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i pray that you understand that I am not weak when I cry
but finally taking back what was always mine
my smile
how the songs, scents, and sunsets remind me of you
because you all have one thing in common, only things to enjoy not keep
I’m sorry if was blind to that before, so let me show you that I can see that now by letting you be free..
May 10, 2025
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On one hand: it just flows. You can't get enough of them. Your eyes, their eyes—could be the only thing that matters in the whole world. Their voice hits you like electricity. When alone, you wonder why you aren't with them. Mundane things, at their side, become adventures. You occupy your own universe that is a secret from all others.
And on the other hand: it is a labor. Your beloved, who stirs and ignites your affection so much, is also the one who most exposes your pride and weaknesses. As you dive into them and truly know them, you discover they are broken and selfish and human. And they discover that about you. The easy slide down the snowy hill of excitement becomes a long drag back up the other side.
But then the two of you put those parts together: combine the thrill and the sparkle with the messiness and the suffering. Your together love becomes something deeper and more enduring. You say: I see you fully but I choose you still, with all my heart and soul.
It becomes something that will withstand any storms that may come, something more mature and tested:
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." —Antoine de Saint-Exupery:
Mar 1, 2025
love can heal a broken heart, anger will only tear it wider.
very hard mode on life. i felt cheated by my relationship so long but the only way to finally feel just and given back, was to be truthful, which was that i am made of love. I am able to bring love in more places than i can always recieve. And that that in itself is beautiful and worth celebrating.
here are the corners of my duvet, which have hearts so i know which corners match
Jun 25, 2024
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drunkenly tapping my phone against the knuckles of the person across me and they start aimlessly playing along, turning the position of their hands while i tap, tap, tap
i feel like our souls were stripped bare and my unfettered existence was not only seen, but accompanied.
play with my soul with the innocence of fawn.
and now i know what to look for.
6d ago
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sometimes we mistake feeling alone with being lonely .
home is where the heart is, and
if you feel lost then you should look for yourself.
find out what makes you tick then you’ll never feel alone because you always have yourself.
Apr 6, 2025
I’m having trouble telling devotion from sacrifice.
I remember you told me loving me was like going to church.
Maybe that’s why every time I go it feels like you’re there.
I keep trying to find the meaning of all the things we talked about while smoking cigarettes.
Sometimes I’ll go through a pack just trying to decipher what was said.
“You make me more poetic“
Is still the one I have yet to solve and maybe that’s a good thing because, your smile to your lips have all returned to you.
But the moments our souls shared I’ll never sacrifice..
Apr 8, 2025
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I still throw my cigarette butts in the driveway.
They remind me of the stars we used to gaze at.
So maybe it’s not so much that I can’t throw them away as much as it is just liking having them close to home..
Apr 7, 2025