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i have always wanted to go to pride and this year i was finally gonna get the chance to go but im too scared? am i the only one that feels this way?
May 17, 2025
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I totally get this, I live in a red state and it sucks. I’ve never been to pride and this year I’m having a party with friends. I know I’ll be safe and I will still be surrounded by people who affirm and celebrate my existence.
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I’m not sure if anyone else feels the immense anxiety about this incoming year as an American. I have always had a gloom about the world and been a realist but now the line between realism and pessimism is blurring. I’ve looked at plane tickets to different countries, I have a renewed passport, I am worried about the safety of my partner, friends, and family. Tonight’s celebration feels like a last. I am prone to heavy feelings but this feels more realistic as I said, and that is what is worrying me the most. I am unsure of what platforms will get banned or silenced / heavily moderated but I feel like social media is going to have a boom more so than it already has in this upcoming presidency. I think a lot of people of minority will seek refuge in these platforms, this one included, not only as an escape but as a way to exist without hate and seek social connection. These promises made by the one who is to be in charge are terrifying, and if they don’t terrify you, you are either lucky or in denial. I don’t know about all of you, but I am hiding my pride flag after today. I pray for all those who wear theirs proudly in the upcoming year that you will be safe and unharmed. I pray for all those going to be affected by these next four years, including those who are being hurt across the globe. I am no religious affiliate but I pray to whomever may listen.
I hope all of those who read this have a fun and safe celebration tonight and party with lack of worry. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts, they were heavy being carried on my own.
Dec 31, 2024
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why is talking to people who i want to be friends with so stressful?? i saw this guy today who volunteers at the radio station i volunteer at, and who i’ve seen play with his band a few shows, and is friends with my friends, but has no idea who i am. i stood off to the side for ten minutes trying to work up the courage to say hello, sweating, getting a stomach ache, itchy, blushing. in the end i just left without saying anything. why is it so hard!
Apr 11, 2025
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i'm going to a residency in italy and i feel a little scared bc i don't know anyone (i had this experience before and i liked it)
im really happy bc i will have to do a project in one week and meet new people and be outside (i spend the 90% of the time in a room w the computer)
i don't understand why i feel scared
May 21, 2025
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