i was recently diagnosed with PTSD from repeated childhood trauma that has haunted me my whole life. today, i just had my first session of EMDR therapy - which for a reason neurologists don't fully understand, allows (primarily) people with this disorder to be exposed to and entirely reprocess traumatic memories by utilizing what's called "bilateral stimulation." aka, i was following a light that darts back and forth and holding onto handles that would buzz from side to side.
i had zero clue what real peace felt like before i dove into what was already inside of me. my mind is NEVER quiet, but in that moment, my guard was let down entirely and i was able to be so comfortable in the silence of just *being.* it felt like i had been blind my whole life, and i just gained my ability to see.
the words i say here don't do it nearly justice enough for how spiritual and moving of an experience it was to be able to take back my life and start to turn off the alarm bells in my brain. if you even THINK this kind of therapy would benefit you, you need to at least get assessed by an EMDR professional because this is extremely legit.
it's giving me my life back - and i couldn't be more thankful.