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Throughout my past relationships I’ve noticed a pattern where I tend to lose myself. Whether it be to “fit” my partner better or simply just neglecting the things that make me, me, for a period whilst in a relationship. In my time sharing this experience with others, I’ve found that many often relate. I believe that the best thing you can do after a breakup is to become fully in touch with yourself again. My personal outlet happens to be writing, putting all those feelings down pen to paper has been one of the most cathartic things I can do after a breakup. Whether I’m spinning those words into a poem, a story or just a garbled mess of words on a page, I’ve found it really helps. So really, whatever your creative outlet is, dive deeper into that and it will almost always ease the pain.
19h ago
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😃The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someone—(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means it’s working. Sending you love ❤️
Mar 16, 2024
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🧍A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I don’t remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me.
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that don’t feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, I’ve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you don’t need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and that’s really cool <3
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that don’t feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, I’ve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you don’t need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and that’s really cool <3
Mar 11, 2024
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🍒There is a lot of really good advice and input in the other responses, but I just wanted to let you know that about a year ago I broke up and stopped talking to the person I was dating for over 8 years. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know about myself. In that time I’ve picked up a few art classes, fitness classes, and some of those I hated. Every time I was sad that I wanted to do [insert any thing or activity] but I didn’t have someone to do it with, I would go do it alone.
This time last year was really hard. I had to drag my ass out of my apartment on long walks. podcasts were my best friends, because my real people friends would be busy some times and that’s okay! yeah I did watch all of love island. Alllll of it. I remember thinking “do I exist if I don’t have a person to tell xyz to??” Like yes girl ofc you do!!!!
Right now I feel like my life and my heart are so full And happy and Light!!! Putting myself first and finding out what I like has been amazing and I’m so excited to hear about how You’re doing with it all.
This time last year was really hard. I had to drag my ass out of my apartment on long walks. podcasts were my best friends, because my real people friends would be busy some times and that’s okay! yeah I did watch all of love island. Alllll of it. I remember thinking “do I exist if I don’t have a person to tell xyz to??” Like yes girl ofc you do!!!!
Right now I feel like my life and my heart are so full And happy and Light!!! Putting myself first and finding out what I like has been amazing and I’m so excited to hear about how You’re doing with it all.
Jun 18, 2024
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📚I’ve noticed a recent trend, specifically in the romance genre of books where they have these very generic, colorful, illustrated covers. These covers, to me, suggest light-hearted themes throughout the book but upon further inspection they are anything but. So my question is, why? Is it to broaden audiences, more specifically, is it to get children more interested in the genre? I honestly have no clue. My only thought is that if more children are reading those books, they’re less likely to notice the lazy writing. This has been weighing on me for awhile, and I’m very curious to see if others have noticed and have any opinions. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!! May your day be full of blessings 🪷
1d ago
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this songs instrumental makes me feel like a medical princess frolicking through a field with the love of my life. magical stuff, really.
1d ago