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🧩

hello and the best i can give

im not quite sure who exactly i am and i think its an impossible question for any individual to truly answer but ill do my best. i’m not gonna give my name bc choc_orange does the job but i’m 20 years old and 5”8/9. i have long brown hair and dark eyes, im a pisces and the youngest of 5. I was raised on a small holding with lots of animals; donkeys, sheep, ducks, chickens, a horse, dogs and a cat. i went to an all girls school in a city and didn’t do well socially but always had a few friends. i love to sew and have done casually since i was about 4 years old. i struggle with feeling cripplingly lonely pretty much all the time. i love national trust homes and gardens and am contemplating a membership. i’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend and im pretty insecure about it, people usually assume there’s something wrong with you when you tell them (which maybe there is!??) i’m a bartender and don’t yet know what my career plan is which scares me. i have chronic fatigue/ ME i love Love LOVE walking i have an extremely terrible fear i’m romantically unloveable. also my sister is my best friend and im pretty sure we were a delayed split egg or something (dont tell me this is biologically impossible)

@choc_orange

Mar 1, 2025

🦀

Hi, I'm ashley :-)

I'm 28 (soon to be 29) and think 29 is a stupid birthday. I kind of wish I could skip straight to 30. I'm a Cancer, and I cry a lot when I'm sad or happy or angry (possibly related to being a Cancer, depending on what you believe). I was born in a small town in Illinois, but have lived in San Antonio, TX, for most of my life. I am the older sister of one brother. My best friend Kari and I met when we were 11, and I love her dearly! I work in marketing at a public garden and mostly design for print (I am passionate about editorial design). I also love to write and studied writing in college. Chronically online. Weird question: Who remembers Gaia Online? Lol. I'm living on my own for the first time in my life! It's strange. Sometimes, I feel like this is how it was always meant to be, but I also crave the village! What can I say? I love people. I read a lot. I love to laugh. I'm obsessed with my dog Ruby. I go to a lot of concerts and shows. I love to cook. I rollerskate all the time. My favorite color is orange. I'm also doing a no spend year (ask me about it)! Chronic over thinker, but I'm working on it. Errmmmm, yeah I guess that's the basics? I don't know.

@olaftheswede

4d ago

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life gets clearer and never stops being messy

mirabelle! congratulations on making it to 16, having an undeveloped brain and going through puberty kinda blows. so i'm proud of you for surviving what might be the weirdest time in your life for self perception, relationships (of any kind), and mood, lols. i'm 31 now. i'll be 32 this year so i'm twice your age! i could really like go AWFF and give you the full run down of my life story but perhaps i'll save that for another post. i actually read this book when i was a teenager called Einstein's Dreams. it's about all these different realities where time behaves differently, it's really cool. it made me think a lot about the future! speaking of Eisntein, time is relative. so each year that passes, goes faster than the one before. 1 year of your life when you're 10 is 1/10 of your life. as you get older that fraction gets smaller and smaller and smaller. sometimes a year feels like 6 months. it's wild. i also recommend you read "4,000 weeks time management for mortals" it's not really about time management, it's about changing your perspective so you can live a life! one thing about life that will always be true no matter what age you are is that it's always going to be messy. you can have your shit together and shit can still go awry. it's how you pick yourself up from that mess and move forward that determines the next phase/step and ultimately the rest of your life! so your frontal lobe does not develop until your 25. your frontal lobe is responsible for basically making sure that you can move through life with a rational mind. at some point you should google "what is the frontal lobe responsible for" and then give yourself hella grace if you are struggling in some of those areas. i low key wish we didn't go to college until we were 25. you are still SO young in your 20s. i still feel like i'm 27. when i turned 25, it was like the fog cleared and suddenly i felt calm. i wasn't so angry (still angry but just less angry) as i was when i was much younger. i had a lot to be angry about, my therapist can confirm this. now this doesn't happen to everyone... but because i'd SEEN some shit when i was younger i have a very different perspective on relationships and the world in general. i dated a really kind, generous, giving man for 10 years from 20-30. when i turned 25 i started really questioning if i should stay in this relationship. he never gave me a huge reason to leave, it was comfortable, safe, and familiar. so i stayed. when i turned 27 things really started to shift. i learned how to properly feed myself so i didn't feel like shit all the time and so my body wouldn't break down and stop working. again, i'd seen and been through some shit as a kid. when my mood improved, i was able to really grow into myself. i started to become the person i dreamed of becoming when i was 8, 9, or 10. i wish i had had the chance to become that person as a teenager, but life doesn't always work like that. and age is dumb and life is (hopefully) long! also if anyone tries to date you that is significantly older than you before you turn 30, RUN. i realized that most of my decisions i made in my late teens into my 20s were done because (a) i was living in survival mode and (b) i was doing what i thought i "should" be doing. as a women and a child of shitty parents, i never learned to put myself first. i never learned how to live for joy, i never learned how to listen to my heart, mind, body, and SOUL. i started to realize i had to leave this relationship because i wasn't happy. and that was enough of a reason and arguably the most important. now i'm rebuilding my life. but, i'm trying to be the person that when i'm 60 (god willing), i'll look back and say thank you for taking care of me and this body and also fuck yeah that's a fucking life!!! those two outcomes don't have to be mutually exclusive. also adults don't know shit. some adults do and some adults DON'T. some adults never mature beyond middle school. i wish i was kidding. i teach middle school science so i work with kids and parents, i am a reliable source on this. learn how to identify the adults that know what they're talking about and are mature and the ones that don't. my advice to you as a yung cherub, if i may, is (1) find your passions and try to make a life out of those passions. or find a job that let's you pay the bills + still follow your passions on the side. this will keep you going. (2) LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. there is a wisdom so ancient within us. it KNOWS. listen to it, nurture it, thank it. (3) make as many friends as possible. close ones, acquaintances, party friends, friends you can vent to, friends you can go on walks with, friends you can pick up right where you left off even if you haven't seen them in years. there's this saying that stuck with me -- "we're all just walking each other home" maintaining friendships is the secret sauce that makes life so delicious. the people you keep in your heart are like the stars that light the sky as we walk each other home (corny alert). also connections RULE and can help you get to where you want to go in life! all the rest of it is pretty meaningless. 🤷🏻‍♀️ so yeah that's about it! i am wishing you an awesome rest of your LIFE!!!! also if you peak in high school and college that's a fucking loooooooong time to be on the decline. stay weird. be different. do you. and love big!

@chronicwebuser

Apr 12, 2025

Top Recs from @timtam

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badminton

such a fun sport even though i lowkey suck at it

@timtam

Apr 23, 2025

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EXAGGERATING when talking to kids

it’s just so fun being extra and going crazy when interacting with them and always brings about a laugh which is so fun

@timtam

Mar 22, 2025

🛒

PUSHED AROUND IN A TROLLEY AT NIGHT

SO MUCH FUNNN this is what brothers are for

@timtam

Apr 12, 2025