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EXCLUSIVELY MUSIC THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS

Ironically the year anew has me reflecting on the past like im somehow gonna scrounge up a couple bucks in change if i would just look hard enough… I need to surrender to life and it’s tendency to continue . Little music as of late has been guiding me through this endeavor, I feel sentenced to nothing but what I’ve always known . A prison of my own making! Just the same old songs and the same old albums and the same old me . How do I alleviate stagnancy when it’s possessing my very being.  I need new music. And I quit smoking and gave up the whole quitting thing after a month. God have mercy..

@mommyslilstinker

Apr 19, 2025

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human sadness & i want to be well

i value repetition & loudness (volume & atmosphere) for my meltdown music . both of these songs (by julian casablancas & the voidz + sufjan stevens) have almost meditative flows that you can tap into especially when listening loud & on repeat , building until they are all encompassing . the heavy distorted riff in sadness & the mantra of i want to be well (i‘m not fucking around!) have been steady accompaniments to many of my meltdowns , spiritual & otherwise . tbt to scream/crying i want to be well in the car on calgary highways 🤘🥲

@seiji

Aug 18, 2024

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Cypherpunk

I caught a cold earlier this week and decided to ignore its subtle, yet deleterious and lingering effects on my body. On the fourth day (yesterday), after high-intensity training and taking two capsules of psilocybin, I decided to drive to the local café to put in some more work. I’d been listening to this song all day—my head was rolling. If there was ever a moment that I’d felt closer to damnation, it was when I walked into the building and wished for complete annihilation. This isn’t anything new—I’ve experienced these episodes on and off since I was a child. But something about this particular bout made me realize I should be grateful, judge less, and have mercy. I called loved ones to tell them how sorry I was for words I’d said and actions I committed that may have hurt them—almost as a final act of salvation before my ultimate oblivion. I met Lucifer at the bleeding edge, shrieked into the void—with one last gesture of love, forgiveness, and meaning—and anchored myself back to earth. — This song is something potent!

@estmcmxci

Apr 25, 2025

Top Recs from @xXD-e-l-i-oXx

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i think ive seen this before

i watch youtube videos, tiktoks, instagram reels ill read books, poems, quotes ill listen to music, plays, audio dramas it's never anything new sure i've never heard you say that that way but i heard it before the seemingly meaningless ramblings of the other psychward paitents have more meaning and insight if you actually think about what they're saying maybe thats why i was there i collect books. seeing provides more insight and causes me to think more than actually reading it would i look at a book and in a second the whole story meanings themes and resolutions are there i read it and its gone oh its the same structure and lines from that one book i read at 5 but with different paint nothing new or challenging. my friend M loves DC. we buy comics together, he tells me about the movies, shows and stories. i dont read them. i know ill be disappointed. another 'ive read this before' 'i know that already' often i can tell him the ending of the movie before the second act and half the time im right. i've been trying to show him that most things are the same. very few are different. God says theres nothing new under the sun. maybe he's right why can't i enjoy these things. my friends find so much enjoyment in this. they dont see it. no one i know does. maybe their scared. why i try to explain to them that this story is the same as that. they look scared. is that why i'm crazy? why did i have to notice that? why did i have to notice i think i know why i've probably seen it before.

@xXD-e-l-i-oXx

May 15, 2025