Being familiar enough with your inner voice to recognize patterns of speech and at which emotions they arise so you can best manage your reaction. For example, Iāve for whatever reason switched from saying āshut the fuck up cuntlickerā to āfuck you and fuck your momā when I have a thought that makes me feel bad and I know to fogetaboudit. Itās like noting in meditation and Iāve recognized the patterns in my language to know that whenever these phrases cross my mind throughout the day to move on from the thought I was having, to let it lie unstirred, and I can carry on with peace of mind after a minor subconscious interruption. I think the abrasiveness may also really help stop a thought in its tracks.
if youāre person with anxiety like me or a person who experiences misogyny (also me) then chances are you could always get a little meaner when it comes to asking acceptable behaviour of others. looking back on times when, in the moment, i was worried that i was being too harsh by telling people how they can treat me, retrospectively i have almost never ever in my life felt i did the wrong thing. realizing this has made standing up for myself 10x easier every time i find myself needing to. showing others grace is not incompatible with showing up for yourself, in fact, one necessitates the other!
i could never understand why i lacked the tools to distance myself from people who hurt me and kept hurting me. iād always go back, iād always āforgive,ā and iād always fawn (try and be better because itās obviously my fault i wasnāt perfect, duh.) . there has been a recent shift in my life where i will feel physically angry when iām subjected to mistreatment. sometimes iāll put it aside in favor of my fears but sometimes i feel it and let it be.. and when i do, i find i have the power to uphold simple boundaries that protect me from the mistreatment. itās the darndest thing (would you believe it if i said iām black?)
Whatever man some more immediate version of me thought it was apt at the time. I love getting older cause past versions of me keep getting younger. I canāt hold it against them I was so young then! just a rapscallion
Devastating. so emotionally honest. stunning instrumentals. Listened to this a lot 2 augusts ago and again now bc Iām venturing into a new known unknown again. Always thought August is the Sunday of summer and feel like this album captures that lethargic oppressive heat that is always ushering in change tickled with a melancholic ending, the reminder of time passing, that your childhood is another summer behind you. A sigh instead of a sob. Only 2 songs are shorter than 6 minutes.