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Despite being the person who pushes people away, I always have a good enough reason. I so strongly believe your circle defines who you are before it was packaged as a self love affirmation. It seemed very obvious as a concept. Anyways, I had a huge group of friends and cut of all but 2 because of a silly fight which had nothing to do with me since I've always believed in quality over quantity. But this decision proved to be so wrong when the two who are dating btw, became druggies and really shitty friends. So much so that my mom warned me about them. I have now opened my eyes and really understood the depth of how much I blindly trusted them and how they fucked my life over. Maybe they meant it, maybe they didn't but I am so not gonna stick around to find out. I am a leaver. Bye bye bitch. I just can't believe I let it get to this point. Sorta disappointed how I am not as adult as I thought I was.

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I just don't think all friends are forever. I used to think every friend was worth investing in and fighting for to keep around for as long as possible, but it's becoming clear to me that it isn't always the case. Sometimes life situations change, or personalities change, or even the things you had in common with someone changes, and suddenly it's not the same. And that's okay. Other times it's the realization of self-growth and improvement that shifts you from friendships. I had one friend that I used to love to...well, gossip with. And at some point that desire to gossip dissipated from my life (for obvious reasons) and that friendship didn't seem that attractive anymore since it wasn't what I wanted to do. I remember when we felt the drift happen, it was so awkward for a bit but I genuinely feel like whenever we connected it would just become...toxic. And it wasn't like they made me worse; we both made each other worse. The idea of 'I have to leave them, they are bringing me down' is BS - it's a two way street buddy. They made me want to gossip / I made them want to gossip. You have to own your part in it. IDK! I just think at 30, there are people I though I'd be close to today that I am not close to at all and although I might miss them, I fully understand that I'm better and healthier and more sane because of that distance. IDK. I'm caffeinated rn. And in my feels. And Bon Iver isn't making it better!!!
Sep 25, 2024
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I was a little over 5 years younger, and it wasn’t a conscious decision at the time, but looking back now I realised that the relationship was holding me down from growing and reaching my full potential as my own person. I didn’t have many friends at the time, had no voice or thoughts of my own, nor was I able to actually do the things I got around to doing/am finally getting around to doing after it ended (Little things like going clubbing/partying, and getting facial piercings and tattoos). Conclusion: The longevity of a relationship with another person is not always the best indicator for the quality of it.
Oct 21, 2024
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I discovered that the most important thing when it comes to realising that someone is not a great friend for you (not because they necessarily did you wrong, even though it happens) is when you actually start not liking yourself when you are with them/around them. You don’t recognise who you are because you’re putting up a facade just to please them and not be judged by them… I think it’s an awful thing to do to yourself. A great thing, if having an honest conversation with the person doesn’t work, might be boundaries, and slowly distancing yourself. Sometimes people grow apart, and that’s ok.
Sep 19, 2024

Top Recs from @beadaboobie

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Rage is such an inherently feminine trait and living with the subtle jabs and taunts at your mere existence should be enough of a reason to feel that anger. A woman who isn't angry is either submissive of her mistreatment or apathetic, both of which are not qualities I would want in friendships. So this is a rule I abide by. I may not necessarily only befriend people who explicitly call themselves feminists but i trust angry women more. A girl who cannot stand up for herself wouldn't do a great job at defending her friends, I believe.
Mar 24, 2025
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How was I so much smarter at 16? I lived in my own little bubble and rejected everything else that made me feel worthless. I stood up for myself more times than I can count. 20 means nothing. I am more confused than ever. I don't know why I take decisions. I fail at everything I do. I constantly search for what I once was.
Mar 29, 2025
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Hearing a person talk about someone they hate is always an experience for me. If you validate their disdain for a person, they spew the most hateful things. I've seen the sweetest of people, fatshame, slutshame or talk about someone's parents with such spite. I mean there are people I hate with all my existence too, but where do you draw the line with your morals? Does such intense emotion really make people so blind, that they think its excusable since the other person is also terrible or do they just show their true colours?
Mar 26, 2025