Related Recs

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Continuity

First off, ditch the misogynistic crowd like the plague (I’m sure you already know this!). Secondly, every pre-existing friendship group feels out of reach until you become part of it. People naturally will gravitate towards people they’ve known longer and are close with. The only way to become more part of a group is to be with them more. This is true of any friendship or friendship group. The more you show up to it, the more it becomes a solid friendship. When you find a person or a group you get on with, keep meeting up with them. Don’t be embarrassed to ask, everyone was new once! And sometimes you don’t even have to ask, if there’s a specific event they always attend, become a regular, just hang out! Friendship doesn’t just happen like we often think it does, it requires being in the same places, and putting in the same effort repeatedly. friendship seemed easier at school, but that’s because you were in the same place with the same people everyday. Obviously keep an eye out for people or groups who are clearly just not wanting to reciprocate that energy and look for people who are open to it! I struggle with this too, especially as someone who can’t get out all the time, but my most recent example is my friend Ant runs a little acoustic night every wednesday, so I’m starting to go every Wednesday to talk to him behind the bar, and to be around our mutual friends who arent necessarily my friends yet but become more so everything I’m there. royallmonarch has a great rec about community when trying to make a city a home that I’ll try to share in the comments cause it wont seem to let me do it here!

@mouse

Apr 7, 2024

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advice on getting and having friends

idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing to find friends: 1. do something consistently 2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves 3. do something that requires discussion exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom. on becoming friends: 1. open invites 2. follow ups now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite. on being friends: 1. do the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be

@mdoinurmom

Jan 27, 2025

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YOU CAN GET A BEER WITH ANYONE

what ive learned about being a friend and having friends is that sometimes your favorite people and your favorite activities don’t go hand in hand. my closest friends are people ive known forever with 9-5s and families. i live with my parents and work at a pizza shop, i got more free time. i like to go to shows and bars and parties but a lot of my core friends can’t as often. so i ask around, hit up acquaintances and old friends, see if my other friends have anyone they can introduce me to who likes the same things. i think if you’re seeking out people who got the time or the interest, you can find them because they’re probably looking for the same thing. im a few years younger than you, but i picked this trick up from watching my 55 year old dad call up random people all the time. if someone can’t go out with him, he FINDS someone. best of luck on the journey of filling your social cup. i know it feels lonely out there but there’s people out there for everyone!

@roogby

May 16, 2025

Top Recs from @paula

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the fact that this pi.fyi has no sounds, no videos, no photos, no dms

it makes me feel so grounded and present…. like i’m one with nature

@paula

Dec 24, 2023

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being enthusiastic

Nothing annoys me more about the American culture than the lack of enthusiasm. If I invite you to go somewhere and your answer is “sure” or “why not”, I’m taking it back. I do not wanna be surrounded by indifferent people. It’s unworthy.

@paula

Dec 18, 2023

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chartreuse with my son

@paula

Feb 1, 2025