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I saw a series on tt that goes "Things that make me want to be healthy that have nothing to do with men or wanting to be beautiful". It's one of the most relevant and beautiful things the algorithm has blessed me with recently. I've been thinking about starting a light weight loss fitness journey but I couldn't find it in me to go through with it because a) working out sucks, and b) I don't even know WHY I want to do it. I don't want to feed old attitudes and mentalities that motivated me to be "healthier" in a way when I was younger but absolutely butchered my relationship with my body. *Shrugging girl emoji
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Yes!! So glad someone else is practicing this as well! What I find helps me in discovering my “why” is asking myself “what will this do for me?” My “why” currently is that I want to go on hikes with friends and explore cities for longer so walking more helps me reach my goal and is a healthy addition to my lifestyle. I also have reframed what exercise looks like for me. It could be a dance class, walking in the city, going to a community pool, it doesn’t have to be a gym and weights. Exercise should look like moving your body, not suffering. You’re not alone in discovering what you health looks like without centering beauty and men :)
2d ago
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and focusing instead on making reasonably healthy, self-compassionate, consistent choices and moving your body in ways that make you feel good.
We’re assaulted with numbers, data, and metrics everywhere else in life why let it creep into your relationship with food and your body!!! It takes time and practice to do this right and find balance without descending into total uninhibited hedonism but it can be freeing to live this way. Controversial perhaps…
Apr 30, 2024
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but I fear that maybe you should not be trying to lose weight as a goal itself. Maybe you could shift your goal instead to something achievable and concrete that will help set healthy habits but won’t leave you dwelling on your weight? I like trying to be strong enough to do a thing I presently cannot do. (I can do push ups now, baybeee!!)
I have been working on healing my relationship to food and my body for over 10 years now and I still cannot healthily set a weight loss goal. My strategy is to literally never think about my weight, eat whatever I want, move my body every day, and cook at home often. I’m stronger, happier, and healthier than I have ever been in my life and all I have sacrificed is a little negative self talk (n I don’t miss her at all).
Godspeed, good luck, wishing you health and happiness and wholeness !!!
Jul 10, 2024
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TW: weight n overeating mentions
Sorry everyone!! I guess I am on a streak of being a debbie downer rn. It just kind of feels like the walls are caving in on me but doesn't everyone feel like that????? I am just feeling super crazy and over-reactive recently. Here is the run down of my situation right now: I am nineteen years old, currently on winter break for community college, I live with family, I'm still working on my license. I just have feel so trapped recently, most likely because I don't have my license (fml). I haven't seen most of my friends in a month (which feels very weird, not blaming anyone for this. people get busy & tired, I understand.)
Living with family sucks! but it's weird, my parents support me financially and i know they care for me but I think I am just too emotional for the people I live with. I kind of learned to not really speak about emotional matters, not in like a, my parents were abusive kind of way, but I could just tell that wasn't really what my parents were there for. I sought out emotional connections with friends and stuff but I have been kind of going through a weird period right now where I am trying to not rely on them so much and regulate by myself i guess? idk.
ANYWAYS, LETS GET DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY! What is the reasoning of my crashout? wellllll, my mother has been becoming increasingly critical of my looks again. I've always had a skin-picking and overeating problem. The result of this? so. many. facial scars. and also being extremely overweight for how ever long I could remember. (from the handful of times I've been to therapy, I was told these are probably compulsions to sooth anxiety? idk. I need to go to more sessions). Over the years, I have learned to accept myself and how I look. Through this acceptance, I have also been working on these issues. Unfortunately, my mom hasn't accepted this part of me. My mom and I have been spending a loootttttt of time together recently because she's teaching me how to drive and I have just been home alone with her more. I've come to a realization that looks mean a lot to her, (it's not her fault honestly, Filipino beauty standards are unfortunately super brutal).
So, throughout my life, shes always had me drinking weird supplements and trying different gimicky products to either lighten my skin or have me shed a couple pounds, surprisingly, none of them ever worked! We've had our fair share of fights about my appearances and whatnot, it stopped affecting me. Buttt, like I said before, I'm in this weird period of my life right now where I am trying to heal and whatever and be at least a little self sufficient (this is every nineteen year old girl of me, I know). So I'm doing my skincare daily now, trying to eat my fruits and veggies, do chores, move my body, the whole shebang if you will. but old habits die hard, and from time to time I'm caught picking at my skin, or holy shit why am i changing what i eat???? and yeah. Family is nice till they tease you about how you're trying to change for good and for some reason it is FUCKING EMBARRASSING! My mom asked me when I was gonna lose weight the other day. It was so random and out of the blue that it caught me completely off guard and really fucking got to me. After she said that I got quiet, and she said "It's okay. I don't care anyways." But like why the fuck would you say that??? She knows I've had a past with my weight and my eating habits. Like why the fuck would you say that to me?? I cried for hours that night. I even cried about it the days after. Then today, I was out with my sister and we were getting takeout for dinner tonight, I called my mom to see what she wanted, she told me what she wanted but she doesn't know the name of it so i got her a completely different thing. and she was like "i'll just cook something its okay. you'll eat it later" and I told her no, I just ate dinner I am not eating anything else tonight, and she just went "Ohh really? Ok good. You're trying to get skinny. That's good." GOD. FUCKING. DAMN IT!!!! My sister tried to tell her off "Mommmm, don't say that." but she just kept going, "What? Why not? How is that bad. Why is it bad she's trying to lose weight." I kind of shut down and started putting stuff away. I threw out the trash and just couldn't stop crying outside so I just stormed off into my room because the waterworks were unfortunately starting for the night. It was made worse by the fact that I could hear her talking to my sister about me. I know it's for the better that I am not so emotionally cold anymore but god, I just wish I could tough out the comments still.
But that's the end of this post, I'll post something less edgy and less sad soon I promise!!!!!
Jan 9, 2025
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It's so crazy of me to even consider this as I haven't worked a single paying job in a year. I had a breakdown of sorts which led to me quitting school and stopping work. My parents were super supportive but perhaps not anymore. I want to move out now and have my own space. I don't want to wait for my life to "get in line" for me to try stuff and do things. Like moving out! But everything is so expensive in Addis and I would need at least about 5 months worth of monthly salaries to even consider moving out.
2d ago
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It had me thinking uncouth? thoughts. For sure it was a sexually stimulatig film but the extent to which the makers decided to push it is astounding to me. It had me thinking about knowing where to draw the line in cases of severe infatuation and/or sexually charged relationships/affairs. As a person who wants to explore her sexuality to its deepest end, but is also a little emotionally avoidant and is easily weirded out by intimacy, films such as ITRTS make me feel like there is some level of compulsion or obsessiveness? that I haven't quite felt with the men I've been with. In my head I be having the filthiest thoughts but rarely does it translate to the bedroom.
2d ago
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I recently switched over to a Nokia 2780 and I feel better but I crave the scroll! I am trying to remain strong and believe that this will be good for me.
So far I have found benefitted from reading way more (read the entirety of Eve Babitz Sex and Rage on Sunday), being far less anxious about the state of the world, and listening to the albums I own and remembering songs that mean so much to me.
But I am in a moment of weakness. A moment of doubt. Help. Tell me it will be worth it.
3d ago
