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Not feeling guilt about drifting apart

I’ve had sprinkles of acquaintances and light friendships with people over the years that I sometimes feel bad about losing touch with. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone and still have time to care for yourself and your core people. I’ve tried to stop apologizing for that and just try to let people know I appreciate them from afar. I feel like the older I get the more intentional I have to be with my time and the more healthy boundaries I need to keep. It may disappoint some, but true friends get it, and there will always be an ebb and a flow as life changes. I also feel like social media has wired us to be so hyper-connected all the time and it’s stressful to live up to the expectation of staying in constant communication with everyone you’ve met and liked. Growing up is realizing you can like and enjoy the company of many people and you may not have the time or energy to extend to everyone you want. (And actually it’s also okay not to want to!) Not everything and every connection can stay the same and I need to constantly remind myself of that. I deserve to make space and time for myself so I can love my people better.

@linfo

Mar 4, 2025

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reconsidering friendships as you get older

I just don't think all friends are forever. I used to think every friend was worth investing in and fighting for to keep around for as long as possible, but it's becoming clear to me that it isn't always the case. Sometimes life situations change, or personalities change, or even the things you had in common with someone changes, and suddenly it's not the same. And that's okay. Other times it's the realization of self-growth and improvement that shifts you from friendships. I had one friend that I used to love to...well, gossip with. And at some point that desire to gossip dissipated from my life (for obvious reasons) and that friendship didn't seem that attractive anymore since it wasn't what I wanted to do. I remember when we felt the drift happen, it was so awkward for a bit but I genuinely feel like whenever we connected it would just become...toxic. And it wasn't like they made me worse; we both made each other worse. The idea of 'I have to leave them, they are bringing me down' is BS - it's a two way street buddy. They made me want to gossip / I made them want to gossip. You have to own your part in it. IDK! I just think at 30, there are people I though I'd be close to today that I am not close to at all and although I might miss them, I fully understand that I'm better and healthier and more sane because of that distance. IDK. I'm caffeinated rn. And in my feels. And Bon Iver isn't making it better!!!

@marianoleonczik

Sep 25, 2024

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Letting go old friends if they dont actively respect your path

It’s very hard to do, yet, we don’t need friends that lasted for fucking years and yet, still second guess your decisions. We can always make new friends. And most importantly, we can still love people that aren’t in our lives anymore.

@ab_lass

Feb 14, 2024

Top Recs from @Doll

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BEING "NORMAL" IS KILLING YOU

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL. Stop trying to be something that you are not, stop trying to be copy-paste <insert substyle that you do not even really like you just don't know who you are if you are not following a trend> for the longest time, I had no identity, I didn't know who I was outside of micro-trends and what was popping off on the internet. I wanted so badly to be normal that everything I tried was slowly but surely killing my spirit. People are clay. We are covered in little fingerprints, little specks of dust, and pieces of lint. No one person is without these things. Normalcy implies that there is a standard, uniform way to mold clay. You can never be normal, and that is so beautiful that's what makes life so worth it. I tried so long to figure out the "normal" way to live life that I missed out on so many things my teenage years are over, and they flew past me. I spent so long trying to be a normal teenager that I forgot that the most important part of this age is trying to figure out who you are by yourself through your actions, through your memories, and through the people around you, not by following what is normal. I will never be normal, and I am so grateful, I will always be ME. My spirit will be unique. My mind will remain creative. I will never be normal, and I don't want to be.

@Doll

Feb 22, 2025

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NO one is coming to save you but they will support you

Often people feel alone when they hear "no one is coming to save you" and yeah it's true, I was the only one who could save myself from the path I was going down, BUT everyone around me supported my growth, everyone who loved me showed me the same love before AND after I had changed. No one will save you but they're right beside you <3

@Doll

Feb 23, 2025

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Use the 20 minute rule

I made this up in like 10 minutes but this has been my thought process as an "ex" introvert Should I Stay or Leave? A Decision Flowchart for Introverts Am I feeling unsafe? Yes → Is it because I’m anxious, or is it a genuinely unsafe situation?If anxious/new: Wait 20 minutes to see if I acclimate.If still feeling unsafe after 20 minutes → Leave. No → Move to the next step. Am I feeling bored? Yes → Can I find something interesting here?Yes → Engage with that.No → Suggest a more interesting activity.Did they change the activity?Yes → Stay and reassess.No → Stay for 20 more minutes.Still bored? → Leave. No → Move to the next step. Am I feeling uncomfortable? Yes → Is it a normal level of discomfort?Yes → Give it 20 minutes and reassess.No → Leave. No → Stay. A reminder: Many people say, "Get comfortable being uncomfortable," but society often acts like being an introvert is a flaw, as if no normal person could be one. While it's good to challenge yourself, forcing yourself into situations that make you feel awful or completely uninterested isn’t good for your mental health. Uncomfortable situations can help you grow, but if something makes you truly miserable, you should remove yourself. The best way to step out of your comfort zone is to understand why you’re introverted. I grew up introverted because I wasn’t allowed to do much, but pushing myself outside my comfort zone helped me explore my personality. However, if you’re naturally introverted, there’s no reason to force change. Instead, I recommend using a system to decide when to stay in a situation and when to leave—like a simple flowchart to guide your choices.

@Doll

Feb 22, 2025