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A few days ago, I had the beautiful opportunity of having a short animated film I made screened at a festival. I felt so happy, like my whole body was smiling. I was deeply moved to reconnect with several artists from around the world.
I want to fulfill dreams. I want to be kind. I want to inspire and express myself. I want to look back and thank myself for believing I could create beautiful things.
I don’t want to lose this feeling of wanting to dream.
I’m afraid my soul might disintegrate in my 9-hour-a-day job in a grey office.
I’m afraid of fear itself, or of being affected by things that don’t belong to me.
I want to keep believing there’s something more.
May 7, 2025
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been feeling v compelled lately to practice self-respect in the form of dedicating time and energy into honing my creative skills despite the loathsome grind of my 8 - 5 job.
i spent a lot of time and money and emotional energy to get the job i have now and i don't hate what i do but i do know that there's more to all of this beautiful life than playing it safe and getting sucked into a monotonous cycle.
loving and respecting myself means devoting myself to my higher aspirations. deep down i know my soul glows brightest when i create and i'm seen thru that work.
i'm on a ferocious pursuit to brighten that glow every day and i hope you are too if you feel that same impulse.
Feb 13, 2024
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alright, this is not like anything i’ve posted before, but with it being Easter and all, it’s on my mind!
i’ve had a complicated relationship with religion for the majority of my life. i was raised in the bible belt, so i found myself in a church pew, singing hymns and listening to a southern old man preach for an hour almost every sunday morning from the time i was a toddler.
that being said, i wrestled with the idea of God quite a bit - i saw and experienced the hypocrisy and hurt within the church - i think i almost tried to get rid of Him; if being with Him meant i was grouped in with these people, i needed to get away. however, i then realized he would not leave me. he was knocking at my door; he’d always been there, and he always would be. he didn’t shame, scold, or abandon me like i expected because of the people that surrounded me. in my most painful moments, i found myself crying out to him - i decided to finally go, “sure, let’s see what you’ve got”. i believe that to be one of the best things i’ve ever done for myself. time and time again, i’ve started to worry about how a certain situation might go, gone “ok, you take this one”, and it has worked out more beautifully than it ever would’ve had i tried to handle it on my own. even better are the times that something has landed in my lap that i could’ve never imagined would. sometimes, i go back and look at the little moments in my life that have gotten me to where i am now, and i think, “wow, God was there.”
and you know, maybe it is all coincidence and all of these are just the little wonders of life, but i find it quite amazing and comforting to believe that there is a being of the highest power (whatever or whoever that may be for you) that loves you and genuinely wants the best for you. i think believing in something is simply a human trait; it’s a healthy thing for us to do. sometimes you need to hand your anxieties over to the universe. sometimes you see the sun hit something in just the right way, hear a certain song, or notice how perfectly the human body is built to hug or hold hands, and you’re smacked in the face with the thought that there must be a creator. our souls should not have to feel that they are alone and bound to this earth and that’s it. it gives us something to strive to be like and live for.
having the freedom to believe in what we want to is such a beautiful thing, whether you choose to have faith in something or not. i think this is something i could go on about for much longer, so i’m going to try and stop it here. there is so much wonder and whimsy in believing in something, and i think it’s worth exploring. i’m not even sure if there’s an actual point to all of this, but that’s it. that’s the rec!
Apr 20, 2025
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this comment is late asf but hi cool person... its a little silly but ever since i was literally in like . 5th grade i kept going "i wanna work at Nintendo and be a concept artist for zelda"! I said it so straightforward and matter of fact. I guess I left an impression on the tutors and teachers around me who constantly heard me talking about my dreams and goals for after elementary school when I was still in elementary, and even me talking about what college I wanted to go to when I was still in middle school. In sixth grade I sent a fan letter to the supposed "address" of Shigeru Miyamoto that I had just looked up on Google and instead got a letter back from "Nintendo of America Fan Mail" or "Customer Services" or something and I was so upset like "THIS ISN'T FROM JAPAN!" LOL
of course Nintendo today isn't what it used to be; doesn't have the same... charm it had when I was a kid and decided I wanted to work there, if you know what I'm talking about. And my dream has... evolved... or changed a lot. But it's still hardcore in the same vein. I want to be an animator. It's been... wow, almost 6 years ago since I fell in love with animation. Like, I've always loved WATCHING animations, but now it's that chill when you see an animation you KNOW is good; some tasty asf key frames, unique timing, smears, respect for animators who gave a certain scene such care... I be like "mmm those inbetweens are tasty asf respect to the animator who actually did all'at" and people will be like "wtf" lmao 💀 Like sorry I'm congratulatimg non PowerPoint animation!! Wait sorry Im going on a rant. Anyways. I still wanna work WITH Nintendo on a Zelda game someday, FOR SURE. Because it was Zelda that inspired me to work professionally as an artist as early as elementary school and I never lost that drive. I also love animating too and am trying to make all of these aspirations happen in a SCARILY cutthroat industry, especially with the recent rise of AI and streaming service popularity - animators have always been stupidly treated as "disposable" and it's getting worse than ever now. I graduated community college with a 2 year degree in animation this past summer (yay!) but after transferring to a hardcore 4 year animation program across the country, and especially after this semester, I have realized the horrifying truth, and experienced it myself that the "industry" is a world where the weak get CULLED, and early on. Even your personality can and will get you culled.
Still, I push on
To quote myself as a kid all those years ago: "If I have to work every day of my life as an adult (which I am now) then the only way I could stand it is if my job is doing what I love!" So, even if people tell me to give up, I won't, for better or worse. It makes me look stupid, and I often wonder: "Why keep going?" But the thing that gets me is imagining what life would look like IF I gave up. What I'd be doing, where I'd be instead. And it's a horrific, unsavory, dreadful scene. So I'll keep going, and it's those dreams that have kept me motivated for so, so long. I know this comment was also. Incredibly long. But actually, thanks for giving me a place to talk about it, since I've been going through a hard time right now... It was great to get it all out. Um... Blessings be with you, slay! :D
Dec 14, 2024
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May 21, 2025
I, I won't say no, I'll give it a go
Oh, I won't say no, I'll give it a
Shot for the spot at the top, a girl like mе
Would you believe I'm in Los Angеles?
May 7, 2025
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmWorNSJfqo
May 26, 2025