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Coming to terms with something I call “productivity addiction,” I don’t think there are any parts of my life that aren’t oriented toward some form of emotional/physical/creative betterment. Even my hobbies and interests are becoming increasingly rooted in ideas of “success” and “growth.”
It’s catching up to me. I need Real Leisure and I need it now. I want to have fun again. Time to undo some knots.
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There’s a term I learned that I have found very useful- insight junkies. It is when a person in therapy seeks more and more insight, but never actually heals or transforms any of it. This can be kind of an issue is straight talk therapy- okay we’ve identified the issue, now what?
When you clean out a wound, you need to stop messing with it in order for it to heal. It needs to have some air to breathe. That’s never going to happen if you keep picking at it.
Try things on. Get playful. Make mistakes. TAKE ACTION! Change is not supposed to be easy or comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it can’t also be fun and exciting.
Feb 14, 2025
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I have to be doing something with my hands or have an activity planned for myself outside of work, I am rarely just chilling by myself with my own thoughts (I call friends and family so much which is a strength but sometimes it’s just to talk and exhaust myself)
Trying to be better at savoring moments and not rushing through things but it’s physically uncomfortable for me to just do nothing sometimes
Jul 18, 2024
đź©ą
i have been home from uni for a while over christmas break. i think about this often but i genuinely believe that uni has allowed me to grow so much as a person, to find the parts of myself that i really needed, and to understand the importance of connecting with others. and it is lovely to go home and be able to see my familiar environments in a new light based on things i have experienced at uni. but it does hurt me how easy it still is, despite all this, for me to fall back into my old habits when i am at home; being unproductive, doom scrolling, the way i can actively feel myself wasting time. i am aware that these are things that negatively impact my mood, and yet i still find myself caught up in them. i wish i understood why i do this. maybe it is the fact that i was working so hard at uni and i have simply crashed here. i have come to understand the concept of taking a real break fairly recently. but i feel as though a break should be healing. and i just wish i could read, or post on here, do things that i know will inspire me as default, instead of reverting to actions that make me feel worse. i believe i can get to that point, every day is a new day and a new chance to live it the way i want to. i am doing my best. maybe my mind is at conflict with itself; it needs a break, but also needs to feel productive, so it does neither. i am working on finding the balance. everything is a work in progress.
Dec 28, 2024
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Apr 14, 2025
The vines are consuming fire hydrants and power lines and stop signs and every gust of wind is filling the air with a delicious magnificent jasmine scent and I feel delirious and reborn and glad to be alive
!!!
Take a walk, take a whiff :-)
Apr 8, 2025
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This is something that I started doing last year and they are now fundamentally important to me.
A dessert walk is an after dinner stroll you take ideally during sunset. You walk to a grocery store and buy a sweet treat or piece of fruit and a fun beverage. For me usually a peach and a kombucha. You walk for a bit as the sun sets and return when your treats are consumed.
A delicious end to your evening that helps you digest.
Feb 22, 2025