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no title can express my sorrow

there's no standard treatment for a broken heart. i sigh quietly to myself, thinking i’ll actually find an answer on how to heal a broken heart on google it all began five years ago, when i finally started spending time with him—the boy who seemed to shine a little brighter than the rest. he was the kindest, the prettiest, the one who made my heart feel lighter just by existing. and he wanted to be my friend. how could i not fall? kept the friendship up for a couple of years and my crush for him grew even stronger. sometimes he would come up in my dreams and then i would try to summon fate itself—manifesting, wishing, aching for him to love me back. because, as every girl knows, there is always a phase where we believe the universe listens. and so, i rinsed and repeated, hoping one day, he would look at me the way I looked at him when we messaged or meet up, he felt like my twin flame. a connection so deep, so natural, that i convinced myself he must feel it too. he understood me, and i understood him but i never felt that he liked me as much as i liked him. and then, it ended—not with a dramatic farewell, not with a grand confession, but with silence. I ruined it in my own quiet way: fading out, withdrawing, blocking him, letting the messages go unanswered. I stopped reaching out, and so did he. it was as if we had been a story left unfinished, pages ripped from the book before the final chapter could be written it has been four months since we last spoke. and now, he has a girlfriend. may I add—throughout our years of friendship, he never had one. situationships, yes, but never something real. yet, here she is. not me. the day I found out, it struck me in a way I hadn’t expected. I had let him slip from my thoughts, let weeks pass without missing him—until I saw what I had once longed for, in the hands of someone else. I hadn’t realized I was still holding onto the dream until it shattered before me. now, my mind drifts to what could have been. I picture myself in her place, feel the ghost of a life that was never mine. would he have loved me, if I had held on? if I had tried? was I ever good enough for him? wasn’t I pretty enough for him…? why… her… not… me…? time is meant to heal. i know this. but this wound runs deep. losing someone you once felt connected to in the deepest corners of your soul is a quiet kind of grief, the kind that doesn’t announce itself loudly but lingers in the spaces between thoughts. my heart feels heavy, my soul even heavier but today, i miss him more than usually. i’ve fallen to deep, so now every time i think of him, i will miss him deeply.

@lukrecija

Feb 28, 2025

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<3

you know, all i like to write about is love.  writing is easier when it’s about your own personal experiences of grief, of pain but love is the beautiful dove of the two  released at a funeral, released at a wedding. , because the definition is different for everybody. — the trees rustle again tonight, and the wind gently taps on the windowpane, begging again to be let in and my thoughts race farther and faster in the night than a pure-bred, hot-blooded racehorse, bucking wild for the first time my mind buzzes, stricken like a gong, reverberating in the quietness of tonight as i drag myself closer to you, you reach out for me, an unspoken, gentle and devout prayer, asking for me in the unspeakable words conveyed in a whisper through actions – i promised you a fantastical world of your own, where you are safe, through my own creation. i have created for you in the heart of my own somewhere for me to love you,  fully and infinitely with all of myself. if this is not where you are safe, then there is nothing else. –  word by word and sentence by sentence i create dreams i would never tell anybody not even under the skies of a cloudless night. when i sleep, i tuck my hopes and sadness under my pillow and hope a fairy will kidnap it and place in that spot something i should need more. but night after night, my dreams just macerate in the container of my heart. soon, i will drink them like an elixir of truth and what i am afraid of will come

@neiternal

May 2, 2025

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goodbye letter

though words feel too small for what i feel for you, i still want to try. we fell in love fast. faster than i knew was possible. and so, so deep. like something in me had been waiting quietly for you, and the second you arrived, it stood up and said, finally. it was sudden, intense, and real. you opened a door in me i didn’t even know was closed—and i stepped through without hesitating. and that kind of falling… is beautiful. and terrifying. because when something touches you this deeply, you know it’ll leave a marK. and i know—whatever happens—this will break me. at least for a whiLe. but i wouldn’t take a single second bacK. because loving you has meant loving all of you. the way you draw, and your inner child comes out through your hanDs. the way your body lights up when you skate, like it remembers freedom. the way you get frustrated sometimes—but never shut down. you stay open, soft, human. i love how you hold it together with graCe. how you melt into my arms at the end of the day and let me hold you like you’ve been needing it. i love how you care so deepLy. how you notice things most people don’t. how you believe there’s more out there for you—because there is. and yes, selfishly, i wish that “more” included mE. i love that you get annoyed when i turn away from you in my slEep. that you want me close—even then. i love your gentleness. your firE. your mind. your spirit. the way you see me. and let me see you. and now i’m packing my life into boXes. getting ready for cologne. while you’re still here in barcelona—though maybe not foreVer. it hurts to leave. it hurts to see that little crack in your smile that i know wasn’t there before. i hate that i’m the reaSon for it. but love like this doesn’t just vanish. it shifts. it stretches. it finds new ways to stay aLive. and i believe we will figure this out. not overnight. not without pain. but we wiLl. because this doesn’t feel like the end of our story. it feels like a pause. a transforMation. a deep breath. you are something i didn’t expect—but something i’ll never forget. and i love you, in all your layers. always, m

@majapapaya

Jul 7, 2025

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