1. Open a high yield savings account and dedicate a certain amount of your income to it, or do something like all of your cashback from credit cards goes into it. Even if itâs not a lot, forget about it and maybe one day it could help you out in a pinch.
2. Learn to be comfortable being by yourself if you arenât already. Donât wait for others, go out to eat by yourself, go to museums or concerts by yourself, sometimes you meet cool people or just have the best time by yourself or with a book and some great food.
3. When youâre feeling down, find the things that you still have to be grateful for, even if itâs just the ability to go on a walk and breathe in clean air.
4. Pay attention to your friendsâ reactions and advice when youâre doing good and when youâre doing bad. Sometimes their insecurities and jealousy will influence how they react and the advice they give you.
5. Donât get a high maintenance animal early in your adult life if you havenât already. This is the time to try to travel, even if itâs a budget trip to a new city or state. Itâs so much more difficult when youâve got dogs especially, unless itâs well trained and comfortable with other people or you can afford boarding. Travel first!!! Experience things!
6. Learn to cook if you donât already know how! I have way too many friends who are grown adults and âdonât cookâ or donât know how. Itâll really help deepen your appreciation for food if youâre a foodie as well. I also happen to love feeding other people so my coworkers/neighbors benefit from my cooking lol.
7. Donât be embarrassed. I like to tell myself when Iâm in public âyouâll never see these people againâ or âno one will remember this in a year, five years, etc.â if I feel like Iâve done something to be embarrassed about. Itâs definitely helped erase embarrassment about normal, human interactions that sometimes seem drastic just because itâs our selves in the situation, when really no one is going to care if you stumble over words or drop something loudly in public, etc.
8. Last one: Learn to keep going. Youâre not always going to be on top of the world, youâre going to have down days, or even weeks or months. Things will go wrong, your heart might get broken, it canât always be amazing and sometimes itâs hard to see what we have going on thatâs good. Itâs going to be so important to remember that even though itâs annoying to hear, things do get better. They do start to hurt less with time. You can change the direction your life is going at any time.
Also, happy belated birthday.
May 15, 2025
Related Recs
đŚ
I've almost been in my 30's for 5 years and I've loved it. There's something about it that has been deepening and richening. I focus more on what matters to me, and cultive how I want my life to look. My 20's was wild and chaotic and a lot of hard inner and outer work. I still work hard, but I'm reaping the benefits of it a bit more now. I'm busy yet relaxed. I feel like I did the hard work earlier that I'm now really benefiting from.
When I turned 30 I wrote out 30+ lessons that I learned. I never shared it at the time because it felt egotistical lol, but it's actually pretty good so I'll share it here! Aging is a gift!! Embrace your fully formed brain. You'll always be changing and growing, but you're entering this beautiful space where you're still young and can relate to young folks, but you have enough experience to relate to older folks too. It's a blast!
Mossy Elfie's Hard Earned Lessons from her 20's
1. Laughter is truly the best medicine. KEEP PLAYING!
2. Express love to those you love as often as possible.
3. Learning to communicate effectively is the greatest tool you can have.
4. Being upfront about how you feel may lead to getting hurt, but will 100% benefit you in the long run.
5. There are lessons in every experience. This doesnât excuse trauma, but can help heal it.
6. Sometimes when a therapist or someone you love calls you out on your shit, you can feel itâs untrue because it actually is, or because youâre being defensive. Learn how to discern between the two.
7. Questioning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs isnât threatening, even if it feels like it. Thereâs no harm- if itâs true, itâs true. If not, you can begin to change.
8. Itâs true, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important.
9. People are doing the best they can with the tools they have.
10. Listen to actions, not words. Even good people with the best intentions have flaws, and thatâs okay.
11. Everyoneâs path is different, and itâs so easy to judge. Itâs a good idea to learn how to detach from that. Let people live!! Including yourself.
12. Even if itâs bs, having faith the universe has your back provides endless calm and a sense of being loved + protected.
13. Children and animals will heal your soul. Volunteering at an animal shelter is always a good idea. Seriously, go do it.
14. You donât need to know all the steps or even have a clear end goal, but you do need a vision to work towards and the immediate next step.
15. Friends will come and go- thatâs natural. Itâs okay to be sad about it. A loss is a loss.
16. If something is consistently making you miserable, thatâs a good sign itâs not for you.
17. Go towards what brings you joy, especially regarding vocation. This doesnât mean it wonât be stressful or annoying at times, but the main feelings should be joy + accomplishment.
18. Despite what the culture tells you there is no timeline or rule book. Do whatever TF you want! But! Be healthy in that.
19. Crying, yelling, breathing, laughing, hugging all helps⌠a lot. EMOTE.
20. Everyone is working on something different, but weâre all striving for balance.
21. Your body changes constantly. I know the overarching message is to change it, but your body is a miracle. Being alive is a miracle! When youâre feeling down about your body, thatâs a sign to give it a ton of love, NOT to try and change it.
22. Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. You can forgive someone and not have them in your life.
23. Everyone truly has their own individual experiences, which is equally beautiful and terrifying to me.
24. No one can be forced to change. It only happens when they are ready. It doesnât matter if all the facts are known, it wonât happen until the internal shift does.
