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this might be pessimistic, but i think i’ve finally learned this lesson…
if you can recognize icky behavior in other people and leave at that first sign, you will have significantly more stable, meaningful relationships of any kind.
do not rationalize their poor behavior and give them the benefit of the doubt. move on.
i wish i started doing this sooner.
Related Recs
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What you allow in your life (ie poor behavior, bigotry, inconsideration, etc.),
you‘re subconsciously saying this behavior is ok. I know, I know. ”But what does it say about me if I am not accepting of others?”
In the grand scheme, you’re saying “I’m ok with people treating those I care about like shit.“
This is a hard one to learn. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, that same benefit of the doubt is enabling flat out shitty people to keep being shitty people.
So what do you do? You want to make sure everyone feels cared for? Start with yourself. The next time that one friend who says everything that’s on their mind hurts your feelings, tell them. watch How they react. Watch if they do it again. And decide from there. Because at the end of the day, you aren‘t obligated to keep people in your life, whatever the reason.
Jan 29, 2025
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Depends on the intensity of the situation, of course. But protect your peace at all costs. People are intelligent and know when they hurt people, even if it’s just a residual guilt. If they “need to explain their side,“ nine times out of ten they will gaslight you. Trust your gut and don’t fall for mediocrity.
Jan 18, 2024
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save your energy! telling people how you want to be treated won‘t make them change. if they don’t learn it for themselves by experiencing it, they’re likely to keep doing it.
May 16, 2024
Top Recs from @chronicwebuser
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@TYLER
please let us be free from the commodification of the data generated from our social, whimsical, and sincere, free expression
the sincerity of this app is because it’s different from those other apps :/ why do we need metrics on how we socialize? 😮💨😮💨
i’m curious as much as i am sad about the decision to make the star count visible. is that what its proper name is? or are we calling it likes? 👀
3d ago
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i've been seeing piffies posting about, and I myself, have experienced The Yearn.
i've sat with my feelings about relationships through many seasons. i was with someone for 10 yrs, we got engaged, i broke it off. although he was an incredible person, he was not my soulmate. i've had a few relationships since then and have felt The Yearn.
after being dumped this weekend i have some thoughts to ask myself when looking at dating / The Yearn.
1 -- are you seeking connection or attention?
2 -- is your relationship an excuse for you to not work on other parts of yourself you know you need to take time to face?
3 -- how are your friendships? do you have people behind you that will see you through any season? keep those people around FOREVER. maybe marry them instead.... lmao 😳
4 -- have you dated yourself? was it full of joy and love?
5 -- can you (within reason - we can NOT exist and heal with out each other) meet your own needs and care for yourself?
6 -- how honest are you with yourself? you'll only ever be able to be that honest with other people, no matter the relationship.
7 -- are you just trying to follow a story arc that you *think* you *should* follow? see link: relationship escalator
my goals right now are to build up a family of people that will be with me forever! it's not a ton of people but it's enough! if i find a "soulmate" or "love of my life" along the way then like... nice 😃👍 but like that's not my GOAL. if you are young and reading this, i wish i knew in my 20s (am 31) what i am writing in this post. i g2g tho ~ ily, be well!
Mar 17, 2025
5d ago