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not in a creepy way! but if you have a good chat with someone, leave them your number, follow up later, build community or whatever. don't make them feel obliged to respond, just toss the ball to them.
6d ago
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I’ve given my number out several times, but no one ends up taking me up on the offer of getting to really know one another. I’m looking for a random yet true connection! Tempted to post my number here… ?
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I totally get the temptation to ask insightful and thought-provoking questions but remember sometimes you need to keep it simple. If it's a loud party with lots of people, not everyone is going to want to have a super deep conversation with someone they just met. Small talk is annoying and tedious but sometimes it's a much-needed entry point. Meet some cool people, get their contact info, and then message them later with some big questions.
Jul 20, 2024
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this might not all apply to you, but sometimes if I overthink social interactions in general, I end up missing out on what could have been a really good conversation. I usually like to ask myself what I’m genuinely curious about/want to know about a specific person and let my questions lead into a more fruitful discussion. worst case scenario is that don’t take the bait and then the conversation ends, but most of the time I find people like talking about themselves, which can lead to something y’all have in common.
I also don’t put pressure on myself to “make a friend” after one interaction. some people require crumbs of interactions before they start to let you in!
Mar 27, 2024
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everyone is always so scared of seeming desperate but its better to be annoying or be perceived as such than not doing what you intended to do out of shame of being seen
Jan 4, 2025
Top Recs from @mdoinurmom
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if you think you’re the smartest person in your friend group you’re weird and annoying. the best friendships come out of mutual awe and respectability. be friends with people who make you want to know more things.
Jan 29, 2024
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i will never be in a situationship in the same way i will never be in the land of oz--it's just not real. i think using the word doesn't let you self-reflect in a way that is truly helpful. i was telling my friend about the awkwardness of seeing an exhook up in a relationship bc i thought we had mutual feelings and she said "oh your exsituationship" and i thought (for the first time) no, we had clear boundaries i just got my hopes up. my point is that instead of using situationship as a catch-all for not quite dating or wtv failed prospect, take it as a moment to reflect on what exactly went wrong. idk if this is profound or not
Jan 30, 2025
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025