25. BREATHING will help solve every problem. Always begin and come back to deep breaths.
26. Change and growth can be hard. They can be really scary. But itâs not impossible. Everyone has the capacity to change.Â
27. Having empathy for others allows you to act from a space of love, even in anger. That doesnât mean being a doormat for peopleâs behavior, it just means in your anger youâre treating them with love and respect.
28. We are all ever changing, evolving beings. The work never stops- itâs a lifelong process.
29. You have and are going to make a ton of mistakes. You are going to hurt people. Please forgive yourself. No one benefits from you feeling eternally guilty, especially yourself. Take responsibility, have remorse, learn the lesson, and let go.
30. Nothing is permanent, especially feelings and thoughts. Soak up each moment and let it pass. Nothing bad will last forever, but neither will the good. Itâs all an ebb and flow so, flow.
31. Itâs so important to be honest with how youâve been wounded. Itâs equally important to be honest with how youâve wounded others. You need to heal from both.
32. Soak up and cherish every moment. Truly, seriously. That is what life is all about- experiences and the way you feel. Even my worst moments, Iâll probably never feel that way again. I treasure it all.
33. My god, life can be so hard. Just be fucking kind to one another.
34. The darkness always fades into light. The light always comes back. I promise.Â
Dec 3, 2024
đ
Happy birthday! You have a great batch of years ahead of you, the best yet. I'm biased, but it's been my favorite decade so far (every year is better than the last, the idea of "peaking" is for chumps). Some thoughts!
Group trips - when you say "we should go to X someday," or "we should rent a house" "we should do a day trip to this cool thing or this sculpture garden" actually do it. Blow up the group text, have everyone agree on a day or week or a weekend and make it happen. People will start thinking about "settling down" and "having families" which makes everything that much harder to plan (depending on who your friends are -- I have friends with kids who still do it all). But do those trips, because they're really fun.
Cooking - get some nice staple kitchen stuff and start cooking. Cook for yourself, for dates, for friends, cook together.
It's ok to let go - Don't burn bridges if it's not toxic, but it's ok to let friendships fade if you've outgrown them and it's ok to recognize them for what they are. Sometimes you will grow together and sometimes you will grow apart. It's alright to let someone become an acquaintance. It can also be very hard to accept, but know that whatever you feel, it's ok.
Old friends - some people have known me through so many different phases of my life. Cherish those old friendships, and make the effort to deepen them. Keep doing those long phone calls, take a weekend to spend together, travel to see a concert together, be there for birthdays and other life events. Those relationships are really special. Same goes for family if that's possible.
Stay curious - you're on this app, so you're already curious. Keep reading, watching, hobbymaxxing. Keep trying things on and checking things out to see if you like them. Learn new stuff. That's not just for your thirties, that's for life.
Stretch and take care of your body - itâs your precious vessel. That's also for life.
Jun 6, 2024
đ¨
Iâm about to turn 30 and idk if my 21 year old self would approve of where Iâm atâbut my 6 year old self sure as hell would!! I think a lot of life is finding your way back to Little You.
Being 21 is so so hard, and in college youâre first starting to see that you canât judge your progress based on other people. Even though thatâs how you were taught to judge yourself up until this point. The things you want now probably wonât matter to you in a few years, and for me that would have sounded terrifying at 21. But that doesnât mean the things you want now arenât important.
You can think of it in terms of tattoos. If you get a tattoo at 16 itâs not because you know it will represent you always and foreverâitâs to commemorate a moment, a feeling of boldness you wanted to wear proudly. And down the line you donât look at it with regret, but a softness for that younger part of you. Feel your feelings fully in this moment! Be bold with what you care about! Every age is special.
Practical advice:
Try to listen to your body and not your head. Do I actually like how I feel spending time with this person? Am I going through the motions of this hobby because I think it will service something else? Does xyz come naturally to me, or does it feel forced? No action needed. This exercise isnât about flipping your life upside down, just take notice of how your body feels in certain situations. Start to notice when youâre in fight or flight versus happy and free. Find the ease and follow it
Jan 25, 2025
Top Recs from @saylor
đĽ
I know Iâve ranted about AI before but! Just saw another writer who was doing peer reviews as she was writing chapters with another person; until she found out the other person was using AI for their NOVEL! Blows my mind. She removed this person from her document and sent her a kind but straightforward message about how she wonât be working with her going forward due to the AI usage. I feel like using it for novel writing is one of the most insane uses because #1 this person told me that the AI generated parts of the work werenât even as good as the other personâs normal writing was. #2 letâs say no one noticed and you published with the AI work, so you would be okay if the book did well but it wasnât even truly your writing that people would be praising?? Not to mention of course the morality and environmental impact.
Also, I was shopping around today for a custom leather stamp to start stamping the leather journal covers I make. Thought I found someone to make it until they said to send the logo file over and theyâll send back AI created renderings of a mockup to approve. Now I am starting the search all overđ
Apr 28, 2025
May 1, 2025
đ
So we all think itâs sketchy that Tik Tok is already back right? And that they posted a statement kissing Trumpâs ass and making him out to be the one saving Tik Tok when he isnât even sworn in yet? And now Trump wants the US government to have a 50% ownership, aka turning Tik Tok into state owned media just like I thought was happening. And Iâm sure most people wonât be able to stay away from Tik Tok and Meta which is so disappointing. I want nothing to do with Tik Tok now because I know the app as we knew it is already gone at this point.
Jan 19, 2025