Honestly I could be some type of ace so this might be absolute nonsense. But I have loved a couple people and it has felt different every time. And I feel like it also feels different when you're in love with someone who loves you back vs when they don't. The desire to be closer, wanting more and more of a person. But if you have them, feeling settled when they are around. For me the way I love every person feels different. So it's hard to compare and hard to describe. Maybe this means I haven't truly been in love with anyone at all. I feel like I have. The love I feel for my closest friends is still love. It's warm and bright. It makes you more present. You think of them more. Everything else fades into the background.
I wouldn't think about it too hard. There are millions of songs and stories and movies about it. But it's so case specific. You should just nurture the types of relationship and love that you have and that you want to keep. Explore what you feel a desire to explore. I get wanting a confidant and feeling lonely, you should look into queer platonic relationships maybe.
1d ago
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thank you ! i will look into queer platonic relationships and see if thats something im interested in.
1d ago
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The closest thing I can compare it to is that it feels similar to how I love my absolute best friends (the ones I would take a bullet for without hesitation). Except slightly different and combined with feelings of lust. Romantic love feels warm and important like all other types of strong love, yet maybe it feels more glittery. That's the best I can describe it for you. If you ever are in love, you will know. Even if it takes awhile to realise it happened (I usually go through a bit of denial). If it never happens for you, then that's chill too. There's so many other experiences out there and at least then you are spared the pain of romantic heartbreak. Bc experiencing romantic love often also leads to experiencing a lot of romantic heartbreak unfortunately.
1d ago
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i don't limit love to just a romantic partner. I have a queer platonic life partner (long word for my best friend) whom I love muchly. I have many people I love in different capacities, but no one in particular currently that I share a romantic love with!
I keep my heart open to allowing love to meet us where we're at, to which capacity it evolves to
May 14, 2024
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oh i feel you for sure. i never considered myself on the aromantic spectrum until i talked to people who are very much not aro and i was like oh.
but i dont think you’re (we’re) missing out at all!!! i think being queer has already opened up boundless ways to love and being aroace only broadens the horizons of ways i can love. things aren’t falling under the “normal” boxes, but smells and colours and sights and sounds and vibes and locations and conversations and shapes and touch and all these different wonderful things. it might sound cheesy as hell, but that’s how i see it.
for example, being asexual contributes to the way i observe bodies in motion (and not in motion). ie. there is almost nothing sexual to me about seeing someone naked, but i observe the beauty of their figure nonetheless. i have no desire to bed them, but id love to hold their hand and listen to them tell me about their day. and to me, it feels freeing to not look at someone and feel sexual desire. just raw unfettered love and adoration. and it gives me hope that if i can look at someone like that, someone can look at me like that too!
im not sure if you’re already aware of them, but i think you should also look into to Queer Platonic Relationships (QPR) because after learning what they are it lowkey changed my perspective on what i want in life as an aroace-ish person.
either way, i think you’ll find you know what it feels like to love someone, and that you’ll keep finding new ways the more people you meet !
(( ps. this is all my own experiences and opinions,,, everyone def has different aro/ace/aroace perspectives than me, but thought i’d share mine in case it helps you at all :) ))
14h ago
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