đź«€
sometimes it’s funny to listen to songs you’ve loved before when experiencing the thing the song is about. you know how they say that once you listen to ribs at different points of your life you see it from different angles? well, something like that is happening to me right now.
it’s like i’ve never been this deep into yearning someone. it’s so weird and confusing. being in love is so different from everything i experienced honestly. at the same time, i think it feels exactly how i expected it to feel. and, i thought i’d never be able to fall in love, growing up on a town where everyone was exactly the same. the thought that maybe i could have met a boy who i could possibly like was crazy.
now, i’m older than i was when i had that though, and meeting someone who i could possibly be falling in love with has changed my perspective in things. i yearn for love more than i ever did before. i think about the excitement and fluorescing feeling of the possibility all of the time.
but, it’s everywhere, with it’s ups and downs. the excitement turns into sadness. the possibilities are moving me, but at the same time, they take me places of broken and harsh feelings. i know this is probably normal, but i’m sensitive. i believe i feel things more than other people do.
so know i’m left with myself, chances, excitement, and harsh feelings. i think i’m hungry for his love, which is not something i wrote myself. that’s what lead me to the begging. listening to lover, you should’ve come over now that i feel this strange urge to be with a real person changed completely the way i see the song.
very long post sorry!! just putting my feelings out there hehehe đź’Ś
6d ago
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i’ve never been in love before. liking boys feels sooo strange. i knew it left me in this deep misunderstanding of what love should feel like. now that i think (think!!) i’m falling in love, there’s all these other questions in my head. and i’ve been a fan of coming-of-age films and books for forever, because to me, i think i was trying to fill that void in my soul of wanting to be loved. now, things are all around, rumors were spread, and i just want him and i to be okay, as friends. first, i think comes the friendship. maybe it will turn into love. in my head, i think i hope deeply, but for now… friendship.
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đź’Ś
hi!
this feels like a place in which i can share my feelings lol. and i've been thinking about the post i made about being in love for the first time and the rumors that flew around lol. so idk if i can even call this an update, but i guess here it is! things are alright! the feelings still feels intense in my body, making me dissociate with who i really am. is that too strange? i feel like i'm not myself, but at the same time, i've never been more like myself. and i've also been thinking about friendship a lot. being in love brings heavy and intense emotions i've never felt before, but i also want to highlight that i think friendship is such a beautiful thing. i don't know if the feelings are equal in the friendship (in terms of love). and, as disappointing as it might be, i think i need to prioritize friendship above my (really confusing) feelings of what i think i can call being in love. it's sad and slightly depressing. but friendship is such a beautiful thing. there's so much pretty and shiny things i can learn from it. the thing is, i'm starting to think that when your in love, it blanks all the other feelings. it's like the shiny and beautiful things i see in friendship start to mix with all of the things that make me feel in love. how can i separate them? how can i apreciate friendship when i know that somewhere in another reality maybe that's not it? all of this is very nonsensecical i know!!! but it's just how i feel, i think.
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