did this last night - what. a. rush.
how many movies? 3. how many youtube videos? now we're talking - too many to even imagine. it wasn't just a rabbit hole - it was the whole goddamn burrow. made 2 new playlists. braided my hair and did a face mask. two words; free will.
feeling closer to my 13 year old self than ever
the only conseqence? tiredness, but alas my friends, i find myself saying i'm tired every day - may as well be tired from something fun!
Sleeping through the sunrise at a park after a night out, wearing your party dress, a cardigan draped over your face, clutching onto your kitten heels and oversized bag as the world awakens from its slumber.
I change my appearance multiple times a year. I cut my hair and dye it. I try new styles. I get tattoos and piercings. I try new food. I do things for ME. I want to find my true self and interests and each day I get closer to who I really want to be. I feel I learn something new about myself everyday even if itโs small. (Iโm depressed + anxious too and it can be so hard but I remind myself that I canโt care about everyone else and their opinions I need to do what is right for me. and no it is not selfish to do things for you).
Warning pointless rant to the internet void:
Ever since moving to college I donโt have my friends I did in highschool that mattered so much to me. It has been really hard to find people who want to actually stick with me through everything, do things with me, and hear what I have to say. I honestly always feel like a last resort here. Everyone will casually cancel plans or flake or ghost and Iโm tired of it.