Rec | BEING DIRECT

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I've just been informed my coworker is most likely flirting with me and the hangout we might plan is actually probably a date. I don't like that. I don't know many people in this area and I thought it would be nice to see a person and do a thing. I didn't agree to a date. I wish people would be direct. But this is my coworker. I can't just ask if it's a date because I don't want to have assumed. I shouldn't need to try and assume. I'm going to suggest inviting other coworkers with us and if they say no I'm not going. But I hate this. I was so excited. I just make friends too hard and I think it gives people the wrong impression. I wish I could just be sincere and kind without people thinking I'm hitting on them.

Jun 7, 2025

Comments (31)

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ugh, i hate that. i also really wish people would be direct. it’s so irritating to have to walk on eggshells and read between the lines. i hope everything works out for you!

Jun 8, 2025

@KILLCHARLIE thank you, it will I'm sure!

Jun 8, 2025

I’m really sorry this happened. Being a woman is a curse sometimes.

Jun 8, 2025

@STARLET it really can be

Jun 8, 2025

@carolinebreeden

there’s been times where i’ve invited a guy friend to go to something with me and wind up getting told by someone else that it was seen as a date later. i hate it so much can we not just do fun things and be normal??? nothing about it was date like??

Jun 8, 2025

@CAROLINEBREEDEN it's only a date if someone says it's a date I think

Jun 8, 2025

@carolinebreeden

@CAROLINEBREEDEN precisely..unless both of you are aware that it’s a date it is NOT A DATE

Jun 8, 2025

@CAROLINEBREEDEN exactly!!

Jun 8, 2025

i’m the same way ;-; i platonic love so hard people mistake it for something else :/

Jun 8, 2025

@ERDY exactly!! if I wanted more I'd say so

Jun 8, 2025

tell us if you are ok in the end❤️

Jun 7, 2025

@ALXDIMMENSION thank you, I will, it might be a bit till it comes up

Jun 8, 2025

@ALXDIMMENSION either way I'll be okay in the end!

Jun 8, 2025

@ALXDIMMENSION re-reccing with update

Jun 10, 2025

@ALXDIMMENSION on it

Jun 15, 2025

i HATED this when it happened!! i would then proceed to be the worst date ever so i never heard back from them lol but def invite more people!!!

Jun 7, 2025

Ughhhhh this used to happen to me and i always felt so played. Tell me you want to go on a date, don’t be sneaky and entrap me into being on a date with you.

Jun 7, 2025

@SALAD_VALET and then suddenly they are too in your space and complimenting you too much and you didn't know but you did agree to be there, it's so stressful

Jun 7, 2025

omg so many times ive gone out with ppl on what i thought was a friend date and then they steer the convo to like relationships/make a move and im like??? if u wanted to go on a date date u could just say that? or ive found ppl think im flirting with them when im just being nice? like if i was flirting with you i would tell u...i cant really keep a straight face when i like someone

Jun 7, 2025

@OKWETUU_FISH this is how I want it to be!! but I get that being direct is scary for some people, but how is this any better I don't knowww

Jun 7, 2025

@MOONBEAMS fr just creating more stress for themselves and me:/ thats how relationships get messy and where its difficult to go back to being friends

Jun 7, 2025

@OKWETUU_FISH yeah, messy is a good word for it

Jun 7, 2025

Speaking of being direct, Instead of asking if it’sa date, tell the person that it isn’ta date. But in a nice way, like you aren’t looking for that right now, and would like to do whatever s friends. I like giving advice that I would find difficult to follow

Jun 7, 2025

@BEE1000 it's just a clunky thing to have to bring up in any way, because we don't really talk all the time. I'm kinda hoping that by suggesting we invite other people I'm making it obvious that I don't see this as a date?

Jun 7, 2025

@MOONBEAMS Your way works, too :)

Jun 7, 2025

@BEE1000 solid advice tho, if my way doesn't end up working I'll take yours

Jun 7, 2025

@BEE1000 I'm seeing now that my way would be not very direct

Jun 7, 2025

I feel you, a similar thing has happened to me and it was very uncomfy and I found out later that what i thought was a “hang out” all of our friends knew was a date. I’m glad you’re setting some boundaries and I hope if you get a group to come its a lot of fun!

Jun 7, 2025

@EATGRAEPS I'm sorry you've experienced a similar thing but it's nice not to be alone in this. Thank you, it might be

Jun 7, 2025

@EATGRAEPS I was typing out a reply earlier but the app glitched for me and aaahhh I honestly can’t be (emotionally) bothered to write it all out again. But I’m commenting to add I’ve experienced this too for some extra *not aloneness* at ya Setting boundaries quick and stringently is the way to go, never be afraid as coming off as a bitch because other people have misread your sincerity or projected their wants onto you. I get being wary of doing this as a coworker trying to navigate workplace relationship tho, but it’s not a cruel thing. It’s a rip of the bandaid which is actually an act of kindness for yourself and even them. Hope the best for you dude

Jun 7, 2025

@SOFTSHELLED appreciate it 🫶, I'm less afraid of coming off as a bitch and more afraid of being like this is not a date when it already wasn't a date, but yeah I'm getting over it

Jun 7, 2025

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