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america is crumbling, institutions are failing, slashes in the safety net are windfalls to billionaires & defense contractors, and federal forces are brutally terrorizing my neighbors, my city, and my state - but at least i retain the freedom to give myself a tummy ache from eating too much candy
16h ago
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for my charleston chew heads... </3
i don't wanna order candy bars online i kinda just want to stumble upon one every 3 years or so in a whimsical sorta fashion and eat as i'm making my way downtown
Jan 23, 2024
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black licorice rocks my whole entire world- it's rude and disgusting, which is why i love it and always keep a little on me, getting weird and melted at the bottom of my bag. candy is for children but black licorice is for cool grown ups. here are some of the craziest kinds:PANDA, the sweet kind: for when you need to wash down a savory meal with a little sweet treat!WHEELS, the hard kind: for when you don't want to chew on something with the consistency of food, and would rather chew on something with the consistency of plastic.CHIPS, the minty kind: for when you need a cure! weird cough, weird throat or weird stomach, these are basically like the candy cure for all of that! tiny little hard licorice treats that are mentholated so they taste medical, eating them feels like it's good for you! sometimes i will eat one of these after every meal because it feels like mouthwash for your entire guts. i'm so jewish that sometimes i need help digesting food, and these minty lil guys help me wash it all down. they're also the perfect texture: hard and teeth-destroying. i like carrying them around in my bag because they make the whole bottom of my bag smell like a clean hospital.VENCO CATS, the savory kind: for when you don't want to share your candy with anyone, so you purposefully find unappealing candy that smells/tastes too gross. the bag smells like shit as soon as you open it, so no one ever wants a piece of your candy once you crack these puppies open. they're a little sweet and perfectly hard, and eating just one is enough of a candy treat to tide you over for the day.HARIBO PIRATE COINS "PIRATOS", the salty kind: for when you want to punish yourself with something actually disgusting, and clear out everything in your entire body. want to reset the flavor alignment with your tongue? want to completely erase the feeling of your entire body? want something that will kill you dead, so that you can be reborn again? eat one of these salty pirate coins and you'll have to throw your whole mouth away and get a new one! wanna play a mean trick on someone? offer them one of these Danish delights and they will never forgive you for what you have done to them. eating a single coin is like swallowing an entire salt shaker whole.
Dec 23, 2021
Top Recs from @bioluminescent
i love taking psychic damage looking at the ceiling while waiting for my pastrami to find you’re sitting a table over from the director of a movie you watched a few summers ago with a dear art hoe friend from college
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