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This are simply ramblings from my personal notes
Humanity is essentially the ability to express genuine emotion  (?)
Humans tend to project human characteristics onto non human things
Things with emotions tend to project emotion onto things without it
Emotion is the light consciousness shines on the things it perceives
Our emotion is projected onto us by god(?)
5d ago
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Everything above 100% is true btw^
All things considered I think I have a pretty normal interior landscape. Songs get stuck in my head. I daydream & I fantasize & I ruminate & I contemplate. Sometimes my mind is busy, sometimes it is totally quiet. Memory is something that constantly fails me-- it's closer to propaganda than documentary to me. And the projectionist who plays the propaganda to me is this blind, deaf, volatile schizophrenic intent on making me, the rememberer, as deluded & ill informed as possible. Sometimes I'll have this strange feeling that I've received a memory from the future in a dream, even more rarely I'll get this sort of memory in the waking world. To understand what I'm talking about, click the link I've supplied.
But really, honestly, outside of that I like to daydream a lot. Today I was thinking about visiting Georgia & daydreaming about being a young Russian nobleman in the 19th century, the son of some diplomat or something, laid out in some Tblisi opium den. I'm faded as fuck & I'm staring at the rug and the ceiling & then rolling over facedown in the naked breasts of some Georgian woman. She is perfumed & her arms are fat & she pets my hair and coos-- this is incredibly disgusting to me of course.
Sometimes I think that Consciousness is a curse. Free will was given to us by God, but Knowledge of Good & Evil was something that we were tricked into taking up by the serpent (ouroboros). Not a coincidence that all great sages exhort those who seek wisdom to cease with their perception & their perception of perception & their perception of perception of perception. Meta-cognition is the flattened out ourobouros (serpent) that traps the thinker in Hell.
Feb 14, 2025
humans create their own meaning within the truths of their environment. find what gives you meaning and pursue it relentlessly.
the video linked is a pretty good summary of Emerson’s book Self Reliance
Nov 3, 2024
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in famed platonist iris murdoch’s essay on god and good she says that ego prevents us from recognizing that another person is as real as oneself. attention turned outward toward others without interference from the ego allows us to liberate our souls from fantasy and attend to a reality in the illuminating light of transcendent Goodness
Dec 19, 2023
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I recommend a couple deep breaths right now, it wont cost you anything or take away too much time. breathing deeply reduces stress, increases blood flow and blood levels, and it’s probably the best way for the average person to catch a break from the endless chatter of the mind. Take some breaths, breathe in for a little longer than you breathe out, try to enjoy it.
That’s all, be well
2d ago
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I’m a Computer Science major with a minor in data science, I’ve always liked computer, I started coding when I was very young, in HS I explored adjacent fields like engineering and Cyber Security but stuck with Computer Science cuz I figured if I get a good enough understanding of the foundations I could basically do anything later
I enjoy what I do but I can’t say it’s the only thing I’d enjoy doing, I’m a scientist @ heart so I think I would’ve been ok in any STEM field but to me the combo of utility offered by Comp Sci, and the allure of figuring out what makes the magic box work was too strong to pass up
I don’t really have any good advice, figuring out what to do is hard, I know more pepl who regret staying in their major than I do pepl who regret switching so I’d say try what you think will fit best and if it doesn’t work out don’t be afraid to try something else
Feb 28, 2025
Mar 17, 2025