i’ve always struggled to put my emotions into words and express them outwardly in a way that makes sense to others/doesn’t make them uncomfortable/is seen as societally acceptable. i feel like as the internet evolves and becomes more cynical and less genuine, earnestness online is becoming a lost art. sincerity can be scary but i think we all need to learn it. i think sincerity and earnestness and keeping our hearts big and kind will save all of us in the end
I believe in opacity. "The inner voice of the poet protects the poet," something in the first page of Teeter by Kimberly Alidio. As a Buddhist I think that allowing a life to proceed without intervention protects the vitality of living, though as a Buddhist I also believe in contradiction. Here it's that my interventions to life proceeding is also a way of allowing life to proceed. I need to believe in sincerity as much as I believe in opacity. Which is to say, I need to believe in my interventions. My belief in opacity has dulled, and I'm not in a place to articulate its convictions anymore. I used to be softer! My wisdom was to let things happen while I let myself happen. When my life hardened I leaned into my opaque-shaded beliefs..maybe it protected me. I'm working up to opening my sensitivity to intervention, and I need to reopen myself up to my life to do it. & to do that, I need to be open with it too (via microblogging I guess).
we are made to feel like these are prudish or closed-minded things to hold close in our lives (or to prioritize while making big decisions)... but they aren't!
The art that you spend so much time with in solitude takes on a version of you. Maybe the work you make isn’t necessarily something you share easily with openness. Maybe you don’t feel that you say the “correct” things in the moment and the right words find you later on. I definitely feel that way. Opening up myself and being vulnerable has never been easy for me. I grew up in a family where affection was never loud. Love was tuned in silence. Recently sharing my art, an extension of my love, has been a bit scary, but rewarding. A closeness and intimacy is shared that leads to a clearer understanding.
all of mansour’s works are gorgeous and so beautifully representative of the palestinian condition (pre and post-intifada) but there’s something about 1985’s ”hope” that’s always stuck with me, much like 1993’s “the nazarene” (also attached). i cannot recommend looking further into mansour’s works enough. follow him on instagram @/sliman.mansour 🕊️