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Growing apart is noT your fault (most OF the time)

People change people grow apart and that’s ok. As someone with a lack of emotions permanence it’s already hard for me to recognize that people care about me unless I’m reminded 25/8 and while I’ve worked on that and can now remind myself that people care for me; it’s somehow even harder for me to realize when that it’s ok if people are growing apart from me. It’s inevitable. People growing apart from you is not a personal failure sometimes it’s just HAPPENS. Schedules change, distance change, levels of concern change, and that’s ok. I remember shortly after highschool ended a girl tried to poke fun at me for the fact that i “change” friends often (I have several 6+ year friendships but that’s besides the point LOL) but the truth is that I’ve always known when to let friends go and do their own thing. All of that is to say that life moves forward your circles change and you’re wasting time that you could be using to build stronger/new connections on things that have passed their course.

@Doll

Mar 13, 2025

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reconsidering friendships as you get older

I just don't think all friends are forever. I used to think every friend was worth investing in and fighting for to keep around for as long as possible, but it's becoming clear to me that it isn't always the case. Sometimes life situations change, or personalities change, or even the things you had in common with someone changes, and suddenly it's not the same. And that's okay. Other times it's the realization of self-growth and improvement that shifts you from friendships. I had one friend that I used to love to...well, gossip with. And at some point that desire to gossip dissipated from my life (for obvious reasons) and that friendship didn't seem that attractive anymore since it wasn't what I wanted to do. I remember when we felt the drift happen, it was so awkward for a bit but I genuinely feel like whenever we connected it would just become...toxic. And it wasn't like they made me worse; we both made each other worse. The idea of 'I have to leave them, they are bringing me down' is BS - it's a two way street buddy. They made me want to gossip / I made them want to gossip. You have to own your part in it. IDK! I just think at 30, there are people I though I'd be close to today that I am not close to at all and although I might miss them, I fully understand that I'm better and healthier and more sane because of that distance. IDK. I'm caffeinated rn. And in my feels. And Bon Iver isn't making it better!!!

@marianoleonczik

Sep 25, 2024

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Not feeling guilt about drifting apart

I’ve had sprinkles of acquaintances and light friendships with people over the years that I sometimes feel bad about losing touch with. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone and still have time to care for yourself and your core people. I’ve tried to stop apologizing for that and just try to let people know I appreciate them from afar. I feel like the older I get the more intentional I have to be with my time and the more healthy boundaries I need to keep. It may disappoint some, but true friends get it, and there will always be an ebb and a flow as life changes. I also feel like social media has wired us to be so hyper-connected all the time and it’s stressful to live up to the expectation of staying in constant communication with everyone you’ve met and liked. Growing up is realizing you can like and enjoy the company of many people and you may not have the time or energy to extend to everyone you want. (And actually it’s also okay not to want to!) Not everything and every connection can stay the same and I need to constantly remind myself of that. I deserve to make space and time for myself so I can love my people better.

@linfo

Mar 4, 2025

Top Recs from @st4teofgrace

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i got my dream job

i'm gonna break the news to everyone this weekend but i need to tell someone right now - i passed the selection process for a one year internship at my local library with the highest score !!! it will be my first job and i felt so bad and out of place in every job interview i've ever had except for this one, the people there were so lovely and were genuinely interested in me and my interests. i can't believe it, i'm so excited i could cry :'))

@st4teofgrace

2d ago

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happy international women’s day

in italy we give women little mimosa flowers bouquets to celebrate so here’s a virtual one for all of you i love you!

@st4teofgrace

Mar 8, 2025

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being the person you wanted to become as a child

i used to look up to my friends’ older siblings and think wow i can’t wait to become as cool as them one day. then when i became a teen and i was so shy and cared too much about what others thought of me and the rise of social media didn’t help at all. but now i think back at the little diva i was and she would want me to feel confident, to be unique and happy and to keep being kind to others. her opinion is the only one that matters to me now

@st4teofgrace

Feb 8, 2025