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nobody understands how freeing it is to truly be what others call “chill.” that mindset is the most freeing of all, to not judge others upon first glance is a gift only few are naturally blessed with. of course, many learn how to be more accepting and carefree throughout life and experience, and that is to also be accepted. though what i have seen on other social media platforms is just exhausting. the key to being a truly open minded person is remembering it’s their life, not yours. people can live it and express themselves however they like as long as it doesn’t harm themselves and especially others. this can go from blue hair and piercings to dyed platinum hair and neon clothing. i used to call myself open minded until i realized it was only on one side. i was very accepting of alternative fashion and lifestyle that i absolutely ripped on things that are associated with the “norm.” i came to the realization that even though i choose not to live that way, that does not make it okay to tell people what they’re doing is wrong or stupid. they do it because it is THEIR life, i simply wouldn’t do it because that’s MY life and it does not align with me. this obviously goes further into topics of social issues and politics, though the first and most critical step to approaching deeper rooted misunderstandings regarding those topics would be the ability to properly argue. this should be basic knowledge, though tiktok and instagram (and media in general) is forgetting how to civilly debate. one must thoroughly hear out the other without insulting and/or interrupting, and then respond after the other has said their piece. active research of the points being discussed is crucial for all around understanding other perspectives. that advice goes for small arguments in comment sections to full on debates in professional settings. some may say this segment trailed off, though that only proves how far being open minded can get someone. we should not be closed off, calling things different to us “cringe” or dismissing others for their different ways of life.
TLDR/important takeaway: never judge anyone unless their way of life negatively affects themselves and/or others. when in disagreement, always put yourself in the other’s perspective and actively research.
TLDR/important takeaway: never judge anyone unless their way of life negatively affects themselves and/or others. when in disagreement, always put yourself in the other’s perspective and actively research.
4d ago
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🤝it’s genuinely very hard for me to be mad at another person—unless they are genuinely being unreasonable and deliberately hurtful towards me. but even so, they usually have their own reasons
everyone’s allowed to live differently and make different decisions based on how they grew up and grew into the person they are, and i think understanding how inherently different we all are from each other is actually very important—not enough people grapple with that, we don’t actually sit down and comprehend that before reacting and objecting other people
i also think we need to be more comfortable with saying “i understand why you think this is the case, i just don’t agree with you, and that’s totally ok”
everyone’s allowed to live differently and make different decisions based on how they grew up and grew into the person they are, and i think understanding how inherently different we all are from each other is actually very important—not enough people grapple with that, we don’t actually sit down and comprehend that before reacting and objecting other people
i also think we need to be more comfortable with saying “i understand why you think this is the case, i just don’t agree with you, and that’s totally ok”
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i think that being friends with people you may disagree with on some major things is ultimately a good thing.
if you only are friends with people you agree with you will be stuck in a silo and only be more drawn towards the views you already have. even if you disagree, seeing and understanding another persons perspective can bring a lot of insight to things you might not have thought about before.
beyond that if you understand their perspective and still disagree, diplomacy can help change their mind. you will almost never be able to change someone’s mind about something by refusing to engage or arguing with them. i wouldn’t say being diplomatic is the same as submission, because you can’t influence someone without being diplomatic. you can try to understand their perspective and then bring up pieces of your own experience that contradict it. if you trust someone and they describe experiencing something that contradicts your beliefs, there are definitely some questions that are raised in your mind.
obviously there are limits but i generally always have a very open mind even if i disagree with someone a lot. daryl davis did a great talk on this describing how he convinced multiple KKK leaders to leave.
if you only are friends with people you agree with you will be stuck in a silo and only be more drawn towards the views you already have. even if you disagree, seeing and understanding another persons perspective can bring a lot of insight to things you might not have thought about before.
beyond that if you understand their perspective and still disagree, diplomacy can help change their mind. you will almost never be able to change someone’s mind about something by refusing to engage or arguing with them. i wouldn’t say being diplomatic is the same as submission, because you can’t influence someone without being diplomatic. you can try to understand their perspective and then bring up pieces of your own experience that contradict it. if you trust someone and they describe experiencing something that contradicts your beliefs, there are definitely some questions that are raised in your mind.
obviously there are limits but i generally always have a very open mind even if i disagree with someone a lot. daryl davis did a great talk on this describing how he convinced multiple KKK leaders to leave.
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this was basically the message of an activist from an anti-factory farming nonprofit whose presentation i attended recently. she's vegan but knows it's not realistic to force it on other people considering plant-based food is not as accessible as animal products. that being said, eating plant based more often is a real change you can make to combat the horrors of factory farming and the negative climate and ethical effects it has!
a couple things i took away abstracted from the issue of industrialized animal agriculture: 1) the best way to approach someone who has a different opinion to you is with open ears and an open heart 2) recognizing our common humanity is of utmost importance 3) it's not productive to shame people for aspects of their lifestyle that are, well, not up to them and the product of larger circumstances/social conditioning 4) create mutual dialogues where both parties can learn more about each other rather than pointing fingers or immediately jumping to anger or hostility. tell them where you're coming from, and try to understand the same for them. (of course in some scenarios, with sufficient information, immediate anger is warranted!) 5) don't assume you know everything about someone else's situation and beliefs; instead, ask and clarify!
all this to say that the answer is always love and listening <3
a couple things i took away abstracted from the issue of industrialized animal agriculture: 1) the best way to approach someone who has a different opinion to you is with open ears and an open heart 2) recognizing our common humanity is of utmost importance 3) it's not productive to shame people for aspects of their lifestyle that are, well, not up to them and the product of larger circumstances/social conditioning 4) create mutual dialogues where both parties can learn more about each other rather than pointing fingers or immediately jumping to anger or hostility. tell them where you're coming from, and try to understand the same for them. (of course in some scenarios, with sufficient information, immediate anger is warranted!) 5) don't assume you know everything about someone else's situation and beliefs; instead, ask and clarify!
all this to say that the answer is always love and listening <3
Nov 10, 2024
