I did all the things I had put off when I focused all my time and effort on this person I loved. So I finally got accessed and started meeting with a psychiatrist. Started prioritizing myself and my mental health above everything and it helps so much in the long run.
After that I realized I had all the time in the world to have fun and go out and get on dating apps. I made a silly profile. I went on dates with all sorts of people and it reminded me that I was someone who could be admired and loved. Eventually met my current partner through these apps and I havenāt thought of my ex since.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this right now but I know youāll get through it! ā¤ļø
2d ago
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thank you, this helps so much, ive been meaning to have this outlook on life, about time I get to it!!! <3
2d ago
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This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship thatās ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now Iām 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again
Some of the (many) things that worked for me:
- Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (Iām not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think youāre ready, itās possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever.
- On a related note, therapy was very needed!
- Start a new, group hobby where youāll see the same people each week. Not that youāll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and itās exciting to have something new in your life that isnāt tied to success on a dating app.
- Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isnāt yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you youāll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ā¤ļø
Apr 1, 2024
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There is a lot of really good advice and input in the other responses, but I just wanted to let you know that about a year ago I broke up and stopped talking to the person I was dating for over 8 years. I didnāt realize how much I didnāt know about myself. In that time Iāve picked up a few art classes, fitness classes, and some of those I hated. Every time I was sad that I wanted to do [insert any thing or activity] but I didnāt have someone to do it with, I would go do it alone.
This time last year was really hard. I had to drag my ass out of my apartment on long walks. podcasts were my best friends, because my real people friends would be busy some times and thatās okay! yeah I did watch all of love island. Alllll of it. I remember thinking ādo I exist if I donāt have a person to tell xyz to??ā Like yes girl ofc you do!!!!
Right now I feel like my life and my heart are so full And happy and Light!!! Putting myself first and finding out what I like has been amazing and Iām so excited to hear about how Youāre doing with it all.
Jun 18, 2024
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I saw dating (especially with apps) as just a way to gain experience and practice different relationship communication, I.e. how to draw boundaries or bring up small conflicts (used to be a nonexistent skill for me).
I set some expectations from the get go as well. I said I didnāt text, and I only saw someone I was dating once per week. I had a tendency prior to become enmeshed really easy, so I was making sure I didnāt fall into that same trap. It helps give time to actually get to know someone before it becomes āserious.ā
Alsoā¦ YOU are the prize of your life. As others have stated, youāre seeing if someone can fit (well enough) into your full and luscious life. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, learning, fun, hobbies.
You have an awareness already that this is a thing for you. When you notice yourself starting to go insane, PAUSE! Explore that. See how you can slow down.
Jul 2, 2024
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To each their own but I fucking love body hair.
Bush is in.
(someone make a damn bush emoji)
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Itās supposed to be fun. We are just vibing. Anyways ACAB!
May 17, 2025
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This is a rec and also a reminder for me because Iāve been sitting here thinking about emoji versus emoticon use in an Instagram dm and what it all means.
2d ago