i think that being friends with people you may disagree with on some major things is ultimately a good thing.
if you only are friends with people you agree with you will be stuck in a silo and only be more drawn towards the views you already have. even if you disagree, seeing and understanding another persons perspective can bring a lot of insight to things you might not have thought about before.
beyond that if you understand their perspective and still disagree, diplomacy can help change their mind. you will almost never be able to change someoneās mind about something by refusing to engage or arguing with them. i wouldnāt say being diplomatic is the same as submission, because you canāt influence someone without being diplomatic. you can try to understand their perspective and then bring up pieces of your own experience that contradict it. if you trust someone and they describe experiencing something that contradicts your beliefs, there are definitely some questions that are raised in your mind.
obviously there are limits but i generally always have a very open mind even if i disagree with someone a lot. daryl davis did a great talk on this describing how he convinced multiple KKK leaders to leave.
May 27, 2025
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I think it has a lot to do with problem-solving mindsets, and with my friend circles tbh we are all of the notion that disagreement is inevitable but also a learning process and involves basic respect for each others' opinions. Also we kind of all sense that everything is political/connected as-is.
I do think there's a lot of avoidance in society lately but if you want to get along better and understand each others' contexts aka build that friendship, you gotta have that space to debate.
Jan 24, 2025
lots of other thoughtful responses here but simply put, no. if someone supports a harmful political figure, they likely believe that figureās beliefs or they at least donāt care enough about each impact of that politicianās whole platform. we canāt only think about how things impact ourselves; being kind to others is the bare minimum.
and there is nuance, like if someone believes we canāt abolish the police but thinks the current system is bad, so they support a politician who increases social services (that prevent crime), thatās different from someone who supports a politician that justifies police violence. the latter is highly, highly ignorant; but the former acknowledges social issues, which indicates space for further dialogue and growth
from an organizing perspective, i do believe in educating and calling in etc but those are learned skills and also a totally different thing from friendship and dating. you probably canāt just āfixā the views of friends or partners, and should not just leave that as a caveat of your relationship nor put up with their beliefs because you think you might be able to educate them.
article linked is specifically about dating but itās a good, brief essay
Jul 14, 2024
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this involves DEVELOPING YOUR DISCERNMENT AND DISCOMFORT TOLERANCE SKILLS! is that person morally evil or just not your cup of tea? are they trying to make you feel uncomfortable or are they also maybe a little nervous and doing their best?
we could really change the landscape of what community looks like if we open ourselves up to the idea of consistently offering respect and dignity to others even when weāre not dying to become their best friend, and joyfully sharing space with someone we might not ever know more than as an acquaintance. those are members of your community too!
this also allows for change over time- in the individual and in your own perspective and capacity for connection.
1d ago
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its like how you throw your phone around after youāve had it for more than a year
May 16, 2025
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its crazy to me we are now at a point where major companies are actively putting measures into their products to make them hard or impossible to fix on your own. if you take it anywhere else to get it fixed your warranty is now voided. i just paid like $1000 for this phone. do i even really own it if nobody but the company i bought it from can fix it?
better yet you bring it to them and they will essentially do nothing but quote you for overpriced parts you donāt need or more likely just tell you to buy a new phone. thanks apple!!!
May 1, 2025
May 1, 2025