than always having to conquer some aspect of my life. yeah yeah everything is good in moderation but if i want to watch a 50 part tiktok series of some woman talking about her husband instead of doing a project 2 weeks early let me!!!!
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too much reading and workshop has more or less kept me away from the internet for like a week and I kinda enjoyed the space to write and go to museums and explore the city? would I scale back? maybe, but it was almost liberating
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