I used to not watch anything on TV. It was my quirk. I never had any idea what people were referencing at dinners. But now, my world has opened up… TV, who knew! Suddenly, I’m the one asking my friends why they haven’t seen the docu-series about competitive tickling.
The amount of peak media I’ve ruined for myself by watching clips on youtube is beyond my ability to calculate. I’ve seen the ending of the sopranos and I haven’t watched a single episode. I’ve seen death scenes for characters I didn’t even know the name of yet. I’m a monster
I have to be so honest. Fruit sometimes scares me…. Where did it come from? Is it safe? Is it washed? Is it bruised? But if I trick my brain into thinking that it’s the ridiculous one from Erewhon that costs $50 and sits alone on a little plush throne, I’m not scared anymore.
I’m anxious. And I’m anxious about being anxious. (New thought?) The only thing that can calm me down is making sure my anxiety isn’t physically killing me. Oximeters are the best. Get one at your local CVS… make sure you’re alive.
First of all, they make your teeth straighter. Second of all, it feels like you’re back in middle school but your lisp is now cool. (Also I am in love with my orthodontist.)
