Related Recs

💪

If it can happen to me, it can happen to you

This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship that’s ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now I’m 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again Some of the (many) things that worked for me: - Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (I’m not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think you’re ready, it’s possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever. - On a related note, therapy was very needed! - Start a new, group hobby where you’ll see the same people each week. Not that you’ll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and it’s exciting to have something new in your life that isn’t tied to success on a dating app. - Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isn’t yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you you’ll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it). Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ❤️

@tortitude

Apr 1, 2024

🧍

Give yourself the time to know yourself like you would do with those whom you fall in love with

A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I don’t remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me. I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that don’t feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, I’ve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share. Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too. It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you don’t need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and that’s really cool <3

@ro

Mar 11, 2024

😃

Reconnect with dormant/new parts of yourself

The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someone—(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means it’s working. Sending you love ❤️

@sophia

Mar 16, 2024

Top Recs from @lyssdri

📺

tv can serve multiple purposes

Yeah severance is the best tv show on right now and I will watch it and discuss the nuances and the shots and coloring and the writing!! like That’s art, that’s critiquing culture, that’s bringing something new to the table I will ALSO sit my ass down with wine and popcorn and watch the new love is blind episodes(and love island this summer!!!) because tv can also serve the purpose of shutting my brain O-F-F !!

@lyssdri

Feb 15, 2025

🏋

Being sore from a work out

I like working out and when I leave a workout class and I feel sore and then I take an epsom salt bath and I get in bed and my body just feels like YEAH you USED ME TODAY YAY. I love that.

@lyssdri

Feb 4, 2025

🚫

Delete whatever keeps distracting you on your phone

You can always redownload it. If I keep opening Pinterest during work, just delete it for a while!! I can download it again. Also we all know I mean Twitter and that I can’t go on it bc it will depress me .

@lyssdri

Nov 7, 2024