🫂
my mind no longer operates in the paradigm that, in my youth, convinced me that some (most) people were too [insert socially favorable adjective here] to be friends with me. as a result i was timid and insecure. i knew a lot of people and i thought they would never be interested in knowing ~me~.
in the past 5 years i’ve made close and genuine friendships with people i had previously put on a pedestal simply because i thought they were better than me.
omg i read a poem this morning that goes something like: “devotion is not love, it creates distance. you can’t hold someone from a pedestal.”
3d ago
Related Recs
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the clarity and bravery that adulthood provides, in tandem with the urge to make the most of the little time you get to intimately connect with the folks who mean the most to you: these drive you to dig deeper in the single afternoon you have to catch up, talking uninterrupted for 5 whole hours.
even going on 20 years of friendship, there is still more to learn about each other. makes sense, as you’ve spent so much time in self-examination. but now is the time to share, and presenting for show and tell are their fears and yours, hesitations and hinderances and fumbles and mistakes. each time you meet, you begin to know each other anew. here, vulnerability is safe and matter-of-fact.
you speak on the knowledge you‘ve gained by suffering through experiences that they haven’t had, and between you is an easy and frank intimacy interspersed with laughter and silly noises. you’re not sure who else you could ever have this kind of conversation with. the love between friends feels honest and special, as enduring as with family. when you slowly start to shift their mindset by sharing what you’ve learned from years of struggling, from pain that seemed pointless, crushing, isolating, you start to feel that maybe there was point to it after all.
most people are exhausting but you spring away to catch the C train feeling renewed, and maybe a little wise. you are no longer children together, and that‘s okay because now you revel in your shared adulthood, in your parallels and your growth
Jan 28, 2024
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I love meeting people and then making an effort to become one on one friends with them. Some of my best friends I’ve made in adulthood have been chance encounters where I decided i needed to learn more about that person and consequently sought them out. These have blossomed into very fulfilling and creatively inspiring friendships. I don’t tend to work very well in friendship groups so this is the model that I have found works for me.
Nov 11, 2024
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Speaking to a friendship aspect: finding my people was initially exhilarating. Being seen and accepted, feeling joyful and excited to spend time together, feeling like a team in the world rather than competitors are all things my first experiences with my best friends felt like. But there were also points where we pissed each other off or hurt each other or grew apart. what set apart these Friendships was being able to talk about it and wanting to be open about our hurt or anger. We reciprocally put in work to stay connected. I could trust my friends would listen to me and try to do better. i could Also trust that I would be forgiven when I needed to do better. To this day, they are the most transformative relationships I’ve had in adulthood and I’m always so grateful for them.
Feb 18, 2025
Top Recs from @buttaflibabi
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it’s a wee reminder of how special we are to one another. try it out!
3d ago
a lil reminder that control is an illusion. que sera sera!
edit: they’re so pretty i’m happy they immediately greeted me with their open petals
3d ago
fell in love with him @ the hollywood sanrio store. my boy is thicc & unbothered. he’s a reaaaal badmon. i don’t even know his lore like that and i dead don’t need to. the vibes are right with this lil sucker.
2d ago