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not relinquishing your pre-digital memories to the machine

I made a Goodreads account recently and it asked me to rate some popular books I’d read before. Little did I know, every time I ranked a book, it would give me 5 more similar to that one, and then 5 more from that, and on and on until a neverending phylogenetic tree of books emerged on my screen. I was on FaceTime with my friend as I did this, and we compared which books we’d both read, ones we loved, ones we got forced to read in school, ones we read as preteens, etc. But half an hour in and no end to the Goodreads algorithm, but stuck in The Very Hungry Caterpillar-y children’s book branch of the algorithm tree that I couldn’t escape, I started to get mad. So I command-Q’d chrome and called it a day. This week I went back to organise my To Read list and to purge all the loose one-book memos on my notes app. My professor recently gave me her recommendations on queer literature and I wanted to properly organise them. On my profile it said I’d already read some 100+ books and I’d given them all 5 star ratings. Ok well now that’s pissing me off. Why is there digital clutter on my brand new account, and why did I give all that information to them anyways.? I love to categorise, but did I really need to log my readership of the individual 39 Clues books? I feel similarly about when I first downloaded letterboxd and it made me go down a similar never ending algorithm of potential movies I’d watched before. I did spend an unreasonable amount of time swiping through those movies trying to remember if I really did watch Horton Hears a Who in 2008(?) or not. Why do I feel the need to share this with the algorithm? genuinely what purpose does this serve me? Why am I volunteering memories from my 7 year old self when I learnt English by reading Geronimo Stilton books for the first time? Anyways, I deleted all the past data from my Goodreads account. There’s only logs from my current reads, and the list of books I want to read next. There’s comfort in organising and seeing your life laid out in list/grid categories, like unlocking achievements on video games - oh did you know I read so and so and yeah I was a pretentious little bitch in high school and every YA book I read in 2013 has gotta be logged and But there’s another type of comfort in keeping that information away from the internet where they’ll find a way to use that data against you. I can‘t think of a single occasion I’d need personalised ads for the chick-lit books I read in primary school but I know the algorithm is going to eventually find a way to sell my nostalgia back to me somehow… I‘m going to open any of my little apps and see hyper specific #ad on my screen. I know I’ve given so much of me away online already - and look what I’m doing right now(!) , sharing my interests and recommendations to strangers online hah .. I won’t lie about the fact that it brings me joy to live online - it’s been my playground for so much of my life - Like sorry I am literally the internet explorer -But there was a time before I lived on the internet. I don’t think they need to know everything about Then. I recommend not giving up everything about yourself to the machine

@emibee

Mar 8, 2024

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more mystery

in the age of endless access to information, the unknown can quickly become known - though i think we've reached a point where balance is desperately needed. our brains are sensitive and absorbing information constantly whether we like it or not. i recently deleted social media from my phone and now only log on at the computer (love how many pi.fyi recs i've seen on this) - anyways i finally joined the club and see no going back. i don't want to know everything about everyone all the time and on top of that be plagued with intrusive ads (no matter how relevant they may or may not be). being present is crucial, and watching other people's lives on our phones whenever we want can definitely take one out of the present. if i were a true conspiracy theorist, i'd say it almost seems strategically designed to interrupt our normal train of thoughts and give everybody add and make us less thoughtful or make us stray from our true path. i think there's an art to boredom and liminal zones. if you're in a doctor's office waiting room or in a coffee shop waiting for your drink, i think its cool to just be nothing for a moment, limbo is a luxury and giving your consciousness and attention to something every second strips you of that temporary feeling... if we're homies and not seeing each other in person we can text about our lives. instagram stories have begun to creep me out, i don't like how normalized casual stalking has become. i feel like it makes everyone overly analytical and constantly thinking about social dynamics all the time, injecting way too many forms of micro-anxieties for everyone throughout the day - there's value in time spent alone with our thoughts and i feel like the status quo of social media and internet without boundaries at the moment is infringing on some timeless human functions. that said we need to connect and find out about things and discover each other and using platforms like pi.fyi and instagram allow us to do so, we just need to be mindful about how we go about it. i think it's okay to not know everything all the time, mystery creates intrigue and that's stimulating enough for me...

@dakotablue

Jun 8, 2024

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I've been thinking too much

I need a place to archive my thoughts in a dated manner, but also not on instagram. I used to post things pretty frequently on my stories and then have a 'highlights' of the year that I could go back to look at, but now, I am not so comfortable sharing on such a commercial soul sucking platform that is data mining and surveilling and selling. I also feel like I am not, in my core, a good person. There are very few people who, when I see their success and happiness, spark genuine joy for me. For the most, I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that their life does not affect mine and that I should not let the display of their wealth of happiness, opportunity and beauty spoil the pursuit of my own. Some days, I feel so engrossed in knowing and wanting to know the updates of all the people around me. Now, I just want to shrink and disappear, I do not want people to know what I am up to and I do not want to peripherally watch others either. I want to focus on myself. I feel like I need to cut the plug on instagram with a hard delete. Maybe I will just buy myself a photo printer and print out the 'instagram' shots with their memories and make my own photobook instead. But I need to find a new way to document and archive my life.

@kanrakhan

Feb 8, 2025

Top Recs from @eatgraeps

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PI.FYI IS HARM REDUCTION FOR MY INTERNET ADDICTION

i may have spent a sinister amount of time here today but better with you folk than in the wild west of short form video content….

@eatgraeps

May 21, 2025

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THINKING ABOUT ITALIAN CONDOM & CIGARETTE VENDING MACHINES

they really have this whole life thing figured out

@eatgraeps

May 20, 2025

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regretful fun fact i feel compelled to share like a sinner to a priest

i have 200,000 plays on soundcloud because i made an ambient track when i was 15 and clickbait titled it "sex noises". dozens of comments going "wheres the sex". what a strange impact to have made on the world and i am locked out of the account forever

@eatgraeps

May 16, 2